During their time at the old age person home, Bertie and Beryl have spent many years flirting.

One day, Bertie decides to make his move. He enters Beryls room and tells her he will do anything that she wants.

Excited, she tells him,' It's been 20 years since I've had some cunnilingus. I wouldn't mind a bit of that.'

'Come on then,' He says.

Within no time at all Bertie has his head between Beryls legs but within thirty seconds he comes up for air, spluttering and choking.

'I'm sorry Beryl. It might be twenty years but it fucking stinks down there.'

'Sorry,' She says. ' That'll be the arthritis.'

Confused, he says,' Arthritis doesn't smell and you certainly can't get it down there.'

'No.' she says,' I've got it in my shoulders and it's been 10 years since I've wiped my arse.'