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Dog talk

If my dog could understand English for 5 minutes, this is what I'd tell her.
-We can't take you to the park for an hour every day. Sometimes you'll have to settle for a treat.
-Not everyone who rings the doorbell is an axe murderer.
-Please chase your tail and growl at your foot more. It's highly entertaining.
-I know this sounds crazy, but your constant whining in the car will not get us there any faster.
-Also, You're waterproof, the bath is not going to hurt you.
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