When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking

away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Provid

Since there are several users on this site that are veterans I thought that it would be appropriate that we have a group recognizing that.

Use the following link to join the group:

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/groups/view/78985

This group is for users of Ebaumsworld that have served in the military or are currently serving.Please post branch and years served on the message board. Anything else you post is up to your own discretion.Remember OPSEC and PERSEC protocol when posting comments.NOTICE:IF YOU ATTEMPT TO CLAIM SPEC OPS IN ANY BRANCH BE PREPARED TO BE VETTED AND ANY POSERS FOUND WILL BE REPORTED TO THE APPROPRIATE AGENCY FOR VIOLATION OF THE FEDERAL STOLEN VALOR ACT

Because I really have nothing better to do with my time here is this:

So, I'm sitting here at the desk, minding my own business, when this 20 something beach bum comes in wanting a room. No shirt, flip flops, just a pair of swim trunks on with no pockets. This is gonna be important to remember. The guy is drunk, and unfortunately for me, I will realize just how drunk in a minute.Drunken Guy: "Hi, I need a room"Me: "Okay, lemme just set you up here" ." *spend a few minutes grabbing information from him; name, address, type of room*Me: "Okay, that'll be $127.99 sir."DG: *puts a piece of toast on the counter* "There ya go."I just kinda looked at it for a minute, then looked at him to see if he was being serious, then told him "Sir, that's a piece of toast."At this point, my brain was already asking questions it shouldn't have had to at this hour. *Why toast? Where the hell did you GET toast? You don't have any pockets on those swim trunks, and I definitely didn't see you carry it in. Where did you get toast FROM at this hour? And why is it hot? HOW is it hot?! Did you have a toaster jacked to your car?!*DG: "Yeah, but it's good toast."Me: "Wha- that doesn't change the fact that it's TOAST."DG: "Yeah, but I mean it's good toast, I promise you. There's money on it, run it."Me: *what.*Me: "Sir, toast doesn't have money on it. It's toast."DG: "Well maybe not YOUR toast. Dude, it's good, I promise, at least give it a try."Me: *How the- what the fu- How would I even-*Me: "Sir, I can't take this. We do not take toast at this hotel. No matter how crispy it is." *and at this point I'm asking myself "Am I really having this conversation?"*DG: "Well, that seems like pretty bad business man"Me: "Wha- IT'S TOAST. LOOK! IT'S NOT EVEN WARM ANYMORE!" *pokes it*DG: "Well that doesn't make it any less valuable. Seriously, y'all shouldn't turn away perfectly good money just 'cause of the form it comes in. My toast is as good as everyone else's toast."Me: "I...I... I don't know what to say to that."DG: "I do man. We'll just take our toast somewhere else man. G'night."I...I... what the FUCK!?!?!

So, Lake Superior State University just released their 2009 Banned Word List. Is life that boring in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan that they spend their spare time coming up with these lists?

Anyways, here it is (Maybe there can be an Ebaumsworld Banned Word List next) :

-- green

-- carbon footprint or carbon offsetting

-- maverick

-- first dude

-- bailout

-- Wall Street/Main Street

-- monkey -- 3 (Emoticon for 'heart' used in text messages and e-mail.)

-- icon or iconic

-- game changer

-- staycation

-- desperate search

-- not so much

-- winner of five nominations

-- it's that time of year again

A special thank you to those that served before me, those that served with me, and those that served after me.

I had a video that was featured about a month and a half ago and now the video is no longer listed in my profile and I have not been able to find the video on EBW. Has anyone had this happen before or know why this would occur? I didn't lose any of my points from the video so I can't complain too much. Thanks for the input.

When George Burns was 97 years old, he was interviewed by Oprah
Winfrey.
 
Oprah asked, 'Mr. Burns, how do you carry so much energy with you? 
You are always working and at your age I think that is remarkable.'
 
George said, 'I just take good care of myself and enjoy what I do when
I do it.'
 
Oprah said, 'I understand you still do the sex thing, even at your
age.'
 
George said, 'Of course I still do the sex thing and I am quite good
at it.'
 
Oprah said, 'I have never been with an older man, would you do it with
me?'
 
So they had sex and when they finished Oprah said, 'I just don't
believe I have ever been so satisfied, you are a remarkable man.'
 
George said, 'The second time is even better than the first time.'
 
Oprah said, 'You can really do it again at your age?'
 
George said, 'Just let me sleep for 1/2 hour. You hold my testicles in
your left hand and my penis in your right hand and wake me up in
thirty minutes.'
 
When she woke him up they again had great sex and Oprah was beside
herself with joy. She said, 'Oh Mr.
Burns, I am astounded that you could do a repeat performance and have
it be better than the first time. At your age, Oh My, Oh My!!!'
 
George said that the third time would be even better. George said,
'You just hold my testicles in your left hand and my penis in your
right hand and call me in thirty minutes.'
 
Oprah said, 'Does me holding you like that kind of recharge your
batteries?'
 
George said, 'No, but the last time I had sex with a black woman, she
stole my wallet.'

Q.     What is the difference between a Drug Dealer and a Hooker?

A.     A Hooker can wash Her crack and sell it again.

Here's the guy that should be our first black president

'

They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English.  I can't even talk the way these people talk:
Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...
And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.
And then I heard the father talk.
Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.
In fact, you will never get any kind of job making a decent living.  People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around. The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.
These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids. $500 sneakers for what??
And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.
I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit. Where were you when he was 2?  Where were you when he was 12? Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol?
And where is the father? Or who is his father?
People putting their clothes on backward:
Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?
People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something?
Or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up?
Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body? What part of Africa did this come from?
We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa ..
With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap, and all of them are in jail.
Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.
We have got to take the neighborhood back.
People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.
We have millionaire football players who cannot read.
We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job. Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.
We have to start holding each other to a higher standard
We cannot blame the white people any longer.'
                 
Dr. William Henry 'Bill' Cosby, Jr., Ed.D.
WAY TO GO, BILL !!
It's NOT about color...
It's about behavior!!!

A little boy was standing in front of a mirror in the restroom at John F. Kennedy Airport, when in walked a Marine staff sergeant, dressed in his dress blues.

The little boy turned to the Marine and said, "Wow! Are you a Marine?"

The Marine replied, "Why, yes I am, young man. Would you like to wear my hat?"

"Boy, would I!," said the little boy. He took the hat and placed it on his head and turned to admire himself in the mirror.

As he was looking in the mirror, he heard the door open and through a ray of bright light, a man entered the room. But, this was not just a man -- he was more than a man. He was an Airborne Ranger.

The little boy turned and went over to the soldier. As he approached him, he could see the reflection in his boots. His eyes widened as he stared up at the soldier's chest full of medals and combat ribbons.

He tried to speak, but he couldn't. Finally, he took a deep breath, and managed to say, "Excuse me, Sir. Are you an Airborne Ranger?"

The Ranger replied with a thunderous voice, "Why yes, I am!! Would you like to shine my boots?"

The little boy smiled, and said, "Oh, no sir!! I'm not a Marine. I'm just wearing his hat!"