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The Laws of Ultimate Reality

-Law of Mechanical Repair-
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

-Law of Gravity-
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

-Law of Probability-
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

-Law of Random Numbers-
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

-Law of the Alibi-
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

-Variation Law-
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

-Law of the Bath-
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

-Law of Close Encounters-
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

-Law of the Result-
dcos Uploaded 09/19/2008
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