I have remained silent on so many issues that have disturbed me here on eBaumsworld but just lately, I’ve been witnessing some pretty extreme shit going on with both Newbies and Veteran users…. To me this is bullying…… I have 3 issues I feel need addressing and I will do so at a later date. My main concern at the moment is the new “Clique System” I will not mention any names because I’m pretty sure that the parties involved will know who I am talking about but for all the thousands of decent eBaumsworld users who just like this site and upload some great stuff I will explain how this “clique” works.

Firstly…. If you by any chance upset one of these 5 people, you will be reprimanded. These 5 users…… no sorry I mean LOSERS will then view your media, be it new stuff or old and rate it down…… There is a flaw in eBaumsworlds system that automatically takes down media that is flagged by more than 4 users, so if they don’t like you they will group together and destroy anything you upload.

I have some great friends on here who are seriously thinking about leaving because of this group of idiots and these are people who have been members of this community for a long time. People who’s uploads have given everybody excellent entertainment for a long time…. I have been in contact with staff and this matter is under review so hopefully it will be dealt with shortly and the above losers will be receiving what they deserve….

I don’t want to fall out with anybody over this issue…. I know that one of the persons involved is on my buddy list and I’m hoping that they will realise that….

My other issues will have to wait for a few weeks while I’m tied up with work but this “Clique” will be dealt with sooner than you think…. G.L.D…..

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between
assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the
courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the
ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock
me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room
fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the
professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the
last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the
professor, and cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The professor
was out cold.

The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The
other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.
The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine
and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?" The
Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers
who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole.
.............So, He sent me."

I was just chatting earlier to a friend on here and they asked me what I was saving my eRep points up for....lol. Now I'm not bragging in any way cos I never even read up on all the changes and I was uploading stuff way before all this points stuff came about. I didn't even know for a good while what the eRep store was till ttbardj pointed it out to me.... Now I'm not sure wether they added points on for relics like me who had been uploading for some time before the new system but the outcome remains the same: I have 2.25 Mill erep points and I would like to donate them to the worthiest candidate....... I am sure there is someone out there who could come up with the right price for them. Price being of no significance to me it would need to be by way of deed. In other words, I would expect the recipient to do something both for the good of eBaums World and the good of the less fortunates in this somewhat sorry reality we live in.... I will open the bidding at the minimum......

Sponsored Walk. Minimum of: 200 miles. Including a free " SwagPack. "  Conditions being you will wear and use all accessories whilst undertaking the long trek....lol.

I'm sure there are better things you can all think of but this is just an example.....

So.............. Who's bidding then....?

1. "The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children."

2. "Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done."

3. "The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning."

4. "Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door."

5. "The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, 'Break Forth Into Joy.'"

6. "A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday."

7. "Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community."

8. "The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy."

9. "Thursday night Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow."

10. "The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Adams."

11. "Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early."

12. "A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow."

13. "At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice."

14. "Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance."

15. "Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes."

16. "Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child."

17. "The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel."

18. "The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'"

19. "Our next song is 'Angels We Have Heard Get High.'"

20. "Don't let worry kill you, let the church help."

21. "For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs."

22. "This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar."

23. "The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in."

24. "Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones."

25. "The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir."

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle.                      
                                                             
 Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.                                        
                                                             
 After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.                                   
                                                             
 And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"                                                    
                                                             
 "Don't what?" Adam replied.                                               
                                                             
 "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.                                                   
                                                             
 "Forbidden fruit?  We have forbidden fruit?  Hey Eve.. we have forbidden fruit"                          
                                                             
 "No Way!"                                                   
                                                             
 "Yes way!"                                                  
                                                             
 "Do NOT eat the fruit! " said God.                                                   
                                                             
 "Why?"                                                      
                                                             
 "Because I am your Father and I said so!"  God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.                        
                                                             
 A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!                                          
                                                             
 "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? " God asked.                                                  
                                                             
 "Uh huh,"  Adam replied.                                               
                                                             
 "Then why did you? " said the Father.                                            
                                                             
 "I don't know,"  said Eve.                                                   
                                                             
 "She started it!"  Adam said.                                                  
                                                             
 "Did not! "                                                 
                                                             
 "Did too! "                                                 
                                                             
 "DID NOT! "                                                 
                                                             
 Having had it with the two of them,  God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.                          
                                                             
 Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.          
                                                             
 BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!                      
                                                             
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.  If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be  a piece of cake for you?                                    
                                                             
 THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!                                      
                                                             
 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.      
                                                             
 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.                          
                                                             
 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.                               
                                                             
 4. Children seldom misquote you.  In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.                               
                                                             
 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.                                   
                                                             
 6. We childproofed our homes,  but they are still getting in.                              
                                                             
 ADVICE FOR THE DAY:                                         
                                                             
 Be nice to your kids.  They will choose your nursing home one day.                                       
                                                             
 AND FINALLY:                                                
                                                             
 IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:                                      
                                                             
 "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!                          

Where did the word 'marijuana' come from? In the mid 1930s, the M-word was created to tarnish the good image and phenomenal history of the hemp plant...as you will read. The facts cited here, with references, are generally verifiable in the Encyclopaedia Britannica which was printed on hemp paper for 150 years:

* All schoolbooks were made from hemp or flax paper until the 1880s; Hemp Paper Reconsidered, Jack Frazier, 1974.

* It was LEGAL TO PAY TAXES WITH HEMP in America from 1631 until the early 1800s; LA Times, Aug. 12, 1981.

* REFUSING TO GROW HEMP in America during the 17th and 18th Centuries WAS AGAINST THE LAW! You could be jailed in Virginia for refusing to grow hemp from 1763 to 1769; Hemp in Colonial Virginia, G. M. Herdon.

* George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and other founding fathers GREW HEMP; Washington and Jefferson Diaries. Jefferson smuggled hemp seeds from China to France then to America.

* Benjamin Franklin owned one of the first paper mills in America and it processed hemp. Also, the War of 1812 was fought over hemp. Napoleon wanted to cut off Moscow's export to England; Emperor Wears No Clothes, Jack Herer.

* For thousands of years, 90% of all ships' sails and rope were made from hemp. The word 'canvas' is Dutch for hemp; Webster's New World Dictionary.

* 80% of all textiles, fabrics, clothes, linen, drapes, bed sheets, etc. were made from hemp until the 1820s with the introduction of the cotton gin.

* The first Bibles, maps, charts, Betsy Ross's flag, the first drafts of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution were made from hemp; U.S. Government Archives.

* The first crop grown in many states was hemp. 1850 was a peak year for Kentucky producing 40,000 tons. Hemp was the largest cash crop until the 20th Century; State Archives.

* Oldest known records of hemp farming go back 5000 years in China, although hemp industrialization probably goes back to ancient Egypt.

* Rembrandts, Gainsborough’s, Van Gogh’s as well as most early canvas paintings were principally painted on hemp linen.

* In 1916, the U.S. Government predicted that by the 1940s all paper would come from hemp and that no more trees need to be cut down. Government studies report that 1 acre of hemp equals 4.1 acres of trees. Plans were in the works to implement such programs; Department of Agriculture

* Quality paints and varnishes were made from hemp seed oil until 1937. 58,000 tons of hemp seeds were used in America for paint products in 1935; Sherman Williams Paint Co. testimony before Congress against the 1937 Marijuana Tax Act.

* Henry Ford's first Model-T was built to run on hemp gasoline and the CAR ITSELF WAS CONTRUCTED FROM HEMP! On his large estate, Ford was photographed among his hemp fields. The car, 'grown from the soil,' had hemp plastic panels whose impact strength was 10 times stronger than steel; Popular Mechanics, 1941.

* Hemp called 'Billion Dollar Crop.' It was the first time a cash crop had a business potential to exceed a billion dollars; Popular Mechanics, Feb., 1938.

* Mechanical Engineering Magazine (Feb. 1938) published an article entitled 'The Most Profitable and Desirable Crop that Can be Grown.' It stated that if hemp was cultivated using 20th Century technology, it would be the single largest agricultural crop in the U.S. and the rest of the world.

The following information comes directly from the United States Department of Agriculture's 1942 14-minute film encouraging and instructing 'patriotic American farmers' to grow 350,000 acres of hemp each year for the war effort:

'...(When) Grecian temples were new, hemp was already old in the service of mankind. For thousands of years, even then, this plant had been grown for cordage and cloth in China and elsewhere in the East. For centuries prior to about 1850, all the ships that sailed the western seas were rigged with hempen rope and sails. For the sailor, no less than the hangman, hemp was indispensable...

...Now with Philippine and East Indian sources of hemp in the hands of the Japanese...American hemp must meet the needs of our Army and Navy as well as of our industries...

...the Navy's rapidly dwindling reserves. When that is gone, American hemp will go on duty again; hemp for mooring ships; hemp for tow lines; hemp for tackle and gear; hemp for countless naval uses both on ship and shore. Just as in the days when Old Ironsides sailed the seas victorious with her hempen shrouds and hempen sails. Hemp for victory!'

Certified proof from the Library of Congress; found by the research of Jack Herer, refuting claims of other government agencies that the 1942 USDA film 'Hemp for Victory' did not exist.

Hemp cultivation and production do not harm the environment. The USDA Bulletin #404 concluded that hemp produces 4 times as much pulp as wood with at least 4 to 7 times less pollution.

From Popular Mechanics, Feb. 1938:
'It has a short growing season...It can be grown in any state...The long roots penetrate and break the soil to leave it in perfect condition for the next year's crop. The dense shock of leaves, 8 to 12 feet above the ground, chokes out weeds.

...hemp, this new crop can add immeasurably to American agriculture and industry.'

In the 1930s, innovations in farm machinery would have caused an industrial revolution when applied to hemp. This single resource could have created millions of new jobs generating thousands of quality products. Hemp, if not made illegal, would have brought America out of the Great Depression.

William Randolph Hearst (Citizen Kane) and the Hearst Paper Manufacturing Division of Kimberly Clark owned vast acreage of timberlands. The Hearst Company supplied most paper products. Patty Hearst's grandfather, a destroyer of nature for his own personal profit, stood to lose billions because of hemp.

In 1937, Dupont patented the processes to make plastics from oil and coal. Dupont's Annual Report urged stockholders to invest in its new petrochemical division. Synthetics such as plastics, cellophane, celluloid, methanol, nylon, rayon, Dacron, etc., could now be made from oil. Natural hemp industrialization would have ruined over 80% of Dupont's business.

1. A murderer is condemned to death.

He has to choose between three rooms.

The first is full of raging fires,

the second is full of assassins with loaded guns,

and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years.

Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and grey when you throw it away ?

4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?

5. This is an unusual paragraph.

I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!

THE ANSWERS TO ALL FIVE RIDDLES ARE BELOW:

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Answers:

1. The third room.

Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead. That one was easy, right?

2. The woman was a photographer.

She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung).

3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.

4. Sure you can name three consecutive days,

yesterday, today, and tomorrow!

5. The letter e,

which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.