One day a little boy's dog dies, and he asks his father why the dogs legs are sticking up in the air.

Thinking quickly the father replies "So that Jesus can come down from heaven and pick him up easier."

The next day the father comes home to find the boy sitting on the front porch crying.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"Mommy almost died today!" he sobs.

"What do you mean?!" asks the worried father.

"I heard noises coming from the bedroom, and when I looked inside there was mommy with her legs up in the air saying 'I'm coming, oh Jesus I'm coming!' and if the mailman hadn't been holding her down she would have been a goner!