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- Dreaming Numbers
- I was walking down the street the other day when I saw my buddy Matt. I walked up to him and mentioned that I had the most bizarre dream the night...
- guitarlover 10/27/2010
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- 177,494
- 602
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- Drunk
- A Virginia State trooper pulled a car over on I-64 about 2 miles south of the Virginia/West Virginia State line.. When the trooper asked the driver...
- rattlebox02 10/16/2010
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- 176,010
- 448
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- Flat Chest
- A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department...
- blooddiamonds 03/11/2010
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- 287
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- My Needs
- Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says, "I don' t feel like it. I just...
- amphora13579 02/24/2010
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- Hedge Clippers
- A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped, and every once in ...
- roxanna_us 02/05/2010
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- 318
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- Why Women Shouldn't Take Men Shopping
- After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred...
- matman747 02/02/2010
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- 463
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- 44th Birthday
- Two weeks ago was my 44th birthday and I wasn`t feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and...
- BrandonAR 01/07/2010
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- No-Parking Zone
- There was once a little girl and a little boy in kindergarten. One day, the little boy pulled down his pants and asked the little girl,...
- daveatnite 12/31/2009
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- 133,264
- 320
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- One-Liners
- 1) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting a tomato in a fruit salad. 2) The early bird might get the worm, but the second...
- xxfregiltxx 11/28/2009
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- 346
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- The Men's rules
- We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are OUR rules: Please note… these are...
- guinness13494 11/07/2009
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- 229,421
- 659
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- Subject Drug Warning
- Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, partygoers and unsuspecting pub regulars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any...
- thelegendery 10/12/2009
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- 140,054
- 293
- 19
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- The Lie Detector Robot
- John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day...
- KingRolo0503 09/10/2009
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- 142,959
- 407
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- Why I Had to Change Hotels Last Week
- Last week I checked into my hotel in Tampa and was a bit lonely. I thought, I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone books like...
- LTlingerie 08/31/2009
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- 141,314
- 332
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- Perfect Eyesight
- Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's...
- thelegendery 08/30/2009
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- 315
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- Rude and Arrogant Americans
- The train was quite crowded, and a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat.. There seemed to be one next to a well-dressed,...
- 237g 08/30/2009
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- 108,087
- 350
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- Whaling on the High Seas
- A pair of whales, a male and his mate were swimming along one day when they came upon a whaling vessel. M: ''Oh shit!'' F: ''What is it?'' M:...
- CaptainJ 07/22/2009
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- 194
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- Worldwide Survey
- A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food...
- midnite492 06/13/2009
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- 95,556
- 508
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- Age Vs Wisdom
- A guy is 86 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up." He...
- ADLife 06/11/2009
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- 128,036
- 444
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- French Prostitutes
- Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time...
- rockzilla411 06/03/2009
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- 133,826
- 514
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- CDC Medical Alert
- The CDC has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even...
- Ricky2 05/14/2009
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- 79,065
- 472
- 16
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- REINCARNATION
- Jason came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk (as he often did) and crept into bed beside his wife who was already...
- pbl0 04/15/2009
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- 114,372
- 466
- 32
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- Socialism - Good on Paper, Not in Reality...
- An economics professor at Texas Tech said he had failed very few students but had, once, failed an entire class. That class had insisted that...
- wxb200 04/02/2009
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- 112,547
- 1359
- 37
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- 20 years with my wife
- A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen...
- pbl0 04/01/2009
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- 158,493
- 584
- 27
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- Drunk Irishman
- Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be...
- xckxgoaleprcaun 03/24/2009
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- 88,834
- 285
- 15
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- Some Things You Just Can't Explain
- A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting saused. A man comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day...
- thelegendery 03/09/2009
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- 139,750
- 471
- 25
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- Joys of Shopping
- A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. 'What do you think...
- crackrocksteady 03/04/2009
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- 92,479
- 430
- 20
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joke
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- Animals kicking their habits..
- A Little Rabbit is running happily through the woods when he comes across a Giraffe rolling a joint. He runs up the Giraffe and says, "Hey,...
- yuri_vaultin 02/26/2009
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- 81,170
- 465
- 17
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joke
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- Four Worms
- Four Worms and a lesson to be learned: A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were...
- thelegendery 02/24/2009
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- 89,440
- 463
- 11
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joke
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- The Duck Hunter
- A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak.... He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just...
- milestyles55 02/19/2009
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- 81,350
- 542
- 5
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joke
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- Son in law
- One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth In the middle of catching...
- twcdotcom 02/18/2009
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- 95,035
- 494
- 11
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joke
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- Ear infection
- This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong -- and sometimes it...
- APBonds 02/08/2009
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- 96,059
- 276
- 45
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joke
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- Single vs. Engaged vs. MARRIED!!
- Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, "Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather...
- Ryan1966 02/05/2009
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- 93,322
- 345
- 25
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joke
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- Women Should Never Ask
- There are five things that women should never, ever ask a guy, according to an article in an issue of Sassy magazine. The five questions are: 1...
- thelegendery 01/29/2009
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- 204,223
- 10361
- 15
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joke
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- What would you do?
- A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight. While en route home he asks the cabby if he would be a witness. The man...
- imdave77 01/28/2009
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- 167,121
- 583
- 18
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joke
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- The Queen's Breasts
- Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts. Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the...
- rondetto 01/27/2009
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- 335,796
- 579
- 38
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joke
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- Happy and Sad
- A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, I bet you can't tell me something...
- Ryan1966 01/26/2009
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- 128,017
- 955
- 23
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joke
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- Priest and His Baby
- A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time...
- jobeman1296 01/23/2009
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- 180,971
- 518
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