1. What do you put in a toaster?




Simple to answer, right?




Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something else.

2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?










Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't attempt the next question.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?










Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why the hell are you still reading these?

4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing,decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no man's land"?











Answer: You don't bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop.


5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus; In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?








Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!


6. Some months have 31 days in them, others have 30, but how many have 28?




Think you know?


Answer: All 12 months have 28 days in them! If you didn't get that one, then you sir are a FAILURE.


7.There are two clocks of different colors: the red clock is broken and doesn't run at all, but the blue clock loses one second every 24 hours. Which clock is more accurate?




Well Young Grasshopper, do you think you know?

Answer: The Red Clock. Twice a day, the red clock is correct while the blue is never correct because of that one second that it is off. Jeeze! You can't even tell time!



8.OH NO!! A MATH QUESTION: Take 30 and divide it by half. Add 10 to it. What to you get??




Algebra seems like a good class to have paid attention to now.

Answer: 70! Technically, half is 0.5, so if you divide 30 by 0.5, you get 60. Add 10 and BAM! you get 70. If you answered incorrectlly, then I would suggest going back to 3rd grade.



9. You're in 5th place in a race. You speed up and pass 3rd place. What is your Rank?



Don't hurt yourself...

Answer: 3rd! If you pass 3rd place, then you are now in 3rd place, not 2nd. Please don't tell me you got that wrong!

10. 2 fathers and 2 sons go fishing. after a long days work, they each caught a fish. When the came home, there was 3 fish. How is this possible?




And no, they did not eat one on the way home.

Answer: There is a Grandfather, a Father, and a Son. The grandfather is the father of the father. the father is father of the son. the father is the son of the grandfather. So there is your 2 fathers and 2 sons. DUH!



11. What color is an airplanes black box?




I know what youre gonna say.

Answer: Black. And if you said orange... >.<




12.You dig a hole that is 3ft by 3ft by 3ft. How much dirt is in it?




Youre gonna get dirty!

Answer: None. You dug a hole dummy. Thats sad if you got it wrong.



So how did you do?
Terrrible right?