*Whats green and smells like ham?

Kermit the frogs finger.

*What is Mario and Luigi's favorite kind of pants?

Denim Denim Denim

*What do you call a woman thats weighs a lot?

Fat

*What do you do if your wife wants a divorce?

KILL HER!

*How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?

Suck its dick.

*So a priest a jew and a black guy walk into a bar what does the bar tender say?

Get the hell out of my bar!!