Smell your fingers...a lot.

Never have more than one eye open at a time.

Tell them you have a tattoo. When they ask to see it, explain without a tinge of irony, "It's under my skin."

Talk to your breasts/testicles. Name them. Yell at them.

After they say something normal, tell them you can "read between the lines" and "No, I will not practice archery with you in Korea."

Take notes.