John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache and unable to recall the events of the night before.

After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Cindy," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she said. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."

"He's an asshole," John said. "Piss on him."

"You did," she said. "And he fired you."

"Well, screw him!" said John.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday."