A sergeant got into the mood for bullying some rookies. He spotted a private and said:

- Soldier, run into these bushes and see if I'm there! On the double!!!

The private ran as fast as he could, disappeared in the bushes for a moment then quickly returned to the sergeant, wheezing. The sergeant goes for round 2 with the push around:

- Did you find me?
- Yes, sir. - the private replied - You were hiding behind a tree, using toilet paper as camouflage.