Ask if you can see the cockpit.

Turn on overhead reading light. Take shirt off, oil up.

Take out a mirror. Touch up makeup. Make this take longer than it should. Gradually do yourself up to look like a member from Kiss.

For payment, offer the bus driver coupons that say "Good for one back rub" or "one be nice for a day."

Always look like you're about to say something to the person next to you, but don't.