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Party Hard

Guy went to his friend's bachelor party. He had one drink too much and fell asleep. When he woke up, he looked at the clock to see it was 4 a.m.

He looked around and noticed he was the only one in the room and laying on the couch. His buddies were all upstairs, still partying. Suddenly, he remembered that he promised his wife to come back before 2 a.m.

He tried to stand up, but he fell to the ground. He struggled to get up for 5 minutes. He couldn't. He crawled to the stairs. Managed to get up but couldn't make a step. He shouted to his friends "Guys, I need some help here!" Nobody replied - the music was to loud for anybody to hear him.

The guy decided to call a cab. After ordering one, he crawled to the door and waited for the cab to arrive. After 10 minutes, he heard a horn. It was the cab. He tried to pull himself up, but wobbled and fell to the ground.

After a few deep breaths, he grabbed the doorknob and somehow managed to open the door. He crawled out of the house. The taxi driver saw the drunk guy and helped him get into the car.

"Man, how much did you drink?" the cab driver asked on the way. "I don't even recall how much. I know I fell asleep and can't even stand up now" the guy replied. As they arrived at his home, it turned out the guy still couldn't walk normally. The cab driver helped him get to the door and drove away.

The guy didn't want to wake up his wife, so he crawled silently up the stairs. He got to the bedroom and quietly dragged himself up the bed. His wife was sleeping. "At least I didn't wake her up" he said to himself, when suddenly a phone rang.

The wife woke up and asked what's going on. The guy answered the phone. It was his buddy calling from the party. "What the fuck are you doing, you moron? Calling me at 5 a.m.? You woke up my wife!" The guy on the other side was astonished "Man, I noticed you were gone and wanted to ask what happened."

The guy was furious "What do you mean what happened? I went home." His buddy replied "Without your wheelchair?"
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