To kick start my New Year, I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.

When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year. I gave up thinking.

Definition of a hangover: Wrath of Grapes.
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I have an excuse if this joke sucks, I got up at around 11:00 am on Dec. 31 and I am still up. Not even a nap.