A 75 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor got a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a sample tomorrow."

The next day the old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as yesterday.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explains:

"Well, doc: First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, with nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing. We called the lady next door and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep, but we couldn't get the DAMN jar open!"