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Oral Sex Advice

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Oral sex is a lot like regular sex: you probably don't get enough of it, it's not like it is in the movies and it's over WAY too fast.

So how do you know when the right time for oral sex is? Well, lucky for both genders, there is now a do's-and-don'ts list of how to ask for oral sex.

ADVICE FOR MEN
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DO: Be extremely nice for at least two full weeks prior to asking for oral sex
DO: Gauge her mood carefully. Pick a day when she's feeling good.
DON'T: Ask on a day that she has a bad day at work, feels sick, has a fight with her parents, feels fat, her hair didn't turn out right, feels bloated, is too hot/cold, etc.
DO: Consider giving her a nice present.
DON'T: Attactch said present to your penis.
DO: Take her out to a nice dinner.
DON'T: Go to Red Lobster.
DO: When the time comes for actually asking for mouth sex, make every other word "please".
DON'T: Phrase your question in a disgusting way (i.e, "Can I wash out your throat with my man soap?").
DO: Beg if neccessary (It'll probably be neccessary).
DON'T: Wear that shirt that she hates because you were wearing it that one time you were "acting like an asshole, showing off for those stupid friends of yours".
DON'T: Think you can get away with making out for a hile, then start pushing down on the top of her head.

ADVICE FOR WOMEN
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DO: Ask politely (impolitely works fine too).
DO: Point your finger in a downward direction.
Sysko Uploaded 02/06/2010
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Tags: men and women oral sex

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