Absinthe has been banned in the U.S. forever. A few years back they sorta lifted the ban... but the absinthe that's legal in the U.S. now can only contain a small amount of wormwood. And absinthe without the wormwood isn't really absinthe it doesn't make you hallucinate -- all you're doing is drinking something that's green and contains a little alcohol. Might as well drink Pucker. Or Hi-C Ecto Cooler and rum.

The FDA decided to ban Four Loko because the mix of alcohol and caffeine is so dangerous. Man, I hope they don't find out about Red Bull vodkas, whiskey-Cokes, rum and cokes, Jagerbombs, Irish coffees, SuperDews, 5 Hour Everclear, and the 85 million other ways people have been mixing alcohol and caffeine forever.

Not to be confused with FUBU. Fugu, the mostly-poisonous Japanese puffer fish, is neither for us, nor bought by us

Haggis has been banned in the U.S. for more than four decades because one of its key ingredients is sheep's lungs, and our government doesn't want us eating those. It also contains a sheep's heart and liver, and is cooked in a sheep's stomach, but those are all, apparently, cool for us to eat. So your Scottish relatives here could cook you up some haggis without the sheep's lungs, but there's really no point in eating it without one of its key ingredients

We can eat salami, prosciutto and headcheese which, of course, isn't cheese here in the U.S. But it has to be slaughtered and produced here. Your uncle in the old country any old country will do can't export any to you. So focus your importingexporting business elsewhe

Dog and cat meat are frowned upon, but there's no nationwide ban on them. Can't say the same for horse or human meat. A few years ago, it became illegal to slaughter horses for food in the U.S. Before that, there were actually factories here that would slaughter horses for their meat. But since we don't really eat it, it was usually exported. Makes the glue factory look tame in comparison. Or, I suppose, equal.

Kinder Eggs are a German candy egg. They have a milk chocolate shell, a white chocolate layer below the shell... and then a hollow center where there's a little toy. Kind of like fortune cookies, if they were more delicious, less preachy and way more of a choking hazard.

Pig's Blood Cake is a Taiwanese delicacy it's a mix of pig's blood and rice on a stick. Even though those ingredients are probably healthier than whatever goes into a hot dog on a stick, pig's blood cake still gets the ban in the U.S. for being unsanitary.

Pommac was a champagne-flavored soft drink, manufactured by Dr. Pepper in the '60s. It didn't sell well... I've never had it, but I'm guessing the fact that it was a champagne-flavored soft drink had something to do with that. The fact the Dr. Pepper has succeeded while tasting like carbonated prune juice was already enough of a miracle, they couldn't go to the well a second time. The U.S. ended up banning the chemical that was used as its sweetner, sodium cyclamate, and that was the end of Pommac forever.

This used to flavor root beer among other things but was eventually banned because it was found to cause cancer in lab rats. And cancer really slows down their plans to do the same thing they do every night: Try to take over the world. I never really think of "sassafras" as an oil -- to me, it's primarily an expression used by old Southern women who are trying to avoid cussin'

This one has treaded into urban legend realms. Vegemite contains folate, which is a food additive that the FDA isn't too sweet on. So while there's no official Vegemite ban, it's murky enough that people are reluctant to import it.