"Life may throw us punches, and knock us on our ass, real friends are there to ease the pain and somehow make you laugh."

"Here’s to women, beer and song, may none of them be flat."

"Friends may come and friends may go, but liquor comes to soothe the blow."

"Here’s to rattlesnakes and condoms. Two things I’m never gonna fuck with."

"May our sons have rich fathers and beautiful mothers!"

" May your mornings bring joy and your evenings bring peace... May your troubles grow less as your blessings increase!"

"Here’s to the great artistic genius, Pablo Picasso. His last words were “Drink to me.” Who am I to question genius?"

"May you always have a clean shirt, a clear conscience, and enough coins in your pocket to buy a pint!"

"May the best of our past be the worst of our future."

"Here’s to you, here’s to me, the best of friends we’ll always be; but if we ever disagree, fuck you, here’s to me."

"There are good ships, and there are wood ships, ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships, and may they always be."

"Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker."

"We drink to those who love us, we drink to those who don’t. We drink to those who fuck us, and fuck those who don’t!"

"To our wives and girlfriends… May they never meet."

"If beer were an ocean, and I was a duck. I’d swim to the bottom to drink my way up. But the ocean is not beer, and I’m not a duck. So here’s to us, now let’s get fucked up."

"To the kisses we’ve snatched, and vice versa!"

"Here’s to whiskey, scotch, or rye, amber, smooth, and clear; it’s not as sweet as a woman’s lips, but a damn sight more sincere."

"Here is to staying positive and testing negative."

"To nights we will never remember, with the friends we will never forget."

"May we never regret this."

"Here’s to the girls of the American shore, I love but one, I love no more; Since she’s not here to drink her part, I’ll drink her drink with all my heart."

"Always remember to forget The troubles that passed away. But never forget to remember The blessings that come each day."

"Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme. Get on up! It’s bobsled time!"