*this is the introduction to the novel I have written, be brutally honest with what you think*

Foreward

  If this were a movie, the script would read something like this;

Opening set, empty playground.  A haunting string melody scrapes the audio track.  Lazy pan in to see a male teenager sitting on the swings.  The time is 8:30am and there is just a hint of the oncoming sunrise washing the ground in a surreal reddish orange haze.  The youth's body is hunched over, although he is motionless in the swing itself it's easy to see from the tension in his position that great things roil within him.  His stare is toward the trees across the way where the leaves look red in the gathering sunlight.

  Okay maybe not, but it would make an interesting opening scene nonetheless would it not?  Some guy sitting all alone on an empty playground, staring out at the leaves on the trees that are still green but look kind of red in the light, hinting toward the fall that will come and take them away.

  I like to think of my life as scenes from a movie, although I'd have to say it likely wouldn't be a very interesting one.  It's in the wording of the scene where I can make anything seem important.  I can paint my life with a whole different pallet than the one I use in the real world.  I don't want you to think I'm all depressed or anything, but how many people do you know that can say, "Yes my life would make an entertaining movie."  Not very many I would guess.

  We all have our moments, our shining glimpses of the good, the funny, the touching.  Where we brush up against something greater than we are, and you feel it; you can almost reach out and grab it.  You sit there and figure "if I could just bottle that feeling, or capture it somehow, to share with the world, I would."  Happiness, Love, Sadness, Despair, it really doesn't matter, so long as it's heartbreaking, uplifting, visceral, or intense, and people can relate.

  What good is a story if it doesnt move you beyond your normal everyday life? Where nothing truly amazing or incredible happens and you move onto the next blank slate trying to make the colors pop just a little. Wondering why certain people sit on top of what looks like all the happy in the world.

  I brushed up against something earlier today that took me by total surprise.  It's the reason I'm here. It's the reason I'm pouring out like this, it's the reason I'm sharing it with you

  You see I'm not what you'd call popular.  I'm not a guy who's into sports, or cars.  Women seem to ignore me completely.  I have a great family, both parents are still together and happy, and a little sister who I try to relate to, but she's hit that age where she knows I'm not in the "in" crowd, and treats me accordingly.

  We've lived in the same house for as long as I can remember; a modest 4 bedroom house at the bend of a small street of modest 4 bedroom houses, in suburbia.  Green carpet on the floor of my bedroom, beige tones throughout the house.

  It's almost funny because the houses on the street were made from only 4 sets of plans, and although there is a little variety in how often each house comes up, it's pretty obvious that there are only 4 repeated over and over.

  As a kid I remember several things about this street; the grass was always that color of green that speaks of health even if there is a brown spot here and there, the sky was a light shade of blue usually with a couple wispy clouds darting slowly across. There were several trees which was great cause they gave us plenty of places to climb or hide behind as kids, and we had a huge open field with a small playground in it where the neighborhood kids would go to play baseball or just run around the playground playing park tag or some other game we'd come up with that day.

  It might have had something to do with when the houses were built, but they are all different earth tones.  Mostly greens and browns, and they tended to melt into each other and the surrounding area.  It's almost as if this area learned to live with the world instead of being forced upon it.

  You didn't think about those kinds of things as a kid, but it was something that you tended to know, in the back of your brain you just knew these things.

  This is of course where I met her.

  Yes, you knew it was coming, there had to be a her right? All the best stories have a her, if you hadnt noticed.  Hell I'll go so far as to say there isn't a good story out there that doesn't have a her.

  I'm going to do my best to remain a little detached here, because up until about 6 hours ago we were friends.  The thought of being more might have passed through my mind as something that would be cool, but Id never taken seriously.

  We were inseparable as kids, right up to the age when people start to establish who's interesting, and whos different.  Beyond that we were still friends but not in the same way.  Lets just say my type of interesting isnt everybodys cup of tea.

  This inevitably brings me back to the party and the events of the last 24 hours.  I made a play for what I wanted.  For the first time in my life I truly rolled the dice

Personal Essay: Falthor Longhand

  Its interesting how the world reveals itself to those who are in it.  Theres a construction worker who is hard at work hammering away at the cement sidewalk with his jackhammer, there is the teacher standing at his pulpit leaning down over his students as he decrees his mind to them.  Then There is the writer, The writer who sits at the keyboard and types himself into perfect oblivion, if only for a short time.  Through his characters and stories the writer transports all of himself through to another world in which his is the character or vice versa, the doorway is there for anyone to use, it stands open, and inviting.  Anyone can enter, if they have the determination to try hard, and the will to step through into the world of the imagined.

  A game on the internet, a required persona to be created, and the birth of a new life.  But for want of a name, what to call this mighty slayer of foes?  The name Falthor Longhand springs to mind, bringing with it a picture of a blond norseman, long flowing beard hanging down to his stomach, two handed sword slapped across the worn back of his clothes.  Muscles ripple slightly as Falthor smoothly reaches up to hold his broadsword out in front of him, challenging those around him with his stare, and the glint of his blade.  What of his past deeds?  Falthor Slayed his father as a child after watching him brutalize his mother.  He is the man who rid Maldonia of its tyrant dragon Bloodclaw.  He single handedly overthrew the wizard Moligar.  He is an upholder of good and justice, everything that I am not.  And with that the keys start to bang Falthors story, name, and past into life. 

  A fitting place to be born, the net is.  It gives one the ability to create any world possible to imagine in the words and pictures you send through the computer to those around you.  Falthors first view of the world, and my first look through his own eyes ended in tragedy.  I recall chatting amiably in the room.  Sitting at a table with a frothy mug of Ale in front of me, as I chatted with Sir Daniel.  It seemed as if Sir Daniel was on a quest to rid the world of a troublesome foe, the mighty Tim-E.  Sir Daniel told harrowing tales of immortals beheaded, and then laughed at, such a severe breaking of the code of ethics.  The door stood open the whole time, and let in the trash of the next generation of fighters.  Tom Fearer sliced Falthor down in the chair he sat, even before Falthor could draw his sword.

  It was an awakening experience to know that a character of your own making could die so easily, With no input from myself.  It seemed that I had made some enemies already in the game as well.  What could be done to change the situation though.  Tom Fearer roamed the outer reaches, slashing and terrorizing the net-based world with his sword, and the power of many immortals.  Falthor was reborn in the guise of a long lost and misrepresented god Skuggblatt.  Under his new guise Falthor strode forward into the world of the microchip, and radio-wave .  The hunt was on.

  A cyber-based vendetta?  Would anyone ever believe such a thing possible?  I knew it in my heart, and in my brain that this is exactly what was happening, I had grown accustomed to Falthor.  He seemed a presence in the back of my mind, a gentle reminder of the things that I was slowly becoming through the actions of my character.  Then that same character was cut to shreds, and the tatters returned to me to piece together once more.  Falthor had never been perfect, he was as close to what I think of a perfect was however.  Tom Fearer must be taught to see the world through tainted eyes as well.

  The chase lasted many weeks, for Skuggblatt could not challenge the all-mighty Fearer until he himself was equally powerful.  The trail lead to many stops both in the Net-based world, and the IRC based world.  It lead through hordes of devoted followers of clans, and lead to the destruction of the same clans.  Many head hung from Skuggblatts belt by the time his worn and tattered cloak was dropped to his feet before the prize holder, Tom Fearer.  Many of those heads belonged to the self same creator of the powerful immortal, and we both knew that this would be a great fight for the two of us.

  The fight was long and drawn out.  It seemed that neither fighter could seize an upper hand, neither could Jeppy, the main watcher himself, decide the outcome of the fight.  I remember inhaling my breath in a steady stream the next day as I opened the E-mail box, and saw the message there regarding the outcome of the cataclysmic battle.  I remember wishing that I had not left Skuggblatt to fend of the mighty Fearer.  There had been nothing to do though, as my earthly body was tired, and I could not stay on-line forever.

  The message told a tale of both fighters being wounded and having to disengage from the battle.  Both however were not telling the truth, as Tom Fearer turned on the unprotected back of Skuggblatt only to find his sword knocked down, and thrown aside.  Skuggblatt had won the fight, and had taken Fearers power under his wing.  Falthors cry of rebirth from this dark and destructive  battle was rung out across the net, each pulse of it coming from the page that bears his name even now after he has faded into the shadows of the realm of information. 

  Falthor is me, and I him.  We are one, bound together to live out our existence in the real, and net-based world alike, only switching control of the reins every so often to make sure the right thing is done, and the wrong things punished.

  Do you know that feeling?  You know...  That feeling you get when you know you've had a good workout.

  You're not sore, but tired.  Youre not tight yet, the muscle is actually loose and a little unresponsive.  You're not cramping, and you just have that hyper awareness about yourself.  You know what it is you've been doing, and everything looks better.

  I've missed that feeling a lot.  6 months due to the afore mentioned stray needle incident (see my last blog) that I couldn't return to Wrestling school and get a good workout, and seeing that money was the way it was I didn't have a gym membership anymore even if I could have found the time to get there.  Right now I can feel that lax looseness in my shoulders and Chest, and I know that I'm in trouble because tomorrow I will likely get the tight ripping pain that comes with a really truly good workout, and I have a transport truck to help upload tomorrow.

  So be it.  It was more then worth it. 

  This whole 6 months I've been sitting back wondering if I was done with Pro-Wrestling.  It only made sense, I know I'm not going anywhere, while i have the talent, I'm too old and i don't have the right body type to make anything of myself in this business of 6'4" 260 4% body fat muscle freaks who couldn't work their way out of a paper bag (see that "Working" is what we call having a good match and making people suspend their disbelief and just enjoy what your doing to entertain them.).  I have a new baby...  15 months now, and very little time to do anything other then work, come home and watch him.

  It was a tough decision to actually go back to wrestling, but it was the right one, no doubt in my mind.  I crave the limelight, I crave to be center ring where people are booing and snarling at me.  I crave that attention, and more then that I crave to entertain people, it's what I do, and it's what I enjoy.

The Master of Jay-Do has returned.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

  Okay I know you guys pretty much all know I work in Windows and Doors for the local re-seller of Andersen Windows and doors.  Ive worked almost my entire work history and career in Retail, for whatever reason Im actually very good at dealing with people and helping them out, even if I hate every second of it usually.

  One of my biggest pet peeves is people who dont listen to you when you tell them something.  God knows its my job to make sure you get the message, but if you come in and say, order and window, and we tell you it should be in around the 15th of April well call you when it gets here, I think that sends a pretty straight forward message dont you?

  It means that your window will be here, at the earliest on the 15th of April.  If not I will likely call you on the 15th to tell you that your window is not here, and that I will be in touch when it comes in.  Once again I would assume thats pretty straight forward right?  Makes good common sense in my mind, and I would believe in anyone elses.

  So tell me, why do I end up, 9 times out of 10, receiving a call from you on the 13th asking if the window is on track?  I really dont know were not shipping by UPS or Purolator here.  Andersen has a transport division which handles specifically the delivery of windows and service parts to dealers like mine.

This is where I start to get annoyed with people.  Can I call up Andersen and see if the product is where it should be?  You bet I can.  Ever wonder how long a phone call for that purpose takes?  About 30 to 45 minutes.  What answer do I get?  Their on time and should be at your place on the 15th.

  Andersen ships their products the same way every time, and even uses the same drivers, so unless theres something major like an earthquake, tornado, flood, or serious accident on I-75 or something your windows will be here on or around the 15th damnit.  NO Im not making a call to Andersen Logistics to confirm it considering all they can tell me is that they are on track, no position, not how many times the driver has taken a shit, not even the amount of times hes pleasured himself as he drives his rig across country for you.  Oh yeah, and they contact me IF he falls behind ANYWAYS, like just about EVERY Logistics company in the world would, as they lose money when they are late, or the longer it takes to deliver something.

  Now we are finally at the day of Arrival, and other then the fact that you called and wasted 30 to 45 minutes of my time on the 13th, everything is going fine.  The Van (we call 53 tractor trailers Vans for some reason) has arrived, and we spent the better part of 3 hours unloading all the windows by hand.  Now I have a MOUNTAIN on paperwork to go through and contact all the people who have had product come in.

  I literally have at least 50 to 60 orders on my desk that I have to sort through and see who we can contact, who we can setup deliveries with and the approximate time we can deliver those things, as well as the people whose windows we have to do Build ups on or Jamb to fit the walls in their houses.

  So you call me again.  IS my window there.  Pretty sure it is, but I havent even had a chance to sit down and start getting through this paperwork.  I will call you when I know for certain that your window is here and we can setup delivery or pickup at that time.  Have I mentioned that likely you havent even paid for this thing yet?  Doesnt it follow that if you havent paid we want to get this sorted out and have you come in so we can get paid for this product sooner rather then later?  Then why the hell do you feel the need to call me 8 times to see if I found the paperwork yet?

  Fast forward a day, Im still trying to get through the paperwork, as I was sidetracked by about 100 things yesterday, as this is the busy season for builders, BTW anything from Spring right through to snow being on the ground is the busy season just FYI.  I have not had a chance to get to your window to make sure its here yet, Hence why I havent called you yet.  Your response?  Calling ever half hour and leaving no message when I dont pickup.

  I know Im pretty mean by not picking up the phone, but I make it a rule that if Im helping someone out in the showroom I dont answer the Phone.  These people DROVE all the way here to talk to me, you only picked up a phone, sorry.

  Then again if you had just been patient I was getting back to the paperwork as Soon as I was done with the people in the showroom.  But by calling several times now you have stretched out their time in my showroom as I have to discuss with them why I dont answer the phone EVERYTIME you call.

  Chill the fuk out I will call you if your window is here.  Is that so hard to believe?

Judo Ontario telling me that I needed to stop practicing Judo came as no surprise to me. The fact that they tried to play it off like I never renewed my membership license or the school itself was a slap in the face from a governing body out to protect itself. I got in touch with them as quick as I could, it took well over a month to finally get to talk to or have Joe LeStrange return my phone call. After asking him about the letter he told me that it was a standardized letter they send out to anyone who hasn't renewed their membership, funny but parts of it were handwritten.

Joe told me the worse thing that I could hear at that point, because of legalities I was going to be stopped from competing, teaching, and even learning Judo until after this whole lawsuit was over to protect Judo Ontario from more lawsuits.

I need to state something here, the people who were involved in the lawsuit were; Chester Lam and family (the sue'ers), The university of Windsor (Cause it happened there), Myself (For negligence), Sensei Ron Hammel (dead at this point, also sued for negligence), Jeffery Piasic (for actually breaking Chester's neck), and Judo Ontario (for allowing an unregistered club to operate Judo in it's jurisdiction). For differing reasons it would be a matter of first finding out who was at fault, and then secondly finding out how much each party at fault would be.

Judo Ontario took the stance that since they were being sued, no matter how stupid and frivolous the lawsuit was, and since I was the source of this lawsuit in their eyes, that I was a danger to them. I discussed this with Joe LeStrange pointing out that I was desperately trying at this point to get my Black Belt, and that any kind of setback would be disastrous to me. Joe Said that the Judo Ontario Lawyers said that any actions I might have in the Judo world would reflect on judo Ontario (pretty obvious), and to minimize the chance of negative possible feedback on this source that I was to be banned from performing Judo until the trial was over. When I asked him how long until the trial he let me know that it probably would be about 3 or 4 years. I restated my quest for a black belt to him over the phone to basically deaf ears.

In going over all of this I have come to a couple conclusions, some on my own, and some with the help of others. Judo itself wasn't what I was chasing all those years; this is probably the most profound thing I figured out in all of this. I was chasing after that place that I used to belong, that place where I had felt like I had a second family. I was chasing the place where I fit in, the place where I had learned to like myself again, and finally the place where I had been happiest in my life. The other really important thing I realized was that no matter what I tried to do, or say, that I wouldn't be getting back to that place in Judo (that time had moved on) and for the current I became a symbol to the Judo Community at large of what can go wrong.

I saw a picture on the internet not to long ago, and laughed my ass off at that time. It was a spoof of those inspirational posters you see everywhere, you know the ones with a single word, a picture, and some inspirational passage underneath. The one I saw was "mistake" the picture was a sinking oil tanker, and the caption was "maybe the whole reason of your life is to serve as a warning to others." It was damn funny at the time, but strikes a bit of a deeper chord with me now that I think about it from this point of view. How could I have expected Judo Ontario to let me continue practicing Judo, I was, please forgive the flowery imagery, the albatross around its neck. I was a constant reminder of a problem that wouldn't go away even after it had in fact gone away. They would be talking about the error of a Judo Student having his neck broken at Schools all over the world as a reminder of what can happen if you don't know what you're doing, and it happened in Ontario under Judo Ontario's watch. I'm sure they would have liked me just to give up, and I did, but not right away.

I'm sure I could have been a hell of a lot nicer to the Judo Ontario people, but to me they were the bad guys at the time. I don't make an excuse for what I said or did, I did it, I'm not proud of some of the things I said, and I understand why judo Ontario was even more reluctant to help me. Being a pain in the ass never helped anyone, unless they were a bad guy in the WWE or something. My Dad always used to say you attract more bees with Honey then Vinegar, and I wish I had been paying attention at that point. Oh well water under the bridge.

Somewhere in here things started to take shape for the trial that I knew was coming. I hadn't been served with my summons yet, but that was basically a formality at this point. The one thing I did get that really set my mind to whirl was a statement taken from the Tripp academy in Ohio. The Tripps are a well known Judo/Ju-Jitsu family in the area, hell I even fought one of them before in a match where I was thrown on my head and feared that I had a concussion afterwards (never did get that checked out, but I did loose patches of my sight for about a half hour that made me late for work). The Prosecution (Chester's side) had written to them for clarification on the rules regarding a non-black belt running a Judo School.

The Tripps, sorry can't remember which one had written this diatribe, put out the fact that Judo Schools could be run by non-black belts, but only in the situation where there wasn't a single black belt in the area that could teach the school. I have two problems with this. The first is the simple fact that there wasn't another single black belt in the area that would have taught at the university, Sensei Hammel had burned a lot of the bridges I ended up burning. The second and more important point is that the Tripp academy is governed by the USJA (United states Judo Association) a completely different governing body then Judo Ontario, or it's main body Judo Canada. Although they both ultimately come under the Kodokan (the Home of Judo in Japan) for rulings, they both have differing rules. It's my understanding that they wrote to the Tripps because no one in Canada had ever invoked the Non-Black belt rule before, or at least not in such a situation, and no one had a clear understanding of how it worked. As the governing body of Judo in Ontario this was Judo Ontario's responsibility to make sure that clubs knew these rules, in fact I have read the governing rules of Judo and establishing a club in Ontario and until this incident Judo Ontario had no clear position on the rule as handed down from the Kodokan.

Kind of convenient for Judo Ontario that it could so easily invoke its own iteration of the rule after the fact and lock me out.

I forgot to mention this earlier, as it's not hugely relevant, but it does play an interesting part in this whole story. After the incident with Chester at the University of Windsor Judo club Jeff Piasic got in his car and disappeared into the states for over 2 weeks. It seems he drove down to Mexico, fearing that he might be arrested on criminal negligent charges. This was never brought up at the trial, not a peep of it. It was his right to do so I have no doubt but it does speak to the mindset he was in at the time, smacks of the guilt which anyone would have felt if they had meant to do it or not.

Anyways I was served somewhere near the end of that summer. It could have easily been a scene out of any movie where someone is served; it went down exactly the same way. I opened the notice and read the letter therein (well the important parts, the ting was like 45 pages). Basically it stated that I had been named in a lawsuit, other people named as above, by Chester lam and family. Chester lam was suing for $20 Million, and under Canadian law Chester's family was suing for an additional $5 million for loss of companionship. I found the wording kind of funny when I came out of shock. Chester wasn't dead but his family was suing for loss of companionship, very unusual wording indeed.

The letter put me in a state of emotional shock. I haven't fealty anything like it since, I basically walked around feeling hollow all day, wondering if I was going to be poor my whole life, or if they were going to end up taking my family's house, or all the things my dad had worked so hard to get for us since I was living at their house. 20 years old, wondering how my life came to an end, I probably would have considered suicide at this point, it wasn't that I felt bad I didn't feel anything and that was somehow worse, but I had a brush with it earlier in life and decided then and there it wasn't for me.

Life went on. The seasons changed, the interview continued, although a lot less frequent, until the point that I wondered if the trial would ever happen. I continued to work on Judo Ontario in an attempt to continue learning Judo and the pursuit of my fleeting ideal of a black belt. Which is to say a lot of nothing happened. In the middle I started to teach myself Guitar to take my mind off what had happened, and my increasing waistline which had been the reason I had started judo in the first place.

The only real important and significant thing to happen in this time that hasn't already been covered was Joe LeStrange's stepping down as President of Judo Ontario, and the appointing of a new President. Within days of learning of this changing of the guard (I had only made sporadic attempts to contact Judo Ontario in the intervening years, shielding myself from the pain I felt every time I was turned down.) I tried to contact this man. I made it through to him with relative ease and tried to talk to him about what had happened. I don't know if Joe had talked to him in the past and explained what had happened or not, what I do know is that this new president didn't take kindly to what I had to say.

I pointed out all the things I was told by Joe LeStrange and how he had in fact lied to me about a lot of things. At this point the president told me that Joe Lestrange was an honorable man who would never have done anything of the sort to anyone, and told me not to call back. I left it at that with Judo Ontario, and that is in fact the last time that I have talked to anyone from the Main office whatsoever.

As can be expected throughout this whole thing I went up and down the chain of command in the Judo world. I first contacted Judo Canada about this; they redirected me to Joe LeStrange (not a good one there.). Also out of desperation at one point I contacted the Kodokan, and was once again redirected to Judo Canada, who once again redirected me to Judo Ontario (Thanks guys). In a final attempt I sent out a 10 page e-mail to someone at Judo Canada about what had been happening between me and Judo Ontario, and that I had been shuffled around several times with no clear answers or results. This time I received an answer that they would look into it. I'm still waiting on a reply.

When the trial approached I had a very bad taste in my mouth I was sick of the whole situation that had been the undoing of my judo career, but there was more to come that even I didn't expect. I met with the lawyers on the defense side and went over a lot of testimony, and left that meeting seething in the back of my head, but happy it was coming to an end. It turned out that they were looking to play this thing towards Sensei Hammel being a scapegoat for everything and I being an unknowing accomplice, responsibility for this whole thing would be very minor I was told over and over. It didn't matter this was, like I said, the 4th year and I was ready to have this finished, I could also see a gold light at the end of the tunnel that might get me back on a judo mat.

What shocked the hell out of me was Chester's testimony. Chester had healed to the point where he could walk, very stiffly but walk nonetheless, and had motion over his right arm. Chester was no longer a quadriplegic and was on the mend, no one knew how far he would go, and this greatly diminished the amount he would be awarded, because at this point we knew he would be getting money just not how much, like I said though it was Chester's testimony that shocked the hell out of me. Chester was on record saying that I told all the students to stay and continue to practice Judo until 9 o'clock, which is the normal end of the class. He also was on record stating that I liked to teach dangerous and violent variations on the moves that are normally associated with Judo. That takes something that is mildly my fault and makes it squarely my fault, and puts words and deeds into my mouth. I will go on record to say that I have never, nor would I ever, teach a Judo class geared towards self defense, or make the movements of Judo more vicious or violent, it goes against everything the art is based on. Granted the Tokyo Police study Judo as a form of Self Defense and there are definite uses this way, but I knew that I didn't know enough to teach it this way.

I got the sense that it looked like Chester and his attorney were trying to make everyone look as bad as they could, and I can understand that Chester did in fact speak broken English but I never told those people to stay and, as he put it, keep continuing to practice dangerous techniques. I was told that in a lawsuit such as this the prosecution lists everyone they can possibly tie to it, knowing that they will never get the amount they are originally suing for, and name the others as sources to get as much money as possible. I was assured again by my Lawyers that I was at little risk, as they had my statement as well as statements from everyone in the class as to what happened and so far only Chester's painted me in a bad light.

I should have known better by now.

When the trial came I got a call from the lawyer, this is probably some 4 or 6 months after the final interview. I told him I couldn't afford the time off work, or gas money, or accommodations (they actually wanted me to pay my own way there and get a room in downtown Toronto.). I was told that the Lawyers would pay for the Room and Reimburse me for the mileage, but that I really needed to be at this case, and from a sunken spot in my stomach something told me I'd better be there too. Seeing as the Judo club was shut down I barely saw any of the students and had no idea what was going on with any of them, or if they had been contacted for the trial.

I went to Toronto and was vastly surprised by the room they put me in. It was lonely and dark, but nice. At the time I had been living with the woman who would be my wife, and missed her a great deal, knowing tomorrow was the trial didn't help that feeling much either, I couldn't shake the dark feeling hanging around me about the trial.

The next morning I got dressed and walked across the street to where the trial house was. I met my lawyer outside and talked to him about the case a bit. I remember I had to buy my own meals on this trip that was supposed to be paid for by the law firm, nice of them, and that I was in a little funk when I noticed that I was alone upstairs outside the courtroom. I asked about how the trial was going (they were in day 4 or 5 I think), and he answered that I was the last witness to be brought in seeing as Sensei Hammel was dead. I asked how it had been going, and was told that Jeff Piasic had built his whole entire case around the fact that I didn't tell him what was okay to use in Judo and what was not, this came as a shock to me, but like I said I should have seen that coming. I was told that Chester had lampooned me about telling them to continue class and that I had told them to do this before. I asked if Jason or Jonathan had said anything, and was told that they were never even called as witnesses.

Never called as Witnesses? What the hell was this crap? Chester's lawyer had called every Asian member of the class, who had in one way or another backed up Chester's story, and my Lawyer (yeah he was hired by the University and not myself so as I have said I should have known better) hadn't called a single witness to talk on my behalf or the behalf of Sensei Hammel? I'm sure that the lawyer saw the shock on my face because he hastily told me that everyone's testimony that wasn't called as a witness had been read into evidence. That all nice and everything but there's only so much that a neatly written letter can do, and no offense, but it doesn't come across as convincing as an actual person in the room talking it over.

I tried to talk to him again about what had happened to me in the last years with respect to my Judo career, to which he didn't even seem to care. I asked about the ban on me to perform Judo, and he finally took notice. It's funny cause I only mentioned this too him about 10 times over the past four years, but now he notices when were sitting outside the actual courtroom. He looks over at the Lawyer for Judo Ontario, and they talk a little, coming to the conclusion that since the trial was happening already that I should be allowed to continue in Judo and that he would get something from the president of Judo Ontario stating that I could in fact continue in Judo, and that Kayahara would not be included in the lawsuit (this was actually the one stipulation Kayahara put on me returning to the club, that I had it in writing that in no way would they be sued if I worked out there.).

I knew at this point that the Lawyers weren't caring about whether or not I, or anyone else involved were found to be negligent, but more about limiting the amount of money that would be paid out to Chester, leaving more people to hold the bag and more people to take the blame. Whatever the case I sat and read my book for the better part of an hour before I was called into the courtroom. I had once again gone over my testimony the night before so that I could be sure about the answers I was about to give. If there's one thing anyone should know about being in a trial it's to answer the question and the question only, when you expand on something it can be used against you if you use the wrong words, thank god the only times I expanded on something (as you can see from the length of this ramble I have a hard time not expanding on anything) it worked out okay for us, or then again did it? Who knows?

I took the stand knowing pretty much what was coming, a prosecution trying to make it look like I knowingly endangered Chester, and a defense lawyer who was more interested in containing damage then trying to prove that someone wasn't at fault. The question were pretty straightforward, and I remember there only being one time that gave my defense Lawyer pause, this being where I told the court that the bow out was a formal and world used symbol for official dismissal of a class. Beyond that everything went as these people thought it would as far as I understand. I went back home to Windsor and waited to hear something from the lawyers.

In the meantime I got in touch with their office to get re-reimbursed for the mileage that I had traveled, I actually faxed them copies of the gas receipts I had used going to Toronto. Very much Like Judo Canada I am still waiting for anything from them, and highly expect to never get anything even though it was about $80 in gas that I had been told I would be re-reimbursed.

The best part of all this comes about another 4 months down the road. You would have thought that the law firm would have been kind enough to call me and tell me what the results of the lawsuit had been, seeing as they were defending me and all, the obvious answer is that they didn't. Four or five months down the road I get a call from a friend, seems that I needed to see something in the newspaper. I'm sure you can see this one coming, right? I opened the paper to the page, and Lo and Behold, here a small 2 paragraph article stating the outcome of the trial that had been kept out of the papersfor so long.

In the end Chester was awarded 2.75 Million dollars, as I had coverage by the umbrella policy on my parent's house (5 million), and a liability policy at the university (13 million), as well as a secondary liability policy through State Farm (7 million) there was nothing to worry about financially. I knew this before I even went to the trial, but was still horrified to see that the University, Sensei Hammel, and Myself had been found responsible in the accident, Jeff Piasic, the guy who actually broke Chester's neck was acquitted of all responsibility in this matter. I guess personal representation goes a long way.

I was furious to say the least. I hadn't heard back from the Law firm, I had learned the results of the trial from the newspaper, and I had been found mostly responsible for this accident. It took a lot of self control to let it go and not write something to the newspaper about what had happened, maybe that was a mistake because it has eaten me inside every time I think about the fact that I was blamed for this, whether I had to pay a cent or not, I was considered at fault for something that I didn't do, that I didn't even know was my responsibility to do.

I attended Judo a couple of times at Kayahara before I saw this article in the paper. They were as good as their word, letting me back on the mat, but the class, and the sensei's were ice cold. I didn't feel like I belonged there and I felt they wanted me to leave sooner rather then later. I also tried Judo at another club, but it wasn't the same. I was so far out of practice that I didn't even want to think about trying to get back into competitions (the only way to get a black belt is to have enough points to test. You get points by beating black belts in tournaments, and teaching, two things I was too far out of practice to do I think.). Beating black belts for the precious points I needed to test for my black would have been hard enough before all of this started, but now after 4 years off, and WAY out of shape it was something I didn't want so much anymore. The sense of belonging was gone, the sense of family, and most of all the fun that I experienced on the mat. It was over for me, well Judo was at least.

Consequently all of these experiences, the good (which I might write about some day) and the bad have helped to shape my decision to try to move into Professional Wrestling, and the character that I intend to play therein. I'll talk more about that at another time though. I think this story needs to be laid to rest and a new can of worms opened up. For now I leave the idea of Judo behind, drained, but happy that I have told my side of the story finally. I don't know if this will ever be fully over for me, some part of me is likely to always think "what if" but that's the part I use to fuel the things I do now.

Alrighty... this is probably the part that sticks with me the most. Everything up to this point is a basic blur in my life I would say, with the finale coming after this all went down. The worse was yet to come, and of course a part of me knew that when I left the St Dennis Center that night, but another part hoped for a quick and painless end to this tragedy.

Now I know in the last post I made it sound like everything ended on that night in September, which isn't quite true, in some respects it just started there, but that was the thing that killed everything about Judo that I had loved.

I can remember going home that night and sitting in bed wondering what would happen to Chester. I know at least one person has posted that I shouldn't worry so much about this as Jeff and Chester were both adults, but I can't feel in some way that this was my fault as well. Deep down, on some level. Yeah I wasn't trained in the possible outcomes of legalities, I also never was given direction from the St Dennis Center staff who, like I have stated previously, routinely let people use the Multi Purpose room for all kinds of activities.

I mean if I had kicked them out of the room sure someone could have gotten the key, but they might not. It's this kind of thing that eats at you after the fact. I've gone through everything I could have done, much like that episode of 21 Jump Street Where Johnny Depp's character goes through the same thing. I can pretty much surmise anytime something like this has happened to anyone they pretty much do the same thing. In the end I can't really see myself at fault a huge amount even though I feel that I am a bit.

Now, after all that soul searching, life went back to normal. Well I guess sort of normal as I had interviews with Private Investigators from both sides of the coming lawsuit (the University and Chester) rehashing what I did in those moments. I even received a copy of my statement that I gave to the University guy with instructions to go over it before I went to trial, if it did indeed go to trial.

The club continued, Jeff and his friend were put on a permanent ban, after seriously injuring 2 students I wasn't about to let either of them back through the door. I found out through the grapevine that Jeff friend was a little upset about this and wanted to actually kick my ass if he ever saw me, and I guess it's a good thing I never saw him. Jason and Jonathan continued to go to tournaments and continued to go undefeated; I attended some mixed martial arts tournaments in Toronto, and one special tournament over in Michigan.

I'm going to take a quick side trip here to talk about this tournament in Michigan for a second. This has nothing to do with the lawsuit or anything, actually if the lawyers had known about it the result probably would have been a lot worse. The tournament was one I had gone to several times, it was sponsored by a 6th Dan (6th Degree Black Belt) Sensei Saito. Sensei Saito was very old school Japanese and an amazing teacher, to cap it off he was a very good guy as well. I had been at his tournament 2 times before with mixed results, and made sure I didn't miss it.

At this point I was no longer affiliated with Kayahara as a main club, although I knew that they would be there. I had no idea that I had crossed some invisible line at this point with them, but here was where I got my first taste. When I showed up at the tournament I was told that I could not participate because my Sensei had not signed the permission form, standard enough practice to make sure people don't compete in belt categories they really are not in. Lo and Behold the Kayahara crew shows up just behind me, I was talking with a couple people about what was going on, and one of them suggest that I talk to Sensei Bryce and a signature on my form.

Sensei Bryce was very hesitant to sign the release, stating that I was no longer part of the Kayahara club to which I replied, Sensei I never truly left Kayahara, my book might say University of Windsor Judo Club, but I'll always be a competitor and student of Kayahara. Begrudgingly Sensei Bryce signed the form so that I could compete. At the time I didn't put two and two together to realize what had just happened.

Being 19 years old, and a little mixed up in the ways of the world I had always assumed that I was going to be a part of the Kayahara judo club no matter where I was training or teaching. I see now that this was a bit of a chess game between Sensei Hammel, and Sensei Mike from Kayahara. Sensei Hammel had always been trying to get Kayahara to share their money with other local clubs in the spirit of "judo" and friendly competition, and I guess I fell in there in that way. I could have taught at the university without getting my Brown Belt, I could have taught at the university without officially leaving my home Judo Club, no one told me this and it didn't occur to me to think otherwise. I can see now what I did and how it upset people, but at the time things were a lot different and I couldn't see how they were that upset with me since I was still in my heart a Kayahara student. Hell I didn't even care so much about getting my brown belt, I mean it was a thrill and all, but the real reason I got it was because Sensei Hammel wanted me too.

I need to do quick explanation of what I knew at the time and what I know now as well. At the time it was explained to me that if a black belt was not available to teach a class, and there weren't any others available, a non backbeat could be sponsored to run a school and teach a class. This is normal, but the wording to which it was put to me led me to believe that everything was fine. In all actuality the rule is something more to the lines of "If there isn't' a single other black belt in the area capable of teaching". So I guess in this light my school was running outside the regular rules without my knowledge, in fact Sensei Hammel was still in charge of the club even though I was running the day to day.

Anyways back to the tournament and the real reason I included it in this post. I think it was my second match, and this is a lesson that everyone needs to learn, that I broke someone's arm. In Judo like I said you can win by throw, Tapping someone out from an arm bar, pinning them to the mat, or tapping them out with a choke. I've always fancied myself a bit of a submission fighter, feeling more relaxed and fluid on the ground then anywhere else, and I fought this match with that in mind. At one point I remember going for a choke and the guy actually throwing me to the ground with his hand fisted in my throat. I shook it off, must have been jazzed on adrenaline because I didn't even feel it. When we came in at each other again I took him down for a koka (a point that really doesn't mean much of anything in most Judo Matches), but it put him into my realm, the mat. Still not sure exactly how but I ended up with a Straight Arm Arm bar. Now it's a commonly known rule in Judo that if you pick your opponent up off the mat any hold has to be let go, so picture this I'm slowly applying pressure to his elbow in the wrong direction, and he's fighting it off as long as he can. This puts some serious strain on the arm, but I knew right away what he was trying to do, so I beat him to the punch. Much like Royce Gracie in UFC 2, I stood my body up onto my shoulders and head, extending my body up his arm before he could lift me. This had two effects, the first being that I bought myself a couple of seconds before he could pick me up, and the second, which negated the first by the way, a very disgusting crunching sensation from the arm I was holding.

Feeling this I didn't even wait for the ref to call the match or the opponent to tap, I rolled off him as quick as I could, standing and walked back to my line. I still don't know what happened behind me, if the ref checked on the guy or the guy tapped or what, but before I made it to the line the ref had declared the match over and me the winner. When I turned back I bowed to my opponent and noticed that he was holding his arm closely to his stomach. I could hear people in the balcony asking what had happened, and a couple figuring that I had in fact broke this guy's arm.

I truly don't feel bad about this at all. Truthfully I caused this injury, and I understand that, but at anytime this guy could have just as easily tapped out and I would have released the pressure on his arm. In fact I was always of the opinion that unless it was the Olympics, sitting in an arm bar was useless and stupid, if it's sunk in tap, it's that easy.

I met up with this guy off the mat and apologized to him about his arm to which I received a "Fuck you dickhead" for my trouble.

Alright now back to the main storyline of things. Like I was saying before the club stayed open after this event, in fact I ran the club for another 6 months before everything fell apart, but it didn't take long for me to know it was coming. Within days I was told by Sensei Hammel that the University Of Windsor Judo Club wasn't even an actual legally registered judo club. This is HUGE, remember I told you about all the crap I've gone through over the years from Kayahara about leaving them, and I find out that I left them for a club that didn't exist and would not help me get to my black belt at all.

Here's where I hit my next bump in the road. My Judo License ran from august to august if I'm not mistaken, and it was time to renew my license so I could continue practicing Judo. Throughout this whole ordeal I had been in contact with then president of Judo Ontario Joe Lestrange, and he told me that if I submitted the documentation to re-register the Judo club under Sensei Hammel that everything would be fine. As well I mentioned that I would be sending my own personal registration in too and would be paying for it all with one check. Sending this information and the check off I figured everything would be fine and forgot about it.

Shortly thereafter I got back in touch with Kayahara. I was told by the people at Kayahara that the lawyers/PI people had been to the club to find out about my past and that they refused to have absolutely anything to do with me, etching, practicing, or sponsoring because they were afraid of being drawn into this lawsuit which had absolutely nothing to do with them.

That hurt more then I think I've ever let myself believe. Remember like I said I wanted to be at the Olympics someday, Coach, Ref, Competitor, whatever and I saw myself doing it in Judo cause I loved the sport so much. I had been given a couple months by Judo Ontario to get a black belt sponsor to step forward, and my home club not only said no we wont sponsor you, but also, don't ever come here again we can't afford to be drawn into your lawsuit. Not to mention that I had to call them about 30 times before I got a response from them.

Sensei Hammel died somewhere in here, can't remember exactly when, but he was dead before I got my reply back from Kayahara. I went to the one other place I could think of for a sponsor, a man named "Bill Thompson" whose son had been a bit of a Judo Prodigy and had also broken off from Kayahara to start their own Judo Club together. He wouldn't touch the sponsorship with a ten foot pole, but he would at least let me continue at his school.

This is when I got back to the school registration, and contacted Joe LeStrange about this, he told me that Sensei Hammel's signature would be good for the rest of the year even though he was dead, but that Judo Ontario was holding the registration until the investigating was done to make sure that the club was safe. I let Joe know that the club was in fact still running, which he said was perfectly fine, and then further inquired about my own personal Judo License, I don't think I ever got a straight answer from Joe about it.

Early the next year (remember by this point were into 1998) I received a letter from Judo Ontario stating that since I had never renewed my membership, nor the schools membership that I needed to stop practicing and teaching Judo

Alright another cut off everytime I think this is over it just drags on and on more to come

*Ebaums cut off the end of the last Blog...  so here it is quickly*

  Chester was lying on the mats, unfortunately someone had already put something under his head, which was more then likely the worse thing anyone could have done in that situation and I would say we were very lucky Chester didn't end up dead from this.

  You need to understand that Chester spoke broken English, so it was tough to gather what had happened. I did the normal tests, pinching his palms and feet, he told me he could feel it but it felt weird.

  Somewhere in there another student Jonathan had run to the front to summon an ambulance, and he returned. I started asking about exactly what had happened, and pieced together a pretty good idea from Jeff and everyone else. When the paramedics arrived they preformed a lot of the same tests I had on Chester, and came to the same conclusion I already had, severe neck trauma possibly a break. I was hoping against hope that it wasn't the break it turned out to be. Chester isn't someone I would call a friend or anything but I didn't hate him either.

  They took him away and that is the last time I have ever seen Chester Lam. At the time of the accident Chester was a quadriplegic, with no motion from the neck down. The last I had heard Chester had 70% control of his right arm and was even walking with the use of canes or a walker.

  I guess I'm not finishing this tonight like I thought but will have to continue this another time as I run out of time at work to continue this. I'm going to warn you, I'm pretty sure the next chapter of this little story, covering what happened after, the trial, and how I was treated by the Judo Community at large, will be vastly negative and angry, it's still a sore spot with me to this day.

  Until I get a chance to continue have a good one guys.

Alright, so I've made the 2 biggest mistakes in my judo career ever: Signing off from my main Judo Club and Showing up with my newly awarded Brown Belt a week later. But everything held together for quite a while past that point. The Kayahara People Led by Sensei Mike, and Sensei Bryce were still very nice to me, and helped me out a lot, allowing me to continue to train at Kayahara when I got a chance to get there. Allowing me to hang out and feel like I was still part of the team at Kayahara, I even thought about some kind of a joining of clubs or something seeing as I wasn't collecting money for the university club or anything anyways.

We had some good talent at the university; they had gone to competitions here and there and were undefeated in tournament play, almost 100% taught by me. I guess that shows that the saying is true, though who can do, those who can't teach. But let me paraphrase something here, I'm not so sure that I couldn't compete in the Judo world, I think I have a much deeper rooted issue at work that makes me not give 100% on the mat.

I'll probably talk about that some other time as that's a column all to itself. As I was saying the class size at the University was about 8 or 9 people, nothing too big allowing for a lot of personal attention between student and teacher, and I have been told by everyone involved that I did in fact do a phenomenal job teaching while I was there.

While I was teaching judo I had also dabbled into other Martial Arts at the University, Ju-Jitsu for a year (would have loved to take more but Sensei Mike Pisano finished at the U of W and moved on), and Aikido. It's funny because the night of the end of the University Judo Club we were actually sharing the room with the Aikido club. It was September, sometime in 1996, not too cold outside, the ground was frozen but there wasn't any snow. I guess nothing was too out of the ordinary. Before I get into the big incident that basically ended my Judo career let me give a little background.

The class before the big day we had a new student come in. I can't remember his name off the top of my head but he was a complete shit head. He had a background in Amateur wrestling, and firmly believed in the policy of Power over technique. I literally almost kicked him out of class several times when I was trying to demonstrate something with him, and he resisted as if we were actually competing. Something tells me he was actually trying to make me look bad, but I have no idea why.

I had taken over full instruction duty of the class about a month before hand and was running this class without Sensei Hammel nearby; in fact he was at home getting ready for, or recovering from, his quadruple by-pass. Being a tolerant person I put up with this dick heads antics figuring someone with an amateur background would be a good addition to the class, injecting new techniques. As that class came to an end we decided to do some ground work (basically the wrestling part of Judo).

Normally New students on their first day are not allow to participate in this for their safety, and I remember the guy asking me very nicely if he could try this since he had an amateur background. I let him, and before the class was done he had dislocated someone's shoulder. Performing a routine flip this dickhead pulled the arm against the body then drove into my student with all the force he could muster burying his shoulder into the matt and dislocating it.

I talked with him after class about how he had acted and how we wouldn't put up with that sort of behavior from anyone, and we left it on that note. Now I realize that's kind of a light slap on the wrist, I mean he just dislocated the guys shoulder right? But the thing is that this is Judo, where we pick people up and purposely slam them down on the matt, you win by inflicting pain on a joint until the guy taps, or the joint breaks (doesn't happen often but it can happen). This isn't a sissy sport.

I talked with the injured student as well and he re-assured me that everything was okay and that he wasn't upset over what had happened. Now fast forward 3 days to the Thursday class. Sensei Hammel was there (he must have been recovering from the heart surgery before come to think of it) to collect dues, and get liability waivers signed. Talk about irony, Chester Lam signed his liability waiver before stepping onto the mat that night, as did the unruly student from last class, and the friend he brought with him Jeffery Piasic.

Sensei Hammel left shortly thereafter, tired out from the paper collecting. Class actually went very smooth, no big issues I had Jeff and his friend practice together (this was something I had discussed with Sensei Hammel) seeing as they were both bigger guys and both had the "amateur" background. Nothing too huge.

I had a bunch of homework, and actually wanted to spend a little time with my girlfriend at the time Lori, so I called class about a half hour early so that I could do those things.

Heres where things started to go all wrong.

The doors to the multipurpose room in the St Dennis Center were never locked. I had even been there during the day in-between classes to practice Ju-jitsu in front of its mirrors, as well as using the room to film some Judo throws to help students learn the proper way to do them.

On this night in question we also had another class running on the other side of the room (there was a divider between classes.) We did the formal bow out and dismissal for the class, everyone bowing to me and to the front of the class, where in a normal Dojo there would be a picture of Jigoro Kano. This is a signal that the class is over.

As I was leaving the class a couple students asked me if they could use the room some more. I told them straight out that I had no say in that, but if they did they were on their own and had to clean up afterwards. Probably not the best thing to say I know, but in the situation even if I had locked to door anyone could have just as easily gone a gotten the key at the front desk.

I can only put together what happened in the room from the accounts I've heard, as I was in the bathroom changing when all of this went down.

AS far as I understand it Chester Lam, an advanced student who had recently achieved his orange belt, approached Jeff Piasic and asked him if he would like to do some ground work. They went at each other for a couple of minutes until Chester ended up on his hands and knees with Jeff Behind and on top. This is a hugely common position in Judo and Wrestling, and also the point where everything went wrong.

Jeff went on record later that night saying that he went for a chin pick, trying to turn Chester Lam onto his back by rotating his head around. It's almost funny but at the trial 4 years later that isn't what he said happened, at the trial he said that he was reaching for Chester's Gi (or the collar of it to be precise) slipped and grabbed his chin on accident and yanked.

Here how I think this happened. Jeff is riding Chester (that's what you call this position) and he's trying to get Chester to either flatten out or turn over so he can pin him. At the time Jeff is controlling Chester by weight alone, and he grabs Chesters Jaw from overtop of his arm. Pulling as if he's just grabbed his arm I think Jeff never thought that a move like that could do damage to someone, not realizing it only take about 20 pounds foot pressure in a rotating manner to snap someone's neck.

I was in the bathroom changing into my street clothes when Jason ran into the bathroom telling me that Chester had been hurt bad. I don't even know what I thought at first, I mean this is Judo, people do actually get injured quite a bit, lots of broken limbs, and yes there had been some deaths in the past from broken necks, but on the top of my head I figured Chester had a broken arm or leg.

As I walked out of the bathroom I heard Jason's father say "He's not moving" and I started to hightail it.

Originally posted September 1st 2004 on LiveJournal

Judo is a way of life.

That isn't how I planned it, or how I figured to start out, but it is how it ended up. Like I said in the past I originally joined Judo because of a weight problem I still deal with on a daily basis. At the time I was in High school, the end of a lot of jokes since I wouldn't stand up for myself, and I think "Pleasantly Plump" would be a good way of describing me.

I remember when I had done Karate in my past, and that it had always been a good workout and made a conscious decision to try some martial arts as a way to improve confidence and my physique at the same time. Flipping through a local Newspaper I saw an ad that would change my life...

"Kayahara Judo Club, 3 months $20"

I nearly shit myself over the price, I was expecting $25 a month or so for some form of Karate or whatever, and had little to no idea what Judo was, but I figured for that price I'd definitely give it a try. I called up a good friend of mine (still too scared to try something alone by myself) and Chad and I ended up going down to try things out.

Now let me explain something to everyone out there that might or might not have an idea what Judo is about. Judo literally means "A Gentle Way" when translated to English, it's actually a sport and a martial art that was designed by Professor Jigoro Kano as a way to have sporting competitions using Ju-Jitsu, but taking the more brutal aspects of the art out. Judo in and of itself consists of throwing techniques, Arm bar Techniques, Choking Techniques, and pinning techniques. There is no striking in Judo, nor are there any leg bars, or knee bars, except at high ranking levels.

The first couple of classes in Judo are a pure torture of boredom. You have to learn to fall without hurting yourself (yes there is a proper way to fall, and No Pro-Wresters fall a little different since there is give in what they fall on). Meanwhile as you learn this (picking up bruises) you have to watch the rest of the class practice throwing each other around. And of course there's getting used to the workout as well.

I was a pretty fast learner, and the workout got to be easy. I think in my first year I was 3 belts up, or so, and began teaching the new people how to fall properly, as well as their first throws/Pins. This was a bit of a sticky point in the trial that was laid at my feet (this is the trial that ended my Judo Career, Chester Lam VS University Of Windsor Judo Club). I first started teaching the new student when I was only an orange belt, and of course the general view on the Martial Arts world is that you need to be a black belt to teach.

Things at Kayahara couldn't have been better though. We had a good group, some of which I got along with, some of which I could ignore, and being the biggest Non-Profit Judo club in the area we had plenty of money to go to competitions. There was a period of about 3 years where every other weekend I was out of town at some tournament or another, having the time of my life. The best experience I had was being at the US National qualifiers knowing that the 4 people I knocked out of the tournament would not get a shot at the Olympic team this year.

That being said let me explain a little more. While I have always been good at testing in Judo, and demonstrating, as well as teaching the techniques, for some reason when I get on the mat I just don't have that "killer Instinct" that is such a necessity in being a judo Practitioner. My medal collection only holds 1 Gold, and it's probably the medal I'm most ashamed of, seeing that I outweighed the guy I was fighting by about 40 pounds. I do hold a slew of Silvers and a tone of Bronze though. Like I said I wasn't the best practitioner and if I beat those guys at the US Nationals they definitely didn't deserve to be thought of for the Olympic team.

My judo career taught me a lot about team work, and for the first time I truly felt like I fit in somewhere other then with my friends playing video games (something else I used to be very good at). The Kayahara team was more like a second family to me, parents, friends, teachers, pricks; it was like a big dysfunctional family. That's why it hurt so much when they turned on me, or at least I feel they turned on me.

Basically I made it through 3 years and I was a blue belt, starting at the University, this is where I probably made one of the biggest mistakes of my martial arts career.

At the time I was still doing judo 3 times a week, I was in good shape even if my physique didn't quite reflect it, but because of classes at the U it was getting harder to get to Kayahara on a regular basis. I decided I'd try out the University club, and was surprised to see Sensei Ron Hammel was running this club. I had known Ron through his past dealings with Kayahara, and found him to be a nice enough guy.

I started going to the University club more often seeing as I could just hang around campus with my Gi until class started, rather then drive home then go to LaSalle to go to Kayahara.  In fact I tried to continue going to both schools for about 6 months before I made my main school The University of Windsor Judo Club. Sensei Hammel was not in good health and he had me teaching, and assisting throughout the entire time.

My ego Stroked by the teaching responsibility I made fewer and fewer trips to Kayahara until the point where Sensei Hammel asked if I was ready to grade for my Brown Belt and take over running the University Of Windsor Judo Club full time. Of course I wasnt going to say no, I had a flare for teaching, and loved the position more then I liked the competition aspect of the sport.  I have always been drawn to training and teaching positions, I am still surprised to this day that I didnt end up as a teacher after my education.

Sensei Hammel asked me to get Kayahara to sign my black Book (something we use in Ontario to keep track of our licenses and schools) saying that I was a full time student at Kayahara No Longer. This was probably the biggest mistake I could have ever made in the sense of my current spot in the Judo world. Sensei Mike (Kayahara Top instructor) caught wind of this and assumed that I had turned my back on Kayahara, the fact that Sensei Hammel graded me for my brown belt added another nail in the coffin, and of course showing up at Kayahara with my brown belt on the following week was probably the second stupidest thing I ever did in connection with Judo. Un-meaning too I had trample all over a lot of peoples feelings, and they would more then repay me for it.

I think Ill leave off here and finish this up at another time Have a good one guys.

Originally posted on Livejounal:

Thu, Aug. 26th, 2004, 09:03 pm

Why Judo Sucks. Alrighty then...

So who am and I why am I here? Well the real name is Jason. The name of Falthor is something I made up a long time ago for an online game I was playing, and no it's not "Falchor" the luck dragon from Never-ending Story.

So Anyways, I guess you could say I've lived a lame life doing lame shit day in day out for a long long time now. I was the guy who got beat up in school, I was the guy who was in band, writing stories, and pretending that the fact that I was a virgin at 18 didn't bug me... Yeah I was that guy. The emphasis on WAS. When high school came to an end I'd had about enough of people spitting on me and took my life into my own hands.... being a fat white guy at that point didn't help me out much though.

Halfway through High school I started doing some Judo, trying to get in shape originally, and then because I liked the people I was around. So I get rolling doing some Judo at the U... actually teaching for a while, and WOW I get some respect.

I am to understand that by leaving my Home Judo club in LaSalle and training people at the University that I ticked off some of my Sensei's in LaSalle, but rather then tell me to my face, they pussied out and I didn't find this out until much later. Yippee Ha ha Wee! What fun.

Lo and behold, within weeks I'm on the other end of a $24 million dollar lawsuit cause some idiot decided to keep doing judo after I dismissed class. I mean I don't know if I can explain this to you or not, I had hopes of being at the Olympics, if not as a Judoka, as a Judge at least or possibly a coach, and this idiot makes himself into a quadriplegic and sues me.

Within a month my registration to the governing body of Judo in Canada is Denied, My school is shut down, and my home Judo club wont touch me with a ten foot pole, afraid of being dragged into the crap I'm going through. At the time I didn't know that these pricks were pissed off at me for leaving their club to start with, but what a shitty thing to do. I spent 7 or so years training there, and helping to train people there, and when I get in a bind everyone pissed on me.

To top it all off the head of Judo Ontario, at the time "Joe LeStrange" lied to me on several occasions about re-instating me to active Judoka (you have to be licensed to practice Judo or at least to be able to go to tournaments which you need, or needed, for your black belt). Then a new prick steps up to take over and refuses to believe that Joe LeStrange ever did anything of the sort for me.

So basically 1996 to 2000 I am pretty much banned from practicing the sport I was looking to make a future in, and ostracized by the judo community at large. Pissed on, thrown out, and getting fat while I learned to play guitar for something to do. So here we are now... 2004 and yes I can become a judo student again. I'm actually allowed now, but why the hell would I want too? I'm still not welcome at my home Judo Club; I'm still not welcome to participate in tournaments.

I mean seriously people I was found guilty of playing a part in this guy having his neck broken when he refused to leave class after it was dismissed. And that is why Judo sucks... not the art per say as I still use it to my advantage in the pro-wrestling ring, but my experiences in Judo.

  Alright this has a little back story.  So September of 2007 my wife and I are sitting on the couch watching a Movie at home.  Nothing crazy or out of the ordinary as far as we knew.  Something catches my attention out the window, and I notice there are tonne of police lights flashing.  You have to understand that the front of my house has a nice picture window in the room that we call our living room and I can see the street from there.  It also happens that I parked my car right out in front of my house that night, and when I looked closer at my car, I noticed a pile of glass on the ground by the front passenger door.  When I come out of my house I run into the police right away and let them know that it's my car that's been vandalized.  Basically Joseph Ian Hanlon, whom I have never met face to face as far as I know, had been at first trying to pry my door open with his fingers.  Someone saw this and called the police right away.  A couple minutes later he got bored of pulling on the top of my door and got a rock to throw through the window.  The police had shown up less then a minute after the rock went through the window and grabbed Joseph.  The damage to my car was a window, paint damage to the door, damage to the bent door frame (he actually bent the door out about a half an inch), and the rock struck the console inside and tore the top off of it.  When I got the car repaired the bill was $850 of which my deductible was $800, nice of my insurance company for setting me up with a vanishing premium and not the $500 deductible I asked for (PC Financial Insurance, underwritten by Scottish And York).  Long story shortened, Joseph told the police that he did in fact break the window because I had given him a ride and he had stuff in the car and had no idea what house I'd gone into.  So he out right admitted to damaging the car.  Now to the court case.  The first court date was literally less then a month after I had started a new job, and I felt bad asking for the day off, but I did anyways, feeling ti was my duty, even if I hadn't seen anything.  Originally the case was supposed to be at 10am, and we all hoped I'd be back for work in the afternoon.  This didn't happen.  The case wasn't heard until 3:30pm, and I never made it back to work that day.  To top it all off Joseph didn't even show for the case.  The Judge summarily charged him with the offense since he didn't even have the decency to show up for the case, and said everything was over and done with.  Wouldn't that have been nice?  About a month later I got served again for the case, and asked if I could produce documentation showing how much and what damage was done to the car.  I supplied the bill from Marcel's and left it at that.  I guess Joseph's attorney got the judge's decision overturned somehow and we were goign back for the trial again.  The second tiem I needed to take a day off work was January 2009, can't remember the exact day.  This time I took the entire day off to be safe.  And lo and behold, Joseph didn't show AGAIN.  The Judge once again charged Joseph and issued a warrant for his arrest, AGAIN.  I just had a policeman serve me to come to court YET AGAIN for this case.  Seriously WTF?  I've already taken 2 days off work and this dick hasn't shown up yet.  What makes anyone think he's going to show up this time?  and even if he did HE ALREADY ADMITTED TO THE DAMAGE!  why is this so hard to work out?  I am now done ranting...

  Having one that is being sent away for repair I can honestly say I have never seen a game system that is more fraught with problems.  I wish that the PS3 had been cheaper so I could have bought one.

 You want to know why they call it a 360?  cause when you see how shitty it is you do a 360 and walk away.

  Seriosuly now.  I have no problem with someone taking over the site, although I might say that their tactics were pretty crappy. 

  But naming yourself realebaum when everyone knows that Eric Bauman was fired and is no longer running the site that is named after him is lame.

  IN his own blog talking about what has happened here at ebaumsworld he even states within the first 4 sentences that he is not Eric, even though he feels it's a great username.  Is he fooling anyone?  or is he even trying too. 

  How about coming out from behind your crappy attempt at misleading the masses and letting us know who is really driving the ship here?  You talk to us as if we're all loyal users and use that Placating tone, but I'm sorry I'm calling Shenanigans.  Are the Real people in control of the site going to show up?

  Which brings me to the site name.  This site of course since it was made by one Eric Bauman, and he is a certifiable ego maniac, was named after said site creator.  Why on earth would you want to keep the name of the site if it referes to someone who is making a rival site as we speak?  Why not hold onto the domain and set it up to point somewhere else, change the site name and graphics and there you go.

  Sorry there's just too much lame going on here.  Anyone else feel the same?

Dean Beeby
CREDIT 1--> THE CANADIAN PRESS
ARTICLE CONTENT -->

OTTAWA – Researchers say they have located the world's oldest stash of marijuana, in a tomb in a remote part of China.

The cache of cannabis is about 2,700 years old and was clearly ``cultivated for psychoactive purposes," rather than as fibre for clothing or as food, says a research paper in the Journal of Experimental Botany.

The 789 grams of dried cannabis was buried alongside a light-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian man, likely a shaman of the Gushi culture, near Turpan in northwestern China.

The extremely dry conditions and alkaline soil acted as preservatives, allowing a team of scientists to carefully analyze the stash, which still looked green though it had lost its distinctive odour.

"To our knowledge, these investigations provide the oldest documentation of cannabis as a pharmacologically active agent," says the newly published paper, whose lead author was American neurologist Dr. Ethan B. Russo.

Remnants of cannabis have been found in ancient Egypt and other sites, and the substance has been referred to by authors such as the Greek historian Herodotus. But the tomb stash is the oldest so far that could be thoroughly tested for its properties.

The 18 researchers, most of them based in China, subjected the cannabis to a battery of tests, including carbon dating and genetic analysis. Scientists also tried to germinate 100 of the seeds found in the cache, without success.

The marijuana was found to have a relatively high content of THC, the main active ingredient in cannabis, but the sample was too old to determine a precise percentage.

Researchers also could not determine whether the cannabis was smoked or ingested, as there were no pipes or other clues in the tomb of the shaman, who was about 45 years old.

The large cache was contained in a leather basket and in a wooden bowl, and was likely meant to be used by the shaman in the afterlife.

"This materially is unequivocally cannabis, and no material has previously had this degree of analysis possible," Russo said in an interview from Missoula, Mont.

"It was common practice in burials to provide materials needed for the afterlife. No hemp or seeds were provided for fabric or food. Rather, cannabis as medicine or for visionary purposes was supplied."

The tomb also contained bridles, archery equipment and a harp, confirming the man's high social standing.

Russo is a full-time consultant with GW Pharmaceuticals, which makes Sativex, a cannabis-based medicine approved in Canada for pain linked to multiple sclerosis and cancer.

The company operates a cannabis-testing laboratory at a secret location in southern England to monitor crop quality for producing Sativex, and allowed Russo use of the facility for tests on 11 grams of the tomb cannabis.

Researchers needed about 10 months to cut red tape barring the transfer of the cannabis to England from China, Russo said.

The inter-disciplinary study was published this week by the British-based botany journal, which uses independent reviewers to ensure the accuracy and objectivity of all submitted papers.

The substance has been found in two of the 500 Gushi tombs excavated so far in northwestern China, indicating that cannabis was either restricted for use by a few individuals or was administered as a medicine to others through shamans, Russo said.

"It certainly does indicate that cannabis has been used by man for a variety of purposes for thousands of years."

Russo, who had a neurology practice for 20 years, has previously published studies examining the history of cannabis.

"I hope we can avoid some of the political liabilities of the issue," he said, referring to his latest paper.

The region of China where the tomb is located, Xinjiang, is considered an original source of many cannabis strains worldwide.