1. Why didn't I just put a loaded gun in my mouth instead of marring her? 2. 'Holy crap, look at that ass. Somewhere, a semi-truck is missing its 'Oversized Load' sign. 3. 'Somewhere, there's two fat girls naked in a hot tub and I'm stuck here listening to her jabber on about health care. 4. 'Wow!! I could'a had a V8