1. You wildly overstate your case.

2. You act as if the rules don't apply to you.

3. You preemptively tell others to fuck off.

4. This is your idea of holiday cheer:

5. You really believe it's that simple.

6. Rather than the pedestrian 'Beware of Dog' sign you instead opt for this:

7. You have a five year old do your dirty work.

8. You think you have all the answers.

9. One obnoxious purchase is not enough.