....I woke up this morning only to discover that my huge balls were in fact blue...

 LADIES! Why do you insist on cockblocking dudes at every given opportunity!? Last night I was at a party, and there were beautiful women EVERYWHERE! A gay midget could have gotten laid by a supermodel at this party.... it was a goddamn booty bonanza, a poon party if you will... It was a mother fucking vag extravaganza! 

    But anyways, as the story goes, I was putting all my time and effort and game into this one particularily attractive broad. She was giving off all these sexual vibes, and got really defensive when any other girls would come near. So naturally i'm thinking GODDAMN, i'm hookin up with this sweetie tonight for sure. But then the end of the night comes and we're down in my room and she totally blew me off! What a fucking ripoff, i spent all this time and energy seducing this woman only to be blue balled at the end of the night. GIRLS, PLEASE, FROM MEN EVERYWHERE.... if your gonna be cockblocking a dude all night at least have the courtesy to give him a blow job.

FROM THE HEART- I do LOVE some Italians, but I personally HATE most of them... I grew up in Ontario, Canada, a place where mass amounts of these greasy loud mouth pig-headed idiots gather to wallow in their own filth. The majority of Italians are noisy, overly proud bigots who care about nobody but their own race. The eccentric pride that they show implies that they think they are superior to everybody else. Also, they truly believe that they are Gods gift to women everywhere, when in reality, most Italian men are loud mouthed perverted fucking pig assholes who treat their women like absolute SHIT Its nothing for them to go out with the boys and stuff their fat gobs with lasagna, but taking their women out for even a simple dinner? RARE. Its not just a CHORE to treat women with respect for these pigs, but more of a grueling task. These PIZZA CHOMPING BRUTES are by far the most rude annoying people Ive ever had the displeasure of encountering! The women arent as bad, i almost feel sorry for the fact that they have to co-exist with these thick-headed linguine slurping imbeciles. But to be fair, its almost as if the women BELIEVE that armpit hair and foul vaginal stench is attractive... Well, maybe it is to the Italian men. Oh, and dont get me started on these grease ball wops who show undying loyalty to the mafia The vast majority of these GUIDO GINO GREASEBALLS pretend or imply that they are somehow affiliated with the mob, and attempt to use this garbage to intimidate others. Give me a fucking break, the only thing most of these spaghetti slurping slobs are affiliated with is cannelloni and meatballs. Most of these 5 foot stocky cowards couldnt intimidate a real man, that is why they abuse their women

          And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is why I am sickened to the core by Italians, and I thank you for taking the time to read my opinion (unless your Italian that is :P)