Two soldiers are part of a foot patrol in some shit hole in some Middle-Eastern country when their commander decides it’s time to rest for the night and eat some food.
The two men are given their defensive position on the outskirts of a village and told the routine for the night, so they put their food on to cook and start to settle for the night.
After about 20 minutes one says to the other “I need a shit”
“Well you’re not doing it here as you will stink the place out “replies his comrade.
“What am I supposed to do then?” says our first soldier
“Run across to that old house over there, I will give you cover. When you need to come back wave at the window and I can cover your return. His pal said.
So clenching his cheeks and his rifle he dashes across to the house while his friend watches out for bearded baddies.
For a solid 3 hours there is no sign of his comrade at the window so the covering soldier starts to get a bit worried and wonders whether he should report his comrade missing. Just as he is about to spill the beans he gets a wave from the window so hurriedly beacons him back.
“Where the fuck have you been” he snarls at the shitting soldier.
“You will never believe this but as I was just wiping my ass I noticed a Muslim woman sat in the same room so I could not pass an opportunity up like that so I tried my luck and got a Fuck!” he replied
“No way” said the comrade in amazement.
“Yep” he smiled “Did it in every room in the house in the kitchen in the bathroom, bedroom”
“No way” was the reply again
“Yep” he grinned” Even got a bit of Anal!” boasted our first hero.
“Did you get a blow job?” his jealous friend asked.
“No” he frowned “ I couldn’t find her Head!”