The Drunken Priest

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous, he asked the monsignor what to do. The monsignor said, "When I'm worried about getting nervous, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass, and if I get nervous, I take a sip." So he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous, so he took a sip of vadka, and then another, and another, Afterward, he was sure he'd given the best sermon ever. Upon returning to his office after mass, he found the follwing note nailed to his door:
F.Y.I. Father:
Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not 'bet his ass'.
The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as 'Daddy, Junior, and The Spook'.
David slew Goliath, he did not 'kick the shit out of him'.
David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, he was not 'stoned off his ass'.
The Virgin Mary isn't referred to as 'Cherry Mary'.
Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter p
Uploaded 05/18/2008
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