ohhhh man!!! today it finally clicked for me. i'm in central Texas (around Austin to exact) and it was like in the mid 30s today! in DECEMBER!!! just proved that fucking global warming shit COMPLETELY WRONG!!! BOOM! IN YO FACE ELEITIST LIBERAL SOCIALIST SCUM DEMOCRATS!!! a cold day in DECEMBER will always trump a decades worth of data gathered by people who have dedicated their lives to researching the earths weather patterns and humans effect on it.

fuck all those "scientist" and their "data". it's all a global conspiracy, involving thousands of people, to cause us all to buy electric cars and solar powered vibrators. trust me, i read it on the internet so it has to be TRUTH.

satilite pictures of the north and south poles by NASA showing less and less ice coverage over a decade and water tempatures gradually increasing over time? all doctored. all LIES. ALL BULLSHIT.

the dude that comes on tv and tells me the forecast for the next 5 days knows whats up. if there was any evidence of global warming he would have told me by now. he hasen't said JACK SQUAT!!

if reason and evidence cannot convince and prevail, then we have no hope for our species. where did we go wrong with this topic? we turned it political instead of keeping it in the realm of self-preservation. it is and always will be in the human races best interest to take care of the fucking planet YOU SIMPLE MINDED FUCKS. until, that is, we learn how to terra form Mars or Venus, or Uranus if we have to. then we can shit all over this planet just like the fucking PIGS we are.

i feel like waxing philisophical so bear with me you fucking failed abortions.

why do we all seem to be drawn here? what is it about this place that makes us feel at home? why do i consider you assholes to be worth my time?

for me, it's the verbal sparring with guys like Bo, Thaddeus, Rollo, Tomlet that keep me coming back. but also the fact that we can have a GROWN UP ADULT CONVERSATION without (much) name calling.

the mutual respect we seem to have for eachother and our differing opinions seems to be a lost treasure in todays society. respect for one another in this country is nearly non-exsistent. here, though, on afuckin degenerate website, we seem to be able to handle ourselves like civilized humans.

i often wonder where i am going in life, what my purpose is if there is any, when i will die, and who will even remember me whaen i am gone. have i made my mark? what have i contributed to the human race? is this, what i am now, all i am and will be? i know i'm bummin some of yall out with this shit, but if you dont ever stop......and ask yourself these basic questions then......what is the fuckin point of you even breathing?

i feel i am better than most people. i dont think that that is a fault, i think that that sort of thinking makes me strive to be better than everyone else. to be better you have to believe you ARE better. do i look down on people who are obviously lesser than me? of course. do i shit upon them without care and with glee? FUCK NO. i have been that person, that guy in the gutter getting shat upon by passers by. as lord_infamous would say, i'm humble as fuck. i was humbled by my early experiences growing up and i have this thing that most americans are lacking called EMPATHY. 

fuck, ranting and preaching. you cock smokers dont wanna hear this shit.

i just got some free time on my hands i'm not acustomed to so i'm venting. and you fucks are my captive audience.

thanks for reading,

Bohank

life has been kinda boring for me lately. i havent posted a blog in a while mainly because i havent had anything remotly interesting happen in my life, so i decided that the most humanitarian way to deal with it was to not bore other people with my non-interesting shit (some of you assholes should take note....i'm looking at you, wallboy).

.

i'll be 30 on the 17th. when i was 23 i had the most certain feeling that i was going to be dead by my 25th birthday. dont know why, dont know how, but i just knew so to me everyday past my 25th b-day has tere an extra day. just one more day i shouldnt have had.

rumor is my unit will  be deploying to Afghanistan sometime in the next year. thats really gonna fuck up my college education.especially if i get killed.

why does this sound like a suicide note?

ever want  to shoot someone  just to do it? i want to, but i dont think i would react in an appropreat manner.like i might yell "the price is riiiight!" after i  blew some random dudes brains out of his skull.

you know what this country is running low on? rational thinking. we cant buy that from the chinese, we gotta grow that right here. is it gonna happen? fuck no it wont. i'm tellin ya, ladies and gents, we are watching the country crumble and fall down around our ears. this place has turned into some Salvidor Dahli mutated version of itself.

i would run for office in my state, but you have to be rich just to run for local positions. or know people. or have some rich person back you, and then what? then you owe that motherfucker because "he got you where you are today". we are dysfucnctional as a country.

gaddamnit. politics. i dont wear underwear, i love not wearing em too. i mean, my dick just swings and it feels liberating!

sorry for ramblin, i told you mouth breathers i had nothing to say.

go fuck yourselves. i love y'all. now suck my cock.

i have reached the beginning of the pinnicle of uselessness. i went from enoob to user yesterday. i celebrated by throwing up in my own mouth and then watched Beaches on tv. then i threw up in my own mouth again.

hello, everyone, my name is AWFULJACKASS and i am a user. i have been a user for about a year now. i used before, but it was only occasional useage. like at parties or when i was bored. then one day i decided to become a full time user and opened an account with the dealer ebaum. of all the things i liked to indulge myself with , the new blog section really hit the spot. it took me to another level that commenting on the feture page just couldn't reach. you mean i get a WHOLE FUCKING PAGE TO RANT AND SPEW MY FILTH ON?!?!?!?!? from then on i was hooked.

i also have been known to use the blog section as my own little fountain of inspiration as i am about to do right...........................NOW!

i need help guys. i need a topic for my persuasive essay course. it must be pin point not broad like government or pollution. this is like a debate on paper and i need to be able to squeeze it into a 4 to 6 page essay. i'm really drawing ablank here and that is rare for me. oh, and per professor requests, no religious or current political shit cuz they are too hard and conveluded to be condenced into what she wants. 

thanks assholes. remember I'm a user. and you all love it.

i went outside today. rainy and cold, i drove to my local Sam's Club to buy a bag of buffalo wings. they were good.

as i drove to that shining monument to American greed and gluttony to buy my unneccicary food, i had another break from reality. it's hard to explain. it just feels like people arent real. i stare at people and i am sure i look quite insane when these breaks happen.

pink globs of goo. like a movie going on and everyone i see are extras in the movie that is my life. strange strangers in a strange land.

my sons football team lost for the first time last night. rain and cold and mud and sweat and tears. real football for real men.....well, for 10 and 11 year old men that is. they beat themselves. cant win a ball game when you miss tackles and fumble the ball.

i really need to get a job so my mind is occupied more. me having time to think is a baaad thing. my newest obsession is this 2012 bullshit. i'm strange and different though. i'm not afraid it will happen.... i WANT it to happen! this would be the great equalizer, my friends!

i already despise and loathe most of the general population, so becoming the leader of a Mad Max style gang of murderers and misfits ravaging the countryside in search of gasoline, food, and pussy would be a great job for me. plus i want to wear a mask made from steel and hate.

go Cowboys.

i know this seems long and without a point, but there is some good shit here

noigraud:

to start off, i'm 5'9" and weigh 190 pounds of not-so-solid muscle. i can bench like 260 lbs. so i guess i am kinda strong. like that shit even matters.

i usually get told i "seem big" and not in the bedroom where i want to hear that. my attitude has gotten me into and out of many fights. mostly out of them because i have, literally, only been in about 8 fights my whole life due to an argument or other kind of confrontation.

i WAS a red belt in tae kwan do when i was younger. i could nearly do complete splits and was a force to be reconed with on the sparring mat.

now i  can barely touch my toes without my back popping like bubble wrap.

what does this have to do with anything?

nothing. just gotta chest bump cuz everyone else is.

lookin around for a topic to write on i found this absurd gem:

He can explain that three of the touchdowns came on returns. And that a blocked punt brought a fourth.

He can offer that his team threw just one pass in the second half. One that was played with backups and with a running clock throughout.

He can even reveal that his team lost to this very opponent just a year ago.

But in a high school landscape increasingly aware of sportsmanship issues - one where quick harsh judgments are made based solely on a score - Chaminade-Madonna football coach Tim Tyrrell knows he has a tough time explaining how his Hollywood, Fla., team rolled to victory over Pompano Beach last week.

83-0.

"We only had one real drive; the rest came on short fields."

The Lions scored on a blocked punt, and two interceptions directly set up short touchdowns. Then to open the second half, senior Demitri Beal took the kickoff back 99 yards.

The defense also forced four more turnovers on the night.

The question then becomes when is enough enough? Chaminade-Madonna tied the Broward County record for margin of victory, a mark first established in 1951.

Gary Pigott, the senior director of athletics for the Florida High School Athletics Association, said there have been rules changes to help reduce the scoring opportunities - and thus avoid games such as these.

"About four years ago we switched from an optional running clock to a mandatory running clock for the mercy rule," Pigott said.

"It used to be optional, and the team who was behind had to request the clock. Some coaches thought that signified that they had given up on their team. We wanted to take that ethical problem away as best we could."

Pompano Beach coach Greg McGirt, reached by phone this week, did not want to discuss the game.

"I don't really want to talk about it,'' he said. "You might want to talk to my athletic director."

Athletic director Vince Stevenson didn't return phone calls.

A parent of a player, however, was more than willing to share his thoughts.

Ray Foster, whose son plays for Pompano Beach, said it was embarrassing to see his son's team beat by such a wide margin.

"I am sure we take it harder than they do," Foster said. "But it is humiliating to read the box score; it just doesn't seem right."

And that may be for parents on both sides. Foster said parents of the Chaminade-Madonna team - sitting close by at a field that had just one set of stands - did not applaud their team's final scores, the last of which came in the fourth quarter.

Tyrrell, in his second year as coach at Chaminade-Madonna, said he has to do right by his team.

"I can not tell kids who do not get a chance to play to go in and not try,'' he said. "To not get better. To not work hard."

And Tyrell points out all his starters were out of the game at halftime, following a 42-point second quarter.

"If I pull my first team too early they will not be ready for the games that are coming up on our schedule,'' Tyrrell said. "It is my job to get this team ready."

That schedule includes perennial power Miami Monsignor Pace and 2008 Class 2A state runner-up Miami Gulliver Prep.

Last season Monsignor Pace bettered Chaminade-Madonna 41-0, and four other schools also broke the 40-point barrier against the Lions.

It was something Tyrrell said his team had to learn from.

"We had a lot of tough games, but we have to learn to win or lose with class," Tyrrell said.

"Whether we are up 60 or down 60 we have to work hard. We have to coach hard."

That may be easier said on the plus side of the 83-0 score.

And as Pigott points out, "What goes around comes around."

i dont get it. since when did winning become such a bad thing? since when did we have to take the loosers feelings into consideration during an athletic matchup? i wouldnt have apologised for my team winning by 83 points. shit, i woulda been happy! thats the whole point, right? score more than the other guy, beat his ass into a bloddy quivering mass of fail. pussification. a lack of drive is one of the problems our country is suffering from. a drive to be better, to beat others and feel good about it. the fact that everyone seems to think the winning team should be apologetic for winning in such a dominating way makes me sad.

hey guys i was wondering if y'all could help me. yeah, i know, asking ebaums users for help is like asking a parapalegic to run a 3 legged race with you, but i am drawing a blank here and figured you guys could AT LEAST get my gears moving.

i have a paper i have to write for my writing class. it is our final and is due on saturday at noon. double spaced, APA format, college level writing (like you guys give a fuck). it has to be an informative essay with a minimum of 3 pages and references.

i just cant think of anything interesting to write about. scrach that. i cant think of anything interesting to write about that is APPROPRIATE for the class. so i was wondering if y'all could throw some suggestions at me in the comments.

i fully expect the full level of jackassory that is ever prevalent when someone asks a serious question, but with so many teachers here i figured i would navigate the minefield of asshole responses for a possible gem.

oh, and, rockface..................I SHOULDA BEEN FIRST!

   i walk 5 miles a day. sometimes with a 60 pound ruck sack, and sometimes just with 5 pounds of water in my Camelback. five miles is a bit to walk if you've never walked it. it is very cathartic; giving you at least about 2 hours all to yourself to think, dream, argue, or work out problems with yourself. the route i take goes down past my kids school, past my old middle school, down to the I-820 bridge, up the access road going west, back over a bridge going across I-820, back east on the access road and back towards my house. my re-occuring fantasy happens after i pass over the bridge and start going east on the access road.

   if you look up as you are passing over the bridge, north, you will see an exculsive area set aside off the interstate that is the home of many millionaires. it rests on a small mountain (a mountain for north Texas that is) and contains many houses priced over one mil plus. this community has groundskeepers, gates, security guards, and the police show special interest in keeping these citizens especially safe.

    heavily wooded, this particular area would be perfect cover for what i want to do. lots of trees, vines, high grass overlooking the busy interstate. it wouldnt be too hard to sneak over the fence and get a nice vantage point from one of thoes million dollar homes back yard where i could set up. i would obviously have to murder everyone in the house that i have picked out. cant have anyone screwing up my plans, lol! nightfall would be the best time, but daytime would suffice if the timing was right.

   i could easily hide my high powered rifle with scope in some bushes nearby with other materials in a camoflauged bag like a flashlight, rope, tape, big butcher knife, and a silenced 9mm. at night the access roads see little to no traffic and no one would pay attention if i had to stop on the side of the road. i could return later, acting like i was on my normal everyday walk that i take and impliment my plan.

     in my rucksack, i could hide my camo suit and face paint. quietly sneak over the low fence with my rifle and materials and make my way into cover to change and paint up. after i am done getting ready, then make my way up the steep side of the hill and into my designated backyard. i would prefer to find someone home because if someone is home the alarm is less likely to be on and the doors unlocked making my job that much easier. taking out the rich, over confident inhabitants of the house shouldnt be too hard.

     slithering in unannounced, i should be able to get the drop on them and the first deaths that day would either be at the end of my blade or from silenced nine. i would then make my way back outside to my position overlooking the interstate and from there begin to pick off drivers. as i begin to pop unsuspecting motorists and watch their cars, trucks, and SUVs careen out of control and smash into oncomming trafic or the guardrail resulting in mass confusion and complete anarchy i know a smile would be forming.

  can you imagine the chaos? the obscene ammount of death? that would put a kink in the day of the motorists along I-820!

this is just a story, people. i really didnt think about it that much.

just read all their comments and blogs.

they just beg to be hated and reviled.

i have no respect for them as a humans or as a living organisms.

even though i dont agree with many things that rollo, bo, or ihavenolife say they are at least intelligent enough to be able to hold a coherent and on topic discussion without resorting back to being a bumbling retard that has lost his helmet and drool bib.

at no time during your rambling and incoherent comments am i even close to being swayed to think of you as anthing more than a mindless zombie intent on just following the leader without so much as a question why.

i find blind following to be a character flaw; a trait that makes you not worth of voicing your opinion. an opinion which is so obviously swayed by party rhetoric that it no longer make it an opinion, but a fact to you in your made up fantasy land that is in your head.

so go ahead and continue to idolize your parties leaders.

your lack of individual thought makes me sad.

i have been waiting and waiting for a fellow service member to point this out, but no one has. for all the nay sayers and fear mongers out there saying that government run healthcare will not work or will severly hinder our care giving abilities i got some news for you: the U.S. already has socilized healthcare! GASP! we do?! who are these communists?!? who are these socialist assholes that  are obviously dying in the streets because of a lack of propper care? well......the United States Armed Forces thats who.

the program is called Tricare and covers all branches of the military. it is a kind of hybrid plan using the best ideas from the british and canadian healthcare plans. the plan allows you to go to government run health care facilities (hospitals) and doctors as needed or to private practitioners and then reemburses you for any out of pocket expenses. it works people. even at its lowest approval rating (80%), it was higher than any other system of insurance in the private sector. by the way, this was during a time when the Bush administration was underfunding VA and Tricare by billions leading to horrifying backlogs and heinous conditions(see: Walter Reed Medical Center). as much as many of you dont want to admit it, socilized medicine works. Tricare has been rated the insurance plan with the highest customer satisfaction for six years running.

i dont know about you guys, but i dont want to be saved from government run healthcare. it is working just fine for me. and if it is so bad why dont we do away with the militarys version? well because if you did you would have a shitload of pissed off soldiers at the steps of congress breaking down the door.

the capitalist healthcare system just doesnt work. healthcare run by money doesnt work. pharmasudical advancement driven by a profit margin doesnt work. healthcare should have been the sacred cow that wasnt touched by capitalism. money has distorted and contorted the actual goal of doctors from trying to heal people to trying to become rich.

Tricare would be the golden standard to go by in my opinion. why has this system not been tapped as the way to go? i have a clue and i bet you do to. the drug companies and insurance companies would surely loose their collective asses if we were to go to a plan like this. this is the major roadblock to real healthcare reform. 

greed is serving judgement over your sick grandmothers, not a ficticious death panel.

blame the real evil people here: insurance companies and drug manufacturers.

i don't really like clowns. they aren't funny at all. matter of fact they are the red headed bastard disfigured retard of the comedy world. they do, however, do one thing right: they scare the shit outta children and adults alike. have you ever met someone who has said this:

"Oh, golly gee! The circus is in town and i can't wait to see the CLOWNS!! they are sooo FUNNY!!! they make me LAUGH SOOO HARD!!!"

my guess would be no. now i know for a fact everyone here DOES know someone who has said this before:

"Oh, fuck man. the circus is in town and i will shit my pants if i see any CLOWNS. the are soo fuckin CREEPY! they make my INSIDES CHURN WITH FEAR AND ANXIETY!!"

and if you hang with strange and disturbed people (like i tend to do) you might hear this:

"Ohhhh, MAN! guess what? the fuckin circus is in town!!! i can't wait to FUCK one of them CLOWNS!!! they are sooo fuckin SEXY!!! they can make me CUM SOOO HARD!!!

yeah. that's what i said. crazy. clowns can make us feel angry, happy(doubtful), horny, or fearful. what the fuck was i talking about again? if you had sex with a clown could you be considered fuckin funny?

and what the fuck is the deal with "crumpin"? so you put on clown make up and break dance? and that is cool now? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? i think i feel it.......old. i feel the old creeping in. i found myself yesterday on the front lawn, in my tighty whiteys, shaking my fist at teenagers as they drove past. and i was wearing a clown mask. and i was hard.

i have been doing a lot of math here recently. college math. online courses in algebraic equasions and all sorts of other fucking math shit that i dont like. this plus this.....this SHIT about health care and the inability of anyone to pull their head out of their ass for about 5 fucking seconds is tiresome. maniacs screaming about death panels, what is the value of x, democrats dragging their feet, republicans stomping theirs in a tantrum, if you left Detroit on a train at 9:45 am traveling away from that third world city at 85m.ph. how long would it take you to get to Washington D.C to assassinate the senator from South Carolina keeping in mind you will be stopping for x amount of breaks, FUCK, and i'm watching the history channel all at the same time.

Inglorious Basterds is comming out soon and i cant wait to see that......Killin' Nazis....lol that makes me laugh. did y'all know Brad Pitt is an athiest? learned that the other night after watchin him on Real Time. smart guy, smarter than i thought he would be at least. and before i get shit on by ihavenolife or rollo for watching Bill Maher, i dont agree with everything he says and he seems too liberal at times for me. yet he is definately no Glen Beck or Hannity, thats for damn sure.

when did we all become so boring as to debate legislation all the time on here?? ebaums is now the home for politicos wishing to blog about their distain with the current, past, and future administrations? i admit, i have spurned on some ignorant debates here (euthanasia and it's benefits, why rape is good, ect.), but now it seems to be all we talk about. have we all become this lame? or all of us this worried? so worried that we shun or obvious tendancies towards debauchery and outrageousness that we then turn our energy to becoming rational, thoughtful beings that debate in somewhat civilized tones on the current days events?

i am lumping myself in here too, people, so dont go telling i'm the pot callin the kettle black cuz i know i am. we all bitch about the good ol' days and how they will never come back. well, i have actually seen many people here from them old days around here and feel that those days are here again.

rambling blog continues to ramble........wouldnt it be crazy if ancient aliens visited the earth? that our civilization was seeded by an alien race that has been watching.....waiting for that time when they were needed again. kind of like a scientist with bacteria in a petrie dish, watching them through a microscope flourish and reproduce until they are at the point of overflowing the dish.

i have a blackjack 2 phone and i like it's abilities, but it fails to deliver on the multimedia side. i can download movies, but they play very choppy and are very shitty looking on the screen. i kinda want an iphone, but i dont want to loose my qwerty keyboard. the touch screen keyboard is shitty at best. this is just one of the things that keeps rolling around in my brain.

sundays............i got homework to do. fuck. i wanna see a spaceship. i love summer! i love the heat here in texas. i would love for it to be hot all the time. in the high 90's or hundreds everyday. at the rate we are going i might only have to wait 10 to 15 years and i will get what i want.

thats it. im finished. if you got this far you probably need a hobby.