Q: How much coke did Charlie Sheen take in January?
A: Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

Q: Why is Charlie Sheen suing the Japanese Tsunami?
A: Because it's replacing him as the biggest disaster on TV!

Q: What's the title for the new sitcom starring Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan?
A: "Two and a Half Grams"

Q: Why did Charlie Sheen threaten his wife with a knife?
A: Because he left his gun in Los Angeles!

Q: Who will suffer the most financially from Charlie Sheen's legal problems?
A: Call Girls!

Q: What's the main difference between Michael Jackson and Charlie Sheen?
A: Charlie Sheen doesn't die from taking drugs

Q: What does Charlie Sheen do if the dishwasher stops working?
A: He HITS HER.