Although Angela Merkell is a stubborn lover and as stiff as a board on the surface, she contains a creamy coconut center that only few men have ever had the pleasure of tasting... And surviving.

As an android Chris Huhne has never been able to really enjoy sex, but he can still store data that helps him understand why humans do.

Right before his last two thrusts he likes to ask the recipient who the Daddy is?If they don't respond with his correct and full answer of: 'David William Donald Cameron' he will make Ian Duncan Smith make them work in a Poundland.

Ed Balls thinks sex is funny and dirty.I just said balls.

Ed Milliband has never had sex because he doesn't believe in sex before prime ministership.Here is a photo of him after his first wank.

Everybody thought this was the face of George Osborne crying at Margaret Thatchers funeral, but in actual fact this is a man with no morals or empathy for human life.Hollow shells of human beings ejaculate from their tear ducts.

Michael Gove tries to phone God in his mind whilst he deposits his seed.He's never had an answer, but he has left tons of messages.

Nick Clegg always say's he's "Sorry" and then walks away without explaining why or what he's going to do about the mess.

Silvio Berlusconi likes to imagine he's a scarab beetle eating dung or fungus.

Theresa May enjoys sex as much as most of us would enjoy a fat and aging tribute band to chumbawamba.

Tony Blair likes to stoically stare his "victim" in the face before, during and after the ritual.

Upon ejaculating Nigel Farage's face slowly sinks down into his chest cavity where he hibernates for up to 4 days.

Eric Pickles is an extra dimensional being. Here is a photo Captured by the large Hardon Camera of him sucking in oxygen from another universe during sex.

Boris JohnBone is known for his depraved and debauched sexual encounters. He declares to this day that his best moments where had whilst holding Ken LivingBones hand.

Benjamin Netanyahu likes to count down from 10 before exploding with the words "Mutually Assured Destruction!"

Here is a photo of Hermaphrodite wind whisperer kim jong un.Kim is able to 'Stay real' with the weather and occasionally copulate with small clouds.