A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?" The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, her boobs are like melons, round & firm. In her 30s t o 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, you see them & they make you cry." This infuriated his wife & daughter, so the daughter asks, "Mom, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?" The mother smiles & answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty & hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After 50, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree?" "Yes, dead from the root up & the balls are just for decoration.