13 Things That are Only True When You're Drunk

Marty Mcfly Published 01/13/2015

When you're hanging over the porcelain throne and promising yourself that you'll never drink again, reality will smack you in the face, but until then, these things couldn't be more true.

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1.
Extremely simple ideas are actually extremely brilliant ideas.
2.
The area surrounding the urinal also counts as the urinal.
3.
Taking the stairs is a feat.
4.
The bartender is a free therapist.
5.
It's better if you say something right now...
6.
...Because why not? You're like modern Shakespeare.
7.
You have plenty of money to buy that full-sized Darth Vader coat rack you've always wanted for the past 15 minutes.
8.
You're not DRUNK drunk.
9.
...And your friends are crazy for suggesting otherwise.
10.
Of course she should take you home: You're a goddamn Adonis.
11.
The entire earth is shifting violently beneath you.
12.
One more drink couldn't hurt.
13.
The world is your mattress.

1.
Extremely simple ideas are actually extremely brilliant ideas.
2.
The area surrounding the urinal also counts as the urinal.
3.
Taking the stairs is a feat.
4.
The bartender is a free therapist.
5.
It's better if you say something right now...
6.
...Because why not? You're like modern Shakespeare.
7.
You have plenty of money to buy that full-sized Darth Vader coat rack you've always wanted for the past 15 minutes.
8.
You're not DRUNK drunk.
9.
...And your friends are crazy for suggesting otherwise.
10.
Of course she should take you home: You're a goddamn Adonis.
11.
The entire earth is shifting violently beneath you.
12.
One more drink couldn't hurt.
13.
The world is your mattress.