A long time ago I claimed my first "erep prize" A $100 American Express gift card. After waiting months on end, I questioned "Bug" or AKA Kellie eBaum's "girlfriend", who reluctantly told me that they were no longer offering the Amex gift card however I could receive the new prize in it's place a Amazon gift card. I reluctantly went w/ the Amazon gift card & here it is almost 2 yrs later, & I still never received anything from this website. Now during the past two years I have heard of legal troubles, hacking, & eventually the selling of this website to new owners. I have repeatedly tried to contact them regarding this matter & have never received a response. Currently I am talking with a attorney friend of mine who has agreed to file a suit against the former & current webmaster for the breaking of legal obligations & terms of agreement. At this time we have also found out that Eric or "ebaum" has quite a few lawsuits already piled up against him for copyright violations. I would like to know of all other eBaums members who have legitimately not received their claimed prizes. All claims will be investegated, so please don't waste our time w/ falsified claims. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I think it is about due time that these people be held accountable for their shady, and unprofessional policies.

Recently, I was strolling through the groups on eBaum's World and found some of the wackiest and funny ones and wrote them down.

They are as follows:

I want to talk like the Dazzler

Ever wonder what phrases like "Hey Hey fecker, what's the craic?" means. Do you think ShellyDazzler sounds fucking cool, but can only understand about 2/3 of what she is saying? If you want to learn to talk like the Dazzler, join this group.

P.E.N.I.S.

People Eating Nugets In Spain: Have you ever eaten a chicken nuget in Spain? CLICK HERE!

The Average Dick Club

For those with just enough to satisfy but she will still leave us for a black guy.

the white people

for all white people who get afraid when it's just you and a black guy on an elevator

Fuck You Grammar Nazi

Fuck you guy who thinks a grammatical error necessitates a correction comment. This is eBaum's world, and these are comments about meaningless shit. Next time I write for the New York Times you can pick apart my grammar. But here it's my right to type THERE whether I mean THEIR or THEY'RE or TIRE IRON. No commas? No problem. I don't even have to use spaces if I don't want to.

Help RJ lose his vriginity.

This is a group dedicated to help RJ step, act like a man, and finally get some action. This will be a daunting task,...however our members will never cease in our effort to help RJ lose his virginity.

chicken pimp

if u's a chicken pimp get yo ass in hea. Or if you have ever worked or if if you've eaten there

The Burt Reynolds Association

We are a group dedicated to the manly man in all of us, and who is a better role model of manliness then Burt Reynolds himself. Join our group and indulge in the awesomeness that is to be...Man...

TOP KNOTCH GLAMOUR CHICKS/ NIGGA

IF YOU KNOW YOU HOT THIS IS THE GROUP FOR YOU

No Ma'am

For motherfuckers who don't bleed between their legs

Self administered felatio

Are you happy with your pastime or do you think it sucks

Alcoholics Unanonimous

Those Who Prefer To Tip Back The Bottle

People Who Love Drugs

This is a group for people who love getting lifted. High as a witch doctor. Doesn't matter the poison. Pot heads can join too. A BETTER WORLD WITHOUT PROHIBITION

Annihilate Mafia Crime Users.

The Narcissists

If you're awesome and know it.

I Want an Ebaum's World Orgy

If you can't figure it out, you're probably not welcome anyway.

Surprise!!!

For people who like surprise sex!

masturbaters group

for anyone (guys or girls) who has masturbated to a mature section video or pic on ebaums, share your mature pictures and videos here.

Unemployed Ebaums Users

We may not have a real job, but that's all right, we have ebaumsworld

People who KICK ASS!

This group is for people who kick ass and are damn good at it

P.W.F.W.O.P

P.W.F.W.O.P (People who fuck with other people) A group made for the shit talkers and people who like to fuck with retarded and stupid people on the comments section

Your Above Average Joes and Jane

this is a group of ppl that during their work/college lives, they find the time to come on this website, and voice their opinion with absloute force on unexpecting noobs/retards/tools. we dont do this because it makes us feel better, we do it because honestly work and school is boring and well...its pretty funny to see the reactions... so come on we mean no harm, but you must be made fun of. its a fact.

That's a few of the funniest ones I seen here at eBaum's. If I left any good ones out, feel free to add them in the comment section.

Hell muthafuckin' yeah!!! In what seemed like way too long the groups are finally functioning like a well oiled machine. It seemed like the comment and upload button was down for days. Hope to see you all in the eBaum's Ambassadors Lounge/Post A Picture Of Yourself/Alcoholics Unanonimous  posts. Have a good weekend. -Cannon

Remember the War on Drugs? Well, it's over, and drugs won. (Is that Bill Maher's line? Help me out here.)

It turns out that the military solution to drug addiction, including herbicide spraying in Bolivia and Coast Guard interdictions, is as futile as it is expensive. And the criminal solution, throwing drug users into prison by the thousand, does nothing to reduce addiction.

What we need instead is some kind of solution that addresses the demand side of the equation. And I don't mean "Just Say No." I mean reducing addiction levels through drug rehab. This is not a military or criminal solution—it is a medical solution, and it's the only solution known to get results.

Prop 5 will reduce the pointless incarceration of nonviolent drug offenders, and instead offer them rehabilitation and a meaningful chance to break the cycle of addiction and arrest. And it will make significant dent in our prison overcrowding problem.

Prop 5 has four main components. First, it will expand the adult treatment programs in lieu of prison that have been in place since we approved Prop 36 in 2000. Prop 5 creates three levels of care and supervision for nonviolent drug offenders, based on their criminal history and drug problem severity. A mix of incentives and consequences, including hard jail time, will encourage completion of treatment. Prop 36 has been a great success, with over 80,000 people completing treatment programs in its first seven years. It makes good sense to build on this.

Second, Prop 5 will mandate local sanctions instead of prison to punish minor parole violations by nonviolent offenders. This will further reduce strain on the prison system. Also, parolees and former parolees will continue to receive rehabilitation services to help them stay clean as they return to society.

Get your ass out there and vote. The prison system has become a business, with the companies building them profiting millions of dollars on over zealous drug laws and enhancements. Go out there and vote.
We can make a difference!

Third, possession of less than one ounce of marijuana will change from a misdemeanor to an infraction, with a maximum fine of $100 for adults, and mandatory drug education classes for minors. This low level of punishment for small amounts is appropriate for the severity of the crime. And it is a concrete first step away from the military/criminal solution that has proven so ineffective.

Thumbs up for Halloween:

Thumbs up: 

For the skimpy, sexy outfits that hot girls put on for the occasion. Nothing beats seeing a fine girl with the body of a godess dressed as a naughty nurse or french maid.

For having sex with your gf or date on Halloween. Nothing screams sleazy but hot porno flick like being dressed up as a escaped covict and fucking a hot chick dressed as Cleopatra or a mermaid.

For the scary movies on TV. I love horror flicks and it's so much better being scared out your mind by a movie, then the current economic crisis the United States is going through. Whew!

Thumbs down for Halloween:

Thumbs down:

For the people that think it's ok to act a ass because they are in costume and nobody is going to recognize them. What you think we don't know who that is dressed as the cop from the Villiage People? Think again.

For the police officers "that over do it" Just a minute ago your were taking pictures with that hot chick dressed like Ariel fom A Little Mermaid, now you want to search me for weed because I'm dressed like Tommy Chong. Boooo!

For assholes that ruin it for everybody. Putting a guy in a coma because he has a John McCain or Barrack Obama mask isn't the the business. That's just plain ignorance. However... Fucking the hot MILF dressed like Sarah Palin is.

This concludes Cannon's thumbs up & down for Halloween segment

Enjoy & be safe...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN ALL!

-Cannon

This is a joke I was going to submit but it was too long to fit on the upload sheet so I am putting it in a blog. Hope you enjoy.

A self-obsessed bodybuilder is admiring his physique in the mirror one morning, and complimenting himself on his Herculean frame. Even his suntan is almost perfect, he notes – except, he realizes to his horror, for his groin, which is a pale, alabaster white. Annoyed, he decides to go to the beach and correct the situation. Arriving on an apparently deserted part of the shore, he undresses completely and buries himself in the sand – leaving only his knob above ground to catch the sun's rays. However, before long, two old women come strolling along and notice his member waving in the sea breeze. After prodding it with her cane, one of the pensioners tuts. ‘There is just no justice in the world,’ she says. The other old lady looks at her. ‘What do you mean by that?’ she says. The first woman frowns. ‘I'm 80 years old, and I've been chasing these things all my life,’ she says. ‘Now the damn things are growing wild and I'm too old to squat.’

     Actually I should call this blog a good question for guys that are getting laid (and quite frequently) on EBW.

     While having trouble sleeping tonight, I decided like most nights when I'm on the solo, to reflect back on some of my sexual experiences. I thought back to the hottest chick I was ever with. Let's call her Karina. Karina was about as close to a 10 as you can get looks wise. She had a spectacular body & I mean A fuckin' SPECTACULAR body and a beautiful face. A flawless sultry vixen who just extruded sexuality. I met her at a club and to my suprise she invited me and my friend back to her house. We stopped at the 7-11 where I worked at the time & good old Ricky hooked me up with a 30 pack even though it was after two. My chances of getting laid just increased by two fold I thought. Anyway, after a small conversation and my friend taking one for the team, he got with the less than stellar roomate (haha Jared you fuck LoL) We went off to her room for a night of pleasure. We were messing around a getting hot in heavy when I grabbed a condom out my jean pockets on the floor and she snatched it out my hand and put it on with her mouth. That shit just turned me on even more and I was assured I was gonna tear that ass up. Let me shorten my story a little and leave out some of the graphic details and just say, the pussy was less than stellar. Actually, it was the worst fuck of my life. Which considering the girl, this was highly unexpected. I don't know if that's the case with some really good looking girls, that they think since they are so attractive, their sex game can be weak or what, but this was just a horrible experience. If you need a visiually aid check out Ray Lapowski in my submissions Weed VS Alcohol That pusy was horrrrrrrrible haha. Yeah something like that but  anyway, my question to you is....

    If you could have your choice, would you

    A. Rather have sex with a beautiful, better yet georgeous woman (think Megan Fox or Scarlett Johansson) even though the pussy & sex would be horrible

     or

    B. Would you rather have sex with a decent, around average boot knocker (think Tori Spelling or singer Jewel) If the sex was going to be breathtaking and I mean that, we fucking in the backseat of the car and I gotta turn on the dome light to see what the fuck you doing cuz you got me ready to bust in 10 seconds kind of pussy.

     Shit let's get to the comments.

I pulled up to Sam's Club today and got gas for 2.99 a gallon. I can't remember the last time it was this low. As Clay Davis would say Sheeeeeiiiiiiiit, GAS IS FINALLY CHEAPER THAN A 40 OUNCE!!! I might have to actually start driving my Chevelle again. It has been sitting like a unwrapped Christmas present for about 9months now. Occasionally going to the liquor store from time to time on Sunday's  I told myself if my beloved Raiders won (yes that's my team, don't like it FUCK YOU) I would take the Chevelle for a cruise. Suprisingly my team won in OT and so I fired up the 7duece. I cruised around the greater bay area and found some spots gas was still at around $3.45 a gallon. How is it lookin' in your neck of the woods?

Has anybody else seen this program? That shit is crazy! Like the guy who swallowed all those condoms filled with cocoaine and almost died. Anyway, I was thinking if I was on vacation and someone offered me a bunch of money and free room and board at a fine suite in return for smuggling drugs; I think I would definitely look into what kind of legal system the country I was vacationing in has. All be damn if you catch me in a Salvadorian 3rd world prison sharing a cell with 30 MS-13 members. Some of these people on this show seriously have some lapse in judgement. I don't give a fuck how much money it is. It's not worth 10+yrs of your life locked up in a foreign country or worse. I also watched this movie on Showtime the other night called Ganja Queen. It was a documentary about a Australian woman found with 10 pounds of Marijuana in Thailand. Personally I believe she is innocent (the case has many faulty elements involved) Shit is a crazy story. She was facing the death penalty but instead got 20 something years. Anyway, to conclude my blog I highly (no pun intended) recommend either of these programs to people looking to check out some ill prison shit.

So I just checked my submitted content and I found out that some asshole went through all off my media and rated it one star. I just wanted to make a public statment to whoever it is that's doing this, I don't give a fuck. If you had a pair of balls you would send me a pm or air out your problem right here on this blog in a comment. So let's see if you got a pair. Probably not.

#1 Why do you guys have 15 different pillows on you bed in 5 different shapes and 3 different sizes? Is it reall neccessary to have all that?

#2 Do you really need a different shampoo for everyday of the week? This morning I woke up and showered at a females house and I was in awe of the 11 different shampoo and conditioners. When I asked the girl why she had so many, her reply was sometimes she wants to smell like cucumber melon, somedays it's that herbal Aussie stuff or whatever LoL.

I just want to hear some of the ladies responses. I'm sure if you ask any guy on here they have a similiar story. So ladies please clarify your love for pillows and shampoo -Cannon

On Sunday myself and some friends got together with some ladies to watch some football. Well it was a good time with BBQ, Hot wings, & beer until one of my friends aquantances got obnoxious. I think all of us either have a friend, or know somebody, who can't hold their liquor. This guy Frank is notorious for acting a ass off of some liquor. So he's running around smacking the girls on the ass and getting loud. That shit don't really bother me, but for some odd reason Frank lost all his common sense & tried to pick a fight with me. Personally, I don't like to fight. I can beat the shit out of muthafuckas, but as I have gotten older I try to avoid the altercation and the felony charges. I especially didn't want to fuck up Frank. He is a good dude, just can't hold his liqour. Well he keeps horseplaying around with me trying to see if I will give him at least a good grappling match to the floor. I decline & try to avoid embarassing his drunk ass & fucking up my friends house. This is when for some odd reason, he decided to attempt to slap the shit out the back of my head. I seen him coming and that was that. I snaked around his wild flail of a slap and put him in a sleeper. Falling to his knees I told him to tap out. I got to give it to Frank, he didn't want to tap. I firmly strengthed the hold. I relayed to him to just relax and I would let him go but he was trying to shake the hold and get his scrap on. I felt his body go kind of limp and from experience of fighting I knew he was about to go to sleep. I didn't hurt the guy so I let go & rolled him over. It was at this time that I heard immense laughter from the girls in the room. I wan't sure what they were laughing or pointing at because my adrenaline was still pumping from the altercation. I soon realized it when I noticed Franks pants had fallen down in the altercation. It appears Frank, definetly isn't breaking any rubbers. I felt bad for the dude in a room full of ladies, choked out, face red, baby dick out. Damn. So I helped pull up his pants quickly not wanting to be a asshole & contribute to the gawking. I could hear Frank snoring and I knew his was out. I got him a pillow lifted up his head and let him sleep it off. Just when I thought the worst passed he made a noise and coughed up a big loog that landed right back on his face. I put that on my life. Damn that is just seriously enough ownage for he rest of the week. If anybody has a worse week then this guy let me know. It would probably make him feel better.

I m pretty tired of hearing about poltics these days. All the slander & dirty campaign shit. I come to eBaums usually to visit with some cool people, upload some content, kill some time, & ocasionally watch someone get hit in the nuts, by a bus, or throw up on a stripper. Yes I really did see a video on here of the latter. Anyway, I'm just sick of the debates politics & views. I really think that 1st, a president has really limited power. 2nd by the time they get in to office, the have gotten into bed with so many people to get there, you are never really gonna get any of the promises they offered fulfilled. Last but not least as in most things in life, money talks. The almighty dollar will always sit shotgun even if values get pushed to the back seat. It's frustrating, but it's the truth. Still don't nothing move without the money. I'll just be glad when the elections over & we don't have to hear about all these people thinking Obama is going to change the world, or McCain is going to steer our country back on track.

Lately I have been noticing quite a large array of decent sexy girls on this website. The problem with that is, how do you know it's really them? With social networking sites like myspace, It has become common ground for people to steal pictures from other girls & pretend to be them. I Have met some fine & pretty witty females on this sight & I was just wondering if any of them would be down to address & proove the nay sayers wrong. I have heard a few times that bbaby is a guy & I have also heard the same about angiepie &xBl0ndiie . The truth of the matter is both of these chicks seem like really nice people, however if they ARE really guys then that is just creepy & if you guys are subscibing to them just because of the pic in the avatar, that makes you retarded. There are a lot of people on this website that got some cool original material you just got to look. I would also like to big shout out the girls on this website that have made it a lot of fun to visit. People such as Webb1704, Egg, BuG & Shellydazzler always have interesting things to say as well as some original content. Well that's it for now. Peace -Cannon

I am writing this blog beacuse of all the issues I have seen lately involving so called "stolen material." Bitching about not getting featured, & so on & so on. I am going to air a few things out.

1st. People need to stop complaining about people getting a feature on something that was posted before by somebody else. I don't know how it works, but I assume it's something like this: Ebaums employee's sort through countless media & pick stuff to be featured. One person saw your video of the kid falling off a bridge & didn't think it should be featured. Two weeks later another employee sees the video on someone else's profile & thinks it should be featured & so it does. It's happened to me before & I'm sure a lot of other people on here. It happens from time to time & it's going to continue to happen, who gives a fuck.

2nd. People need to stop trying to treat this shit like a job. If you do not receive a check from this website then stop uploading mass amounts of material to get Gutiar Hero Legend of Rock. GO MOW A FUCKING LAWN or something! Get a fucking job. This whole erep point & prize thing has got a lot of people on here sounding like little whining bitches. Fuck erep points & that wack ass Mustang. By the time you accumulate enough points to buy it anyway. The world will probably not be using gas powered vehicles.

3rd. People really need to stop thinking that your media rating gets your shit featured. You really think that I am going to be more likely to watch a video uploaded by so & so because it has 5 stars on it when I know they have 10 different profiles on here & they are always rating their own shit up. I doubt it, & I doubt ebaumsworld is going to treat it any diffferently. So stop tripping out if your favorite upload on here got a rating of one star. Have you seen the shit getting featured on here lately?

Well, there is my rant of the day. I'm off to go mow a lawn. J/K -Cannon