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Texas's Dumb and Crazy laws

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Texas
A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.
A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
Abilene: It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing.
Austin: Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket.
Beaumont: Collegiate football is banned at Lamar University.
Borger: It is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or quirts (riding crop), and explosive firecrackers of any kind.
Clarendon: It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster.
Dallas: It's illegal to possess realistic dildos.
El Paso: Churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide spittoons "of a kind and number to efficiently contain expectorations into them."
Galveston: It is illegal to drive a motor car down Broadway before noon on Sundays.
Houston: Beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but it may be purchased on Monday. It is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.
If two trains going in opposite directions on the same track meet each other, one can't move until the other does.
If you went to church in Texas years back, you'd better be recognized. An old law made it illegal to go to church in disguise.
In Alamo a person found intoxicated must be given a large dose of castor oil by a local doctor...and failure to gulp it down will result in a fine.
In Corpus Christie it is illegal to raise alligators in your home.
In Dallas County it is illegal to own any realistic looking, phallic shaped, personal massager more than one foot in length.
In Houston you cannot buy beer after midnight on Sunday, but you can buy it on Monday.
In Kingsville, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
In Lefors, Texas it is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer at any time while standing.
In Mesquite, Texas it is illegal for kids to have unusual haircuts.
In Texas criminals are required to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
In Texas it's legal for a chicken to have sex with you, but it's illegal to reciprocate.
It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
It is illegal to carry a pair of wire-cutters in your back pocket.
It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
It is illegal for a person to shoot a buffalo from the second story of their hotel.
It is illegal to have an open container in a car.
It is illegal to have anything protruding from your bumper unless it is attached with a chain
It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
It is illegal to spit on the sidewalk.
It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo.
It is legal for a husband to beat his wife as long as he uses something no bigger than his thumb.
It is legal for the blind to go hunting as long as they have someone with them who isn't blind.
It is legal to commit a homicide as long as you tell the person when, and how you are going to kill them.
It is Texas law that when two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
In San Antonio, Texas, you can't honk a horn, run a generator, have a revival meeting or do anything else that disturbs the neighborhood and the city has a four-member noise police squad to enforce the law.
In Texas any artificial constructed underwater barrier reefs must come with an instruction booklet.
In Texas, sixteen-year old divorced girls are prohibited from talking about sex during high school extracurricular activities.
It is unlawful for a person to consume an alcoholic beverage while operating a motor vehicle upon a public roadway, if the person is observed doing so by a peace officer.
Jasper: Dogs must be on a leash at ALL times. Fine of 100 dollars.
LeFors: It is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer while standing.
Lubbock County: It is illegal to drive within an arm's length of alcohol - including alcohol in someone else's blood stream.
Mesquite: It is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.
Port Arthur: Obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator.
Richardson: It is now illegal to place a "for sale" sign on a car if it visible from the street. It is illegal to do "U Turns".
San Antonio: It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.
Temple: No one may ride a horse and buggy through the town square. You can ride your horse in the saloon. Cattle thieves may be hanged on the spot.
Texarkana: Owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights.
Texas law forbids anyone to have a pair of pliers in his possession.
Texas state law prohibits taking more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
There is an old law in Texas that states you are unable to tuck your pants into one boot unless you own ten or more cattle.
When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
You can be legally married by publicly introducing a person as your husband or wife 3 times.
dj_em Uploaded 01/01/2010
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