http://www.ebaumsworld.com/asphyx Latest media uploaded to eBaums World by asphyx en-us Mon, 30 Nov 2009 00:15:00 -0500 Mon, 30 Nov 2009 00:15:00 -0500 80635381 Thu, 14 May 2009 06:30:47 -0400 Added: 2009-05-14 06:30:47
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/80635381/ No Sex Tonight One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. 80635376 Thu, 14 May 2009 06:17:46 -0400 Added: 2009-05-14 06:17:46
Awesome Guitar Stuff ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/elinks/view/80635376/ Bobby G's You Tube Page Awesome Guitar Stuff 80629403 Thu, 07 May 2009 06:37:46 -0400 Added: 2009-05-07 06:37:46
Bobby G nails the freecreditreport.com songs. ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/80629403/ 3 freecreditreport.com songs by Bobby G Bobby G nails the freecreditreport.com songs. 1040968 Fri, 31 Oct 2008 17:16:43 -0400 Added: 2008-10-31 17:16:43
So I make faces to make people laugh. ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/1040968/ I'm Fat So I make faces to make people laugh. 437902 Sat, 24 May 2008 03:05:54 -0400 Added: 2008-05-24 03:05:54
A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at her, and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed, the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?" "Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities." "That is right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" "Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer." "Correct," replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I'm doing now?" "Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes, which is why I came here in the first place." ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/437902/ Sexy chick and a Gynecologist A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at her, and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed, the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?" "Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities." "That is right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" "Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer." "Correct," replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I'm doing now?" "Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes, which is why I came here in the first place." 437899 Sat, 24 May 2008 02:58:51 -0400 Added: 2008-05-24 02:58:51
How do Chinese people name their kids? They throw silverware down the stairs... CHING CHANG CHONG PING! ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/437899/ Chinese Names How do Chinese people name their kids? They throw silverware down the stairs... CHING CHANG CHONG PING! 398794 Sat, 10 May 2008 16:32:02 -0400 Added: 2008-05-10 16:32:02
Now this picture looks like that 3d pong game. ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/398794/ Over Demotivation Now this picture looks like that 3d pong game. 276763 Mon, 31 Mar 2008 01:33:10 -0400 Added: 2008-03-31 01:33:10
Money buys hotness. ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/276763/ Paris Hilton Money buys hotness. 276740 Mon, 31 Mar 2008 01:11:26 -0400 Added: 2008-03-31 01:11:26
Papa's Got a Brand New Bag ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/276740/ James Brown Papa's Got a Brand New Bag 276715 Mon, 31 Mar 2008 00:54:44 -0400 Added: 2008-03-31 00:54:44
Just a helpful website with tips n shit. ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/elinks/view/276715/ Bobby's Website Just a helpful website with tips n shit. 259989 Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:51:19 -0400 Added: 2008-03-20 20:51:19
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Nobody's sure, nobody wants to ask, we'll just assume there's a trail of dead bodies behind him. ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/259989/ Chuck and the Road Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Nobody's sure, nobody wants to ask, we'll just assume there's a trail of dead bodies behind him. 259987 Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:48:41 -0400 Added: 2008-03-20 20:48:41
Why is a divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/259987/ Divorce Why is a divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. 212033 Sat, 23 Feb 2008 19:16:16 -0500 Added: 2008-02-23 19:16:16
This is the definition. ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/212033/ Tired This is the definition. 212032 Sat, 23 Feb 2008 19:16:04 -0500 Added: 2008-02-23 19:16:04
This is the definition. ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/212032/ Tired This is the definition. 212016 Sat, 23 Feb 2008 19:03:31 -0500 Added: 2008-02-23 19:03:31
He' human ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/212016/ My dog buddy He' human