A father asks his 10-year-old son if he knows the truth about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" the child says, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me!"

Confused, the father asks what's wrong. "Oh, dad," the boy sobs. "When I was six, I got the There's no Santa' speech. At seven, I got the There's no Easter Bunny' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the There's no tooth fairy' speech. If you're going to tell me that adults don't really fuck, I'll have nothing left to live for."