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I was walking down the street the other day when I saw my buddy Matt. I walked up to him and mentioned that I had the most bizarre dream the...
A Virginia State trooper pulled a car over on I-64 about 2 miles south of the Virginia/West Virginia State line.. When the trooper asked the...
A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale...
Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says, "I don' t feel like it. I...
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped, and every once...
Why Women Shouldn't Take Men Shopping
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and...
Two weeks ago was my 44th birthday and I wasn`t feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and...
There was once a little girl and a little boy in kindergarten. One day, the little boy pulled down his pants and asked the little girl,...
1) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting a tomato in a fruit salad. 2) The early bird might get the worm, but the...
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We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are OUR rules: Please note… these...
Subject Drug Warning
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, partygoers and unsuspecting pub regulars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from...
The Lie Detector Robot
John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change. One...
Why I Had to Change Hotels Last Week
Last week I checked into my hotel in Tampa and was a bit lonely. I thought, I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone books like...
Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's...
Rude and Arrogant Americans
The train was quite crowded, and a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat.. There seemed to be one next to a well-dressed,...
Whaling on the High Seas
A pair of whales, a male and his mate were swimming along one day when they came upon a whaling vessel. M: ''Oh shit!'' F: ''What is it?'' M:...
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the...
Age Vs Wisdom
A guy is 86 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up." He...
Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next...
CDC Medical Alert
The CDC has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even...
Jason came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk (as he often did) and crept into bed beside his wife who was already...
Socialism - Good on Paper, Not in Reality...
An economics professor at Texas Tech said he had failed very few students but had, once, failed an entire class. That class had insisted that...
20 years with my wife
A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen...
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not...
A guy goes to his doctor. "Doc, I'm having trouble in the bedroom. I just can't get into it with my wife any more." The doctor...
Some Things You Just Can't Explain
A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting saused. A man comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful...
Joys of Shopping
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. 'What do you...
Animals kicking their habits..
A Little Rabbit is running happily through the woods when he comes across a Giraffe rolling a joint. He runs up the Giraffe and says, "Hey,...
Four Worms and a lesson to be learned: A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms...
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A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak.... He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. ...
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One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth In the middle of...
This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong -- and...
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Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, "Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a...
Women Should Never Ask
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What would you do?
A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight. While en route home he asks the cabby if he would be a witness. The...
The Queen's Breasts
Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts. Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the...
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A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, I bet you can't tell me...
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his...
Twin sisters in St. Luke's Nursing Home were turning one hundred years old. The editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over...
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A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the...
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