I know the EBW user video was a big hit, but I thought I'd try something a little different. I'd like to make a gallery of user pets. I don't like showing my face on this site as if it's Myspace/Facebook personally (but if you are on mine, you can see what I look like so I think that's good enough).

I was sitting here missing my cat...and I came up with the idea (I know, I'm a wuss...but can only have caged animals so my fiance and I got ourselves a couple rats).

Whoever's interested, e-mail me at esimeneta@yahoo.com, with the subject as your user name. Also include the pets' name somewhere in the message too.

Does ANYONE remember those stuffed animal cats they used to have for kids a long time ago with the ball inside the cat's head and when you moved it around it sounded like it was purring??

I was going to make my own personal gallery of old shit that I remembered as a kid (yeah, I'm so copying the "A Trip Down Memory Lane" gallery, only as my own). And this shit is bothering me.

Also, there was those bodysuits...the ones that were like a bathing suit that snapped at the crotch and you wore pants with them.

And those nasty leggings that had the strap that goes under the feet.

Anyone remember any of those names? I refuse to go to sleep til I know (and don't fuck with me either...I need my sleep)

I don't know who this retard is, but he uploaded this picture of my brother's eyelid with my name tattooed to it (no, it's not real, we're just lame and it was my birthday so my mom bought me "Emily" tattoos to be stupid. And yes, that's my name).

I typed in "killerisme" in search for shits and giggles and he had this uploaded...5 fucking times. I can't even think of how he got the picture in the first place.

Any mods that MAY be reading this be able to delete them? Or even delete his profile for just being a faggot?

I believe this is him: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/857473/

Honestly though, I'd rather write here than anywhere else. Why? Because I have a problem that people will either consider stupid, silly...or who knows, maybe they'd even understand.

I wrote almost a year ago how I was working at the gas station and I fainted at work. I had some infections, but I still think it had something to do with my hypoglycemia. I ate a little that day, and I was actually eating a banana while it happened (and no, I didn't faint with a banana in my mouth. I dropped it and ran to the bathroom thinking I was going to puke but fainted instead).

I took over a month off of work and when I got back, I started having panic attacks at work. I would have to call someone in, which really pissed off my store manager. Everything gradually got worse after that. I got fired because I was $20 short (funny cause I recounted all the money myself and I was right on, but where the managers count the money, there are no cameras...still pissed off about that). Luckily I'm getting unemployment for that. And before you criticize me for collecting unemployment, let me explain.

My panic attacks started getting worse. To the point where now I can't even go into a public place. Yep, I developed agoraphobia. I was taking Xanax .5mg only when I have to go out in public, until I found out I was pregnant so I stopped (both times). Now this second time, it's so much worse. I'm not so bad where I can't even walk to the mailbox or anything. Just being in public places and having this trap feeling like I can't escape, and I start panicking. I still take Zoloft 100mg which is safe, but it doesn't help that at all.

ANYWAYS, my question is...does anyone know anyone that has/had this problem or maybe you have yourself? I used to be the most relaxed person in the world and now I'm completely the opposite.

The worst part of it all, is I have only told a few people about it because I find it embarrassing and I know people would find it stupid. My parents know what I'm going through because my aunt had it for the last 10 years so they're constantly checking up on me and trying to help out, but they don't know what to do either because of my pregnancy.

I am 24. 

All you insecure haters gettin' up in my grill saying that I'm ugly when you know I'm not! You all know you want some of THIS! Because if I say I'm hot, then I AM hot to you too! And I'll tell you why!

1. One of my boobs is a couple cups bigger than the other. But it's okay! Because some men like small boobs, and others like big ones. So whichever man I'm with, I just turn to the side to make him like me.

2. I onced called a girl hot. This means I'm bisexual.

3. I'm 110lbs and all of it is in my ass. I know my ass is fat, but my fiance loves me anyways.

4. I have to constantly remind people that I'm hot, whether they have seen me in reality or not. This makes people respect and love me, and call me hot like I deserve.

5. I suck up food stamps and cash assistance from the government. Not because I need it and I can't hold a job, but they give it to me because I'm hot!

I could write hundreds more different reasons why I'm hot, but I must go fix up a snack  (to be exact, I'm having some chicken flavored Ramen noodles, a pint of chocolate fudge ice cream, a bag of pork grinds, and a big bottle of egg nog...helps my figure!) and watch some Twilight.

Please love me.

I know, I'm going to get bombarded with "whore" comments, but mind you I've been engaged for a while.

As a lot of you know, on May 14th I had to go in for a D&C because I miscarried after 3 months. The baby was stuck for 3 weeks and I didn't even know. My doctor told me that Aunt Flo wouldn't come for a visit for 6-8 weeks after that and I should be careful because after miscarrying, 1 in 4 women miscarry again. Also, Aunt Flo was going to be extremely brutal.

A few weeks ago, I had the "stomach flu." I talked to my mom and mentioned it and she said she just had the same thing. I was a month late of my supposed period. So since the "flu" didn't go away, I took 2 pregnancy tests on the 5th, which both turned out positive.

I heard that after a miscarriage that you would still show up as positive, so I was a little unsure, but yet, I didn't...leak yet.

I had this horrible feeling that this was going to happen again, so I wasn't even excited at all. Just horribly nervous. I called the doctor the next day and the next available day he had was this past Tuesday. All they did was give me another test, which came out positive.

They set me up for an ultrasound for the next day (Wednesday). They wanted to get me in as soon as possible because of what happened last time. Long story short, I went in, I heard the heartbeat, I seen the pictures (which it looks like a little blog...and one of the pictures it looks like a rabbit), and everything was perfectly healthy.

So yep, as of today, I'm 7 weeks and 3 days along. Now I can actually be happy about it.

As if any of you really care, I'm still alive. I don't have the internet which can really blow sometimes.

But that's not the reason for this blog. I have a severely lame family. My brother started Clarence. If he gets enough fans on Facebook, I think he's going to start a website of him. I volunteered to help, but I'm kind of annoying so he'd probably get rid of me after five minutes. But that's my job as a sista.

Anywho, this is Clarence. Please help me spread the word and get him more fans on Facebook. If you don't have a Facebook then well...that's okay.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/81030470/

And as for the Facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Clarence/401520515320

If you don't like him, then you're an idiot.

If any of you have read my last blog, you would've read about my being pregnant. It was a huge shock to me, but shortly after, I was extremely excited. It's strange how your mind changes so much so quickly. You get everything planned out, you start thinking of names, then you start daydreaming about all the things you're going to do with the kid, etc etc.

Well, long story short, I lost it. I'd explain everything but I'm not really in the mood to write right now. I had to tell everyone immediatly that it happened (actually I found this out on Wednesday) before everyone asked how I was feeling, if I found out how far along I am, and talks about how excited they are for me. I've never been so depressed.

My doctor told me that I was three months along, and the baby had died about 3 weeks ago (they were able to tell through the ultrasound). All the tests they've done on me came back as if I was perfectly healthy, so I'm not sure what went wrong. I had a choice to miscarry naturally or get a DNC (pretty much an abortion). I chose the DNC. I couldn't imagine going through with it naturally. The pain wasn't any worries at the time, but just having to see everything and knowing that it's my child.

I had the surgery done yesterday morning. They gave me pills that I had to take (vaginally too...isn't that sick and just plain messed up?) which gave me extreme cramping. Definitely one of the worst pains I've ever felt.

Anyways, today I feel 10 times worse than I did yesterday. My whole body is in pain and all I've been doing is laying down...which I probably should be doing anyways.

I'm starting to ramble. They gave me some Darvacets to ease my pain and luckily it's working for the most part. I'll explain everything another day when I'm feeling a little better and I can actually think.

God, I hate that term. Knocked up. Seems so trampy.

So here's the latest news from muah. A couple of months ago my boyfriend and I got engaged. We decided to wait on announcing it until we got better paying jobs (well...I haven't worked in four months, but I'm finishing up school) and then we'd tell the families, friends, etc. Plans of when? No, we haven't decided yet, but there's no hurry.

Most of you know that a while back I collapsed at my shitty job and had all these random problems since. Up until a month ago I was better. I had something wrong with my bladder and kidneys that the retarded doctors couldn't pinpoint, but I ended up healing just fine over time.

A few weeks ago, I thought I was going to be on the rag (yeah yeah, all you immature guys, go ahead and get all grossed out). I had the usual cramps, sore breasts, bloating, and I started getting moody. The cramps didn't go away after a while. Not normal cramps like females usually get, but random short, minor ones. Suddenly some of my bras weren't fitting anymore. Not to mention, I was peeing constantly. I thought maybe (MAYBE) it was my bladder. I decided to take a pregnancy test that I left over at my sister's house. I woke up at 5:00am one morning while babysitting (I babysit my twin nephews every weekday so I stay over at my sister's almost every day) and sure enough, it came out positive. I guess I was in denial the whole time, which I should've checked sooner. I thought that maybe it just wasn't right. You know those shitty name brand pregnancy tests they sell? It was one of those, so I didn't think it was too accurate.

When I got home, my fiance and I went to the store and got a couple Clearblues (the digital ones that strictly says "pregnant" or "not pregnant") and took those. Sure enough, yep, pregnant.

The next day, I told my parents about the engagement part, but I knew I didn't have much time to get away from announcing my pregnancy. I've always been a petite girl, so I'd be fucked. I was too much of a pansy to tell them for the first few days, but I finally did yesterday. I thought they'd kill me but they seemed really happy. They know I'm actually a softy and love kids. I've dealt with my twin nephews (who both have Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy) since day one.

Got my first morning sickness yesterday. Ugh, not fun.

The one thing I'm really worried about...if anyone knows much about Muscular Dystrophy, my sister ended up being a carrier, which means I might be. Scary shit. It's painful to watch a small child (well in my case, two small children) everyday struggling to walk, their brains deteriorating, knowing they'll be gone in about 10 more years.

Fuck, now I'm getting depressed. But on a more positive note, I'm started to get a little excited. Which is weird because I always dreaded at the thought of becoming pregnant.

After submitting a couple things, one of my pictures had a mark next to one of them say "This media is controversial!" I never noticed seeing that anywhere before. Anyone know exactly what the hell that's supposed to even mean? (And yes, I know what controversial means, but they selected certain ones and putting that there just doesn't make any sense to me).

I really have to pee. And you know what? The blog section has been so fucking boring lately.

Truth is, I really have to pee. Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spamspam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam

I'm really sorry.