How do witches keep their hair in place with all that flying around on broomsticks? Scarespray, of course!

Why is it impossible to tell twin witches apart? Because you never know which witch is which.

Why don't angry witches ride their brooms? They're afraid of flying off the handle.

How does the witch know what time it is? She looks at her witch-watch.

What is a witch's favorite subject in school? Spelling.

What did the witch do when her broomstick broke? She witch-hiked.

What does a witch child want for Christmas? A haunted dollhouse.

Why do witches wear name tags? So they can know which witch is which.

What do you call two witches living together? Broom-mates.

What does a witch ask for when she is in a hotel? Broom service.

What did one witch say to other when she was offered a lift? "There's always broom for one more."

When do witches cook their victims? On Fry Day.

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.

What do you call a motorbike that belongs to a witch? A brrrooooommmm stick.

Who was the most famous witch detective? Warlock Holmes.

Why does a witch ride a broom? Vacuum cleaners get stopped at the end of the cord.

What do you call a witch's garage? A broom closet.

What do witches eat at Halloween? Spooketti, halloweenies, devils food cake and booberry pie.

What story do little witches like to hear at bedtime? Ghouldelox and the three scares.

Why did the witch put her broom in the washing machine? She wanted to make a clean sweep.

What noise does a witch's breakfast cereal make? Snap, cackle and pop.

What is a witch with poison ivy called? An itchy witchy.

What's a cold, evil candle in Sweden called? The wicked wick of the north.

What is evil, ugly and black and goes round and round? A witch in a revolving door.

Why did the witch give up fortune telling? There was no future in it.

What does a witch get if she is a poor traveler? Broom sick.

What did the doctor say to the witch in the hospital? With any luck you'll soon be well enough to get up for a spell.

What do witches race on? Vroomsticks.

Why do witches scratch themselves all the time? Because they're the only ones who know where a witch itches.

How can you tell when a witch is really ugly? When a wasp stings her and it closes his eyes.

Have you heard about the good weather witch? She's forecasting sunny spells.

What is a witch's favorite movie? Broom at the Top.

What makes more noise than an angry witch? Two angry witches.

What do you get if you cross a flea and a witch? Very worried dogs.

What happened to the witch with an upside down nose? Every time she sneezed her hat blew off.

What kind of music do witches play on the piano? Hag-time.

What should you expect if you drop in on a witches home unexpectedly?
Pot luck.

What do witches sing at Christmas?
"Deck the halls with poison ivy...."

What do you call a witch with one leg? Eileen.

Why is a witch like a candle? They're both wicked.

Why did the witch keep turning into Mickey Mouse? She kept having Disney spells.

What usually runs in witches' families? Noses.

What is the difference between a musician and a dead witch? One composes and the other decomposes.

What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch? A bird that's ugly but doesn't give a hoot.

Why won't a witch wear a flat hat? Because there is no point in it.

What do you get if you cross a witch and an iceberg? A cold spell.

Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween? Because there are so many witches sweeping the sky.

Why did the witch consult an astrologer? She wanted to know her horror-scope.

What is the difference between a witch and the letters M A K E S? One makes spells and the other spells makes.

What do little witches do after school? Their gnomework.

What's a witch's favorite film? My Fear Lady.

Why do witches get good bargains? Because they like to haggle.

What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One's a hunted stag and the other is a stunted hag.

Why did the young witch have such difficulty writing letters? She never learned to spell properly.

How can you tell if a witch has a glass eye? When it comes out in conversation.

What is the witches motto? We came, we saw, we conjured.

How do you make a witch itch? Take away the "w".

What do you call a nervous witch? A twitch.

What kind of tests do they give in witch school? Hex-aminations.

What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire? A very witch person.

How do witches on broomsticks drink their tea? Out of flying saucers.

What kind of jewelry do witches wear on their wrists? Charm bracelets.
Why didn't the witch sing at the concert? Because she had a frog in her throat.

What do you call a witch Who drives really badly? A road hag.

What happened to the naughty little witch at school? She was ex-spelled.

Why did the witch buy two tickets to the zoo? One to get in and one to get out.

What sound does a witch make when she cries? "Brew-hoo, Brew-hoo".

Why should men beware of beautiful witches? They'll sweep them off their feet.

How does a witch make scrambled eggs? She holds the pan and gets 2 friends to make the stove shake with fright.

How do you make a witch float? Blend two scoops of ice cream with one witch.

What do you call a pretty and friendly witch? A failure.

Why is a witch's face like a thousand dollar bill? It's all green and wrinkly.

What's evil and ugly and goes up and down all day? A witch stuck in a elevator.

What do you call a witch who likes the beach but is scared of the water? A chicken sand-witch.

Why do witches only ride their brooms after dark? That's the time to go to sweep.


What did the witch say to the ugly toad? "I'd put a curse on you but it looks like someone beat me to it".

What's the difference between a broomstick and a pumpkin? Ever tried broomstick pie?

Why did the witch feed her cat pennies? She wanted to put some money in the kitty.

What do you call a witch's cat that drinks vinegar? A sour puss.

What do you get if you cross a witch's cat and a canary? A cat with a full tummy.

What did the black cat do when its tail got cut off in an accident? He went to a re-tail store.

Do witches stay home on weekends? No -- they go away for a spell.

What happened to the witch who hooked her broom to a space shuttle?
She got spaced out.

Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? Their bats flew away

What does the coven's softball team do on Halloween? They practice pitchcraft.