God it feels like some weight has been lifted off my shoulders...im not a lil noob anymore....i can consider myself a user now...i always did but this feature i jsut got made it official. i pretty much upload something every day but that feature made it happen THANK YOU EBAUM THANK YOU!!!

So i relised i got my first feature about 5 hours ago....if you look in my profile it says featured but it has not been on the home page yet...i know its not someone fucking with me because in my profile it would not say featured media: 1  so I was just wondering if any of you pros out there who have a bunch of featured media or anyone with an answer could tell me if there is a waiting time or something cause i am raelly hoping its not fake taht would be extremely fucked up.

So there is this sound...a certain sound that if i hear it i want to punch infants in their FACE!!!  The way it goes threw the ear drum and processed threw the brain just makes me so ANGRY!!!  The noise is a high pitched fart in which only certain ppl can hear.  God help if im in a nursery and a nurse lets one loose.  The next thing you know shreeks and babies crying will be heard for miles.  When i hit a baby it is such an adrenaline rush i get an erection and ejeculate in my pants.  I have had 13 cat scans and 20 MRI's and they can not figure out what makes me do this....why me lord ...why me...?

p.s I totally am jerking off to fat chicks NAKEDDDD!!!!!

So i finally found a way to get the video with the talking lizard.  its an animated video with a hilarious story behind it.  There were a group of guys fuckign around.  One of them, not sure who, took some acid and was later locked into a closet tripping balls while an audio recorder was recording everything he was saying and seeing.  It is a well animated video with absolutely everythign the dude was seeing absolutely amazing i have never laughed so hard.  Just htinking about a guy in a closet tripping on acid just rocks your world.  so check it out its in my profile under my submissions or you could jsut type in drinking out of cups in the search bar it is a must see!!!

Recently I was lucky enoughto watch a fight.  Wasn't one of the best but I did get to see one which made my freaking day.  So i was at school and it was this puerto rican kid arguing with this white dude.  And judging by how much bigger the white dude was than the pr I knew this fight was going to be a disaster for teh pr.   When out of nowhere his cousins aunts sisters brothers rats they all jsut came out of nowhere like they crawled out of a gutter and jsut appeared.  This guy eneded up getting jumped pretty badly and that what i wanted to talk about.  And for the record my cell phone was dead and thats the only reason its not on here.  But now a days if you are going to fight someone your going to be fighting there family fucking tree.  I cant stand how there is no such thing as a fair fight anymore.  Its pretty much Pr's too not to single out your race but those of you who are Puerto Rican you seriously have to admit you guys do not fight fair.  Wars to why can't a war be faught by like 100's if thousands of ppl running at eachother and then jsut kicking the shit out of the enemy.  Idk thats just my opinion.

Everybody on this site is always pissed off.  Admit it, why can't everyone jsut leave funny comments and keep your pissed off emotions somewhere else.  This site is supposed to be funny and cheer you up.  But you got assholes that will jsut trash your videos making you feel like shit and trash your blogs like what jsut happened to me a couple days ago.  Keep your sad and lonely life off ebaums world.  Everyone comes here to laugh and communicate with others...not to be a little bleeding tampon like a bunch of the users on here.  So just lay off with the anger and have some fun with this site.  Instead of sitting here looking to see whose day you can destroy why not find a funny ass video or write a blog or something.  Grow the hell up and stop being  little pissants!!

        Girls now a days are only about just taking and never giving.  I personally enjoy it when i am the one being pleasured.  Don't get me wrong I love being in control But you have to admit guys there are those days where you just wish your girl would jump up and ride the hie hard one.  But you can't say anything to upset them because then you wont get to have sex.  It is so easy to get that privledge taken away from you unless you got a nympho on your hands and if that is the case i congradulate you.  But honestly no matter what you say guys the girls rule the relationship.  Because honestly they can take all your dreams and fantasies away from you in a couple of seconds.  And if they want to have sex they don't need us any girl be it fat ugly skinny hot whatever can find sex somewhere.  So play it smart be a good boy and you will get a lot more than you will ever expect.

My Girlfriend of 2 years decides to tell me today that she wants some space.  I imedietly lose my temper and throw my parents bahamas (spelling) umbrella and patio table across the yard.  So i told her to get the fuck out of my house.  I then baught a pack of ciggarettes and drove to nearest place where i could fish and relax.  I start walking down when some lady passes me by on a bike and says "hi how are you" I replied with o amazing, being sarcastic but she didn't know.  So i was jsut going to carry on with my buisness and i said well have a good night.  The lady said well it would be a better one if you would follow me about a mile up the road.  I was in utter shock and said excuse me?  She winked at me and road up the chair.  I then relised I was wearing my granny fucker T-shirt

I jsut saw the funniest fucking movie...search show me you genitals...its a music video one of the funniest things i have ever seen.  Its about a guy who thinks whatever women say and do are stupid and should have sex with him OMFG hilarious.  You should check out OC OC trainee mace spray hilarious.