''Sarah Palin's speaking contract rider requires two first-class tickets from Alaska or a private jet from Alaska, nothing smaller than a Lear 60, and it has to have a window she can shoot out of. She has to have three hotel rooms, a wooden podium, not plexiglass, two bottles of water, and best of all, a supply of bendable straws. This is a complicated woman. On one hand, you know, she'll blow a moose's head off at 300 yards, but on the other, bendy straws.''