What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic = using a feather
Kinky = using the whole chicken

Here I sit in misty vapour in a shithouse with no paper
I have no time to sit and linger watch out asshole here comes finger

Q. Why don't guys like to preform oral sex on a woman the morning after sex?
A. Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?

Q. What did the penis say to the condom?
A. Cover me im going in!

Q. What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?
A. If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!

Q. Why dont blind men skydive?
A. Because it scares the shit out of the dog

Why does a squirrle swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry

How to you make a dish washer into a snow blower?
Give the bitch a shovel

The fight we had last night was my fault,
my wife asked me what was on the TV and i said dust.

One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver.
She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so.
She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you."
He replies "BREASTS."