This little piggy went to market.
This little piggy stayed at home.
This little piggy had roast beef.
This little piggy had none.
And this little piggy went “cough, sneeze” and the whole world’s media went mad over the imminent destruction of the human race, and every journalist found ut that they didn’t have to do too much work if they just did “Find ‘bird’, replace with ’swine’” on all their saved articles from a year ago, er, all the way home.