http://www.ebaumsworld.com/Bender Latest media uploaded to eBaums World by Bender en-us Mon, 13 Oct 2008 18:10:28 -0400 Mon, 13 Oct 2008 18:10:28 -0400 969491 Mon, 29 Sep 2008 22:32:07 -0400 Added: 2008-09-29 22:32:07
I was bored and made this weird vid with peoples avaters.Hope you enjoy it. ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/969491/ Rob Zombie I was bored and made this weird vid with peoples avaters.Hope you enjoy it. 761865 Tue, 15 Jul 2008 19:28:55 -0400 Added: 2008-07-15 19:28:55
The Best Avaters on Ebaums World! ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/761865/ Sweet Avaters! The Best Avaters on Ebaums World! 754113 Sun, 13 Jul 2008 21:36:20 -0400 Added: 2008-07-13 21:36:20
The Best i've seen ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/754113/ Coolest avaters The Best i've seen 471684 Sat, 31 May 2008 17:00:57 -0400 Added: 2008-05-31 17:00:57
He will kick your ass behind the saftey of his moniter. ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/471684/ sausdogg7 He will kick your ass behind the saftey of his moniter. 471671 Sat, 31 May 2008 17:00:34 -0400 Added: 2008-05-31 17:00:34
He will kick your ass behind the saftey of his moniter. ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/471671/ sausdogg7 He will kick your ass behind the saftey of his moniter. 467909 Fri, 30 May 2008 17:14:43 -0400 Added: 2008-05-30 17:14:43
An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Your Loving Husband. P.S. Sure is hot down here. ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/467909/ Typo in e-mail address An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Your Loving Husband. P.S. Sure is hot down here. 467320 Fri, 30 May 2008 12:33:02 -0400 Added: 2008-05-30 12:33:02
A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porno theatre to see it. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise. The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M and even a dog. After a while, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music." "Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog." ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/467320/ Admiring own work A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porno theatre to see it. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise. The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M and even a dog. After a while, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music." "Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog." 467314 Fri, 30 May 2008 12:29:23 -0400 Added: 2008-05-30 12:29:23
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but the light bulb has to WANT to change. ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/467314/ short joke How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but the light bulb has to WANT to change. 467305 Fri, 30 May 2008 12:26:46 -0400 Added: 2008-05-30 12:26:46
On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. "Oh, oh, aaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture." Puzzled she asks, "my picture?" He answers, "yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever." She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "why do you wear a robe? We are married now." At that the man opens his robe and she exclaimes, "oh, oh, my, let me get a picture." He beams and asks, "why?" She answers, "so I can get it enlarged!" ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/467305/ First night On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. "Oh, oh, aaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture." Puzzled she asks, "my picture?" He answers, "yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever." She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "why do you wear a robe? We are married now." At that the man opens his robe and she exclaimes, "oh, oh, my, let me get a picture." He beams and asks, "why?" She answers, "so I can get it enlarged!" 467289 Fri, 30 May 2008 12:22:56 -0400 Added: 2008-05-30 12:22:56
1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never 4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always 5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended 6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee 7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no 8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound 9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be 10 classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be 11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be 12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be 13 executed as soon as possible. Addendum: That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines. ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/467289/ the perfect employee 1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never 4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always 5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended 6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee 7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no 8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound 9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be 10 classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be 11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be 12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be 13 executed as soon as possible. Addendum: That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines. 467103 Fri, 30 May 2008 11:42:52 -0400 Added: 2008-05-30 11:42:52
What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back. ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/467103/ . What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back. 467099 Fri, 30 May 2008 11:40:01 -0400 Added: 2008-05-30 11:40:01
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation "I now pronounce you man and wife". ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/467099/ lift a curse An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation "I now pronounce you man and wife". 467092 Fri, 30 May 2008 11:34:42 -0400 Added: 2008-05-30 11:34:42
Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For her birthday, I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way, if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still love me because she got a diamond ring." As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, "For my wife's birthday, I'm going to buy her a designer dress and a gold bracelet. This way, if she doesn't like the dress she will still love me because she got the gold bracelet." As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, "I'm going to buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way, if she doesn't like the T-shirt she can go fuck herself!" ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/467092/ 3 men were drinking........ Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For her birthday, I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way, if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still love me because she got a diamond ring." As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, "For my wife's birthday, I'm going to buy her a designer dress and a gold bracelet. This way, if she doesn't like the dress she will still love me because she got the gold bracelet." As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, "I'm going to buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way, if she doesn't like the T-shirt she can go fuck herself!" 467081 Fri, 30 May 2008 11:31:34 -0400 Added: 2008-05-30 11:31:34
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalogue. ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/467081/ . How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalogue. 467075 Fri, 30 May 2008 11:29:35 -0400 Added: 2008-05-30 11:29:35
Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/467075/ no Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad