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ITS SO HOT AND DRY IN TEXAS THAT

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The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.

The potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

The temperature drops below 95F (35C), you feel a bit chilly.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, �What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?�

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

A sad Texan once prayed, �I wish it would rain � not so much for me, cuz I�ve seen it � but for my 7-year-old.�

You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

The robins are laying their eggs sunny side up.

I saw squirrels fanning its nuts.

All the water buffalo at the zoo have evaporated.

I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walkin'

The HABANERO peppers in my garden are hunting a shade.

They're offering trips to the sun so Texans can cool off.

Satan moved to Alaska.

A visitor to Texas once asked, �Does it ever rain out here?� A rancher quickly answered �Yes, it does. Do you remember that part in the Bible where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?� The visitor replied, �Yes, I�m familiar with Noah�s flood.� �Well, �the rancher puffed up, �we got about two and a half inches of that.�
SpaceEagle Uploaded 06/13/2011
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