A Ukrainian and a Jew were discussing how far each could make a dime
reach, and agreed to try it and meet a few days later to see who'd get
the most out of a dime.
The Jew bought a cigar, and smoked one-third the first day and saved
the ashes. He smoked one-third the second day and saved the ashes. He
smoked one-third the third day and again saved the ashes, and on the
fourth day he gave the ashes to his wife to use as fertilizer on her
roses.
He told the Ukrainian, "I know you can't beat that for stretching a
dime."
The Ukrainian said, "I got you beat. I bought a Polish sausage for a
dime, and the first day I ate one-half, and on the second day I ate
the other one-half. The third day I used the skin for a condom, and
the fourth day I took a shit in the skin and sewed it back up. The
fifth day I took it back to the butcher and told him it smelled like
shit. He agreed with me and gave me my dime back!"