A woman gets pulled over for speeding on the highway. She tries to talk the cop out of a speeding ticket but this just tempts him to give her i bigger fine. After she realizes she's not gonna talk him out of it she tells him "I'm sorry officer, i just have a really stressful job and i was rushing to get home, I work as an asshole stretcher."
The cop looks confused and says "An asshole stretcher? what do you do?"
The woman proceeds to tell him " Oh you know, you start with a regular asshole, then you get a finger in there, then two, then eventually you get your arm up there, then two, and you keep stretching it until it's 6 feet."
The police officer says "Jesus Christ, what do you do with a 6 foot asshole?"
"Give him a radar gun and park him on the side of the highway."