milestyles55 on eBaums World http://www.ebaumsworld.com/milestyles55 Latest media uploaded to eBaums World by milestyles55 en-us Sun, 27 May 2012 22:00:15 -0400 Sun, 27 May 2012 22:00:15 -0400 81639609 Wed, 06 Jul 2011 15:56:07 -0400 [Blog] The Best Way to Get a Blow Job Added: 2011-07-06 15:56:07



I would like to tap into the vast knowledge and experience of my fellow ebaumers.  What is the best way to go about getting oral sex from your significant other?  I've been experimenting with various methods and approaches for years, only to find that some techniques work better than others.  Here are some of my findings:

The Wake Her Up With a Cock Moustache Technique:
This technique entails pulling out your cock and rubbing it on her upper lip until she wakes up.  This is not recommended for unfamiliar relationships, or females without a sense of humor.  The blow job success rate of this technique is low to moderate, although your chances will increase directly proportional to the amount of alcohol consumed by her prior.

The Wake Her Up By Going Down on Her Technique:
This technique is pretty self-explanatory.  It is important to note though, that the success or failure of this technique will be determined within the first ten seconds of launch, which is basically how long it will take her to figure out what's going on.  This is one of those all-or-nothing approaches.  If she's receptive off the bat, buckle down because she's guaranteed to reciprocate.  If she's not, and rejects your advances, you might as well get out of bed and go for a long jog because you ain't getting shit.

The Buy Her Something Really Nice Technique:
This technique requires an undesirable amount of your money to be spent on a ridiculous gift that she will love.  If the words "OMG I LOVE IT" are uttered while eyes well up with tears, an incredible blow job is imminent.

The Take Her Out and Romance Her Technique:
This technique also requires an undesirable amount of your money to be spent, in addition to investing a certain amount of time doing things that you don't really want to be doing (i.e. buying flowers, going to a fine dining establishment, sitting through a show / ballet that you have no interest in seeing, going out dancing, etc.).  Although this technique requires investment of time and money, if done properly, you will have blown your load at least once prior to reaching your final destination.

The Do All the Work for Her Technique:
 Although this technique is unbelievably successful, it should be used sparingly, as it can lead to undesirable expectations.  This technique involves taking on and completing as many tasks, chores, or responsibilities that would normally fall on her.  For some strange reason, doing the cooking, cleaning, washing, and such, is a very power aphrodisiac for women.  Be forewarned, although you may have your bones jumped in the midst of completing these tasks, you must maintain this as a once-in-blue-moon approach.  Otherwise, you will end up doing her work for her on the regular with little-to-no chance of blow job occurring.

The Sit Through an Unbearably Awful Chick Movie Technique:
All this technique requires is patience.  If you can totally zone out on the couch while letting her get lost in the bullshit on the TV screen, you're golden.  Some attention must be paid to when the movie ends.  If you see her wiping her eyes, grab a tissue and tenderly wipe away her tears, then kiss her gently on the forehead.  Before you know it, COCK = BLOWN.


Although there are many more techniques to review, that's all for now friends.  Please feel free to share your experiences and approaches to getting head as well.  Input from the female ebaumers is more than welcome and appreciated.

Have a good day bishes,

Miles






 
]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/blogs/view/81639609/ The Best Way to Get a Blow Job <br /><br /><br />I would like to tap into the vast knowledge and experience of my fellow ebaumers.  What is the best way to go about getting oral sex from your significant other?  I've been experimenting with various methods and approaches for years, only to find that some techniques work better than others.  Here are some of my findings:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">The Wake Her Up With a Cock Moustache Technique:<br /></span></span>This technique entails pulling out your cock and rubbing it on her upper lip until she wakes up.  This is not recommended for unfamiliar relationships, or females without a sense of humor.  The blow job success rate of this technique is low to moderate, although your chances will increase directly proportional to the amount of alcohol consumed by her prior.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;font-weight:bold;">The Wake Her Up By Going Down on Her Technique:</span><br />This technique is pretty self-explanatory.  It is important to note though, that the success or failure of this technique will be determined within the first ten seconds of launch, which is basically how long it will take her to figure out what's going on.  This is one of those all-or-nothing approaches.  If she's receptive off the bat, buckle down because she's guaranteed to reciprocate.  If she's not, and rejects your advances, you might as well get out of bed and go for a long jog because you ain't getting shit.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Buy Her Something Really Nice Technique:<br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;"></span></span></span></span></span>This technique requires an undesirable amount of your money to be spent on a ridiculous gift that she will love.  If the words "OMG I LOVE IT" are uttered while eyes well up with tears, an incredible blow job is imminent.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;font-weight:bold;">The Take Her Out and Romance Her Technique:</span><br />This technique also requires an undesirable amount of your money to be spent, in addition to investing a certain amount of time doing things that you don't really want to be doing (i.e. buying flowers, going to a fine dining establishment, sitting through a show / ballet that you have no interest in seeing, going out dancing, etc.).  Although this technique requires investment of time and money, if done properly, you will have blown your load at least once prior to reaching your final destination.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;font-style:italic;">The Do All the Work for Her Technique:</span><br /> Although this technique is unbelievably successful, it should be used sparingly, as it can lead to undesirable expectations.  This technique involves taking on and completing as many tasks, chores, or responsibilities that would normally fall on her.  For some strange reason, doing the cooking, cleaning, washing, and such, is a very power aphrodisiac for women.  Be forewarned, although you may have your bones jumped in the midst of completing these tasks, you must maintain this as a once-in-blue-moon approach.  Otherwise, you will end up doing her work for her on the regular with little-to-no chance of blow job occurring.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;font-weight:bold;">The Sit Through an Unbearably Awful Chick Movie Technique:</span><br />All this technique requires is patience.  If you can totally zone out on the couch while letting her get lost in the bullshit on the TV screen, you're golden.  Some attention must be paid to when the movie ends.  If you see her wiping her eyes, grab a tissue and tenderly wipe away her tears, then kiss her gently on the forehead.  Before you know it, COCK = BLOWN.<br /><br /><br />Although there are many more techniques to review, that's all for now friends.  Please feel free to share your experiences and approaches to getting head as well.  Input from the female ebaumers is more than welcome and appreciated.<br /><br />Have a good day bishes,<br /><br />Miles<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> <br /> 81627421 Thu, 30 Jun 2011 09:18:25 -0400 [Blog] PepperPeanut and milestyles55 Had a Convo Added: 2011-06-30 09:18:25



[3:43am] PepperPeanut:  greetings Mr. styles55

[3:45am] milestyles55:  what's up dude?

[3:46am] PepperPeanut:  i was just wondering if you would consider gracing us with your massive skills and become blog mod.

[3:46am] milestyles55:  i don't know.  what does it pay?

[3:46am] PepperPeanut:  well, um, nothing.

[3:46am] milestyles55:  nothing?  wtf would i want to lend out my valuable time for nothing?

[3:46am] PepperPeanut:  i can't answer that question for you Mr. styles55.  all i can tell you is that WE NEED YOU.  DESPERATELY.

[3:46am] milestyles55:  hmmm.  i heard that being an ebw mod results in chicks throwing pussy at you.  is that true?

[3:47am] PepperPeanut:  absolutely!  i'm covered in pussy as we speak.

[3:47am] milestyles55:  Does neko own a vagina?

[3:47am] PepperPeanut: i have no idea

[3:47am] milestyles55:  have you discussed the "blog mod" issue with the other mods and admin?

[3:47am] PepperPeanut:  yes.  it's unanimous.  we're positive that you're the man for the job.

[3:48am] milestyles55:  i'll tell you what.  i'll consider taking on the job if you make Garadain President of the Blog section.

[3:48am] PepperPeanut:  only say the word Mr. styles55, and it shall be yours.

[3:49am] milestyles55:  show me your tits.

[3:49am] PepperPeanut: 

[3:49am] milestyles55:  that's gross dude.  i was just kidding.

[3:50am] PepperPeanut:  hahahahaha  who are you anyway?

[3:50am] milestyles55:  i am MILESTYLES55.  NEW BLOG SHERIFF IN TOWN.

[3:50am] PepperPeanut:  i think i love you Mr. styles55

[3:51am] milestyles55:  alright dude.  let's just cut that shit out.  right now.

[3:52am] PepperPeanut:  sorry Mr. styles55.  no homo.

[3:53am] milestyles55:  sure buddy.  sure.  i'm out.

You are now offline.
]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/blogs/view/81627421/ PepperPeanut and milestyles55 Had a Convo <br /><p><br /></p><p><br /></p> <p>[3:43am] PepperPeanut:  greetings Mr. styles55<br /></p> <p>[3:45am] milestyles55:  what's up dude?<br /></p> <p>[3:46am] PepperPeanut:  i was just wondering if you would consider gracing us with your massive skills and become blog mod.<br /></p> <p>[3:46am] milestyles55:  i don't know.  what does it pay?<br /></p> <p>[3:46am] PepperPeanut:  well, um, nothing.<br /></p> <p>[3:46am] milestyles55:  nothing?  wtf would i want to lend out my valuable time for nothing?</p> <p>[3:46am] PepperPeanut:  i can't answer that question for you Mr. styles55.  all i can tell you is that WE NEED YOU.  DESPERATELY.<br /></p> <p>[3:46am] milestyles55:  hmmm.  i heard that being an ebw mod results in chicks throwing pussy at you.  is that true?<br /></p> <p>[3:47am] PepperPeanut:  absolutely!  i'm covered in pussy as we speak.<br /></p> <p>[3:47am] milestyles55:  Does neko own a vagina?</p> <p>[3:47am] PepperPeanut: i have no idea</p> <p>[3:47am] milestyles55:  have you discussed the "blog mod" issue with the other mods and admin?<br /></p> <p>[3:47am] PepperPeanut:  yes.  it's unanimous.  we're positive that you're the man for the job.<br /></p> <p>[3:48am] milestyles55:  i'll tell you what.  i'll consider taking on the job if you make Garadain President of the Blog section.<br /></p> <p>[3:48am] PepperPeanut:  only say the word Mr. styles55, and it shall be yours.<br /></p> <p>[3:49am] milestyles55:  show me your tits.<br /></p> <p>[3:49am] PepperPeanut:  <br /></p> <p>[3:49am] milestyles55:  that's gross dude.  i was just kidding.<br /></p> <p>[3:50am] PepperPeanut:  hahahahaha  who are you anyway?</p> <p>[3:50am] milestyles55:  i am MILESTYLES55.  NEW BLOG SHERIFF IN TOWN.<br /></p> <p>[3:50am] PepperPeanut:  i think i love you Mr. styles55<br /></p> <p>[3:51am] milestyles55:  alright dude.  let's just cut that shit out.  right now.</p><p>[3:52am] PepperPeanut:  sorry Mr. styles55.  no homo.</p>[3:53am] milestyles55:  sure buddy.  sure.  i'm out.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">You are now offline.</span><br /> 81621120 Mon, 27 Jun 2011 21:43:25 -0400 [Blog] milestyles55 for Blog Mod Added: 2011-06-27 21:43:25


Good evening good people of ebaum's world.  I would like to throw my hat into the ring as candidate for blog mod.  Why the fuck not? 

Please allow me to present to you my platform laying out my policies that should lead you to choose me as your mod for this section.

I think I'm at least somewhat familiar with every member who's posted more than one blog, or non-spam, in this section of the website.

I think I've showed that I can deal with those who fuck with this section swiftly.

I think that creativity should not be stifled here, but copypasta should be suffocated.

I think that everyone should have their say, unless their say becomes detrimental to this section, it's members, the mods, or the site in general.

I think it's time for NO NEW FUCKING TAXES.

I think that Jokes belong in the JOKE SECTION.

I think that embeds are fine, especially if you're willing to get embed with me.

I think it's time for someone, anyone, to lobby for a blog to be featured (it's only been years since this has happened).

I think it's possible for me to take an objective stance on all issues and members, if nominated to this position (you'll have to give me the benefit of the doubt on this one).

I think that the members of this section are like a family.  Some fathers, some mothers, some brothers, some sisters, and some little red-headed step children, all requiring equal representation.

I think I am on this site more than humanly possible for the average member.

I think it's time for new, annoying female members to actually show tits, or GTFO.

I BELIEVE that I can reunite the bloggers of ebaum's world, new and old, young and weathered, fresh and smelly, gay and straight, TO RESTORE THIS SECTION TO THE GLORY IT  HAS ONCE KNOWN.

In conclusion,

I think it's safe to say that not everyone who frequents this section loves me, but my question to you my fellow users is, how many of you actually hate me?  Please comment if you do, so that I may deal with you individually.

Thank you for your consideration and for your time,

Lick bag and have a good night bishes.

Miles


]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/blogs/view/81621120/ milestyles55 for Blog Mod <br /><br />Good evening good people of ebaum's world.  I would like to throw my hat into the ring as candidate for blog mod.  Why the fuck not?  <br /><br />Please allow me to present to you my platform laying out my policies that should lead you to choose me as your mod for this section.<br /><br />I think I'm at least somewhat familiar with every member who's posted more than one blog, or non-spam, in this section of the website.<br /><br />I think I've showed that I can deal with those who fuck with this section swiftly.<br /><br />I think that creativity should not be stifled here, but copypasta should be suffocated.<br /><br />I think that everyone should have their say, unless their say becomes detrimental to this section, it's members, the mods, or the site in general.<br /><br />I think it's time for NO NEW FUCKING TAXES.<br /><br />I think that Jokes belong in the JOKE SECTION.<br /><br />I think that embeds are fine, especially if you're willing to get embed with me.<br /><br />I think it's time for someone, anyone, to lobby for a blog to be featured (it's only been years since this has happened).<br /><br />I think it's possible for me to take an objective stance on all issues and members, if nominated to this position (you'll have to give me the benefit of the doubt on this one).<br /><br />I think that the members of this section are like a family.  Some fathers, some mothers, some brothers, some sisters, and some little red-headed step children, all requiring equal representation.<br /><br />I think I am on this site more than humanly possible for the average member.<br /><br />I think it's time for new, annoying female members to actually show tits, or GTFO.<br /><br />I BELIEVE that I can reunite the bloggers of ebaum's world, new and old, young and weathered, fresh and smelly, gay and straight, TO RESTORE THIS SECTION TO THE GLORY IT  HAS ONCE KNOWN.<br /><br />In conclusion,<br /><br />I think it's safe to say that not everyone who frequents this section loves me, but my question to you my fellow users is, how many of you actually hate me?  Please comment if you do, so that I may deal with you individually.<br /><br />Thank you for your consideration and for your time,<br /><br />Lick bag and have a good night bishes.<br /><br />Miles<br /><br /><br /> 81614065 Fri, 24 Jun 2011 01:12:45 -0400 [Blog] SHOCKING INVESTIGATIVE REPORTING Added: 2011-06-24 01:12:45




Good people of Ebaum's World, please allow me to present to you SHOCKING BREAKING NEWS. 

Displayed below, is a video of an intellectually challenged, man-monkey creature, with hair dyed and curled in pathetic wannabee Superman fashion, revealing the horrific filth of its living conditions (see carpet that hasn't been cleaned since the beginning of time), and demonstrating an EXTREMELY RARE interaction with pussy (UNBELIEVABLY RARE - PAY ATTENTION).







Do not take this lightly.  Association with this creature may result in extreme delusion, retardation, and dirt-baggitry beyond belief.





Editor's Note:

Seriously.  Did you see that fucking carpet?  Little less gay-ass productions on the computer and a little more productive time with a vacuum would do wonders,



Have a good night bishes

]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/blogs/view/81614065/ SHOCKING INVESTIGATIVE REPORTING <br /><br /><br /><br />Good people of Ebaum's World, please allow me to present to you SHOCKING BREAKING NEWS.  <br /><br />Displayed below, is a video of an intellectually challenged, man-monkey creature, with hair dyed and curled in pathetic wannabee Superman fashion, revealing the horrific filth of its living conditions (see carpet that hasn't been cleaned since the beginning of time), and demonstrating an EXTREMELY RARE interaction with pussy (UNBELIEVABLY RARE - PAY ATTENTION).<br /><br /><br /><embed src="http://images.multiply.com/multiply/multv.swf" flashvars="first_video_id=spaceeagle:video:2914&amp;base_uri=multiply.com&amp;is_owned=1&amp;security=lZvgK%2C0m8kSQv%2BaoFQHmxg" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="opaque" height="337" width="600" allowscriptaccess="never" allownetworking="internal" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Do not take this lightly.  Association with this creature may result in extreme delusion, retardation, and dirt-baggitry beyond belief.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Editor's Note:<br /><br />Seriously.  Did you see that fucking carpet?  Little less gay-ass productions on the computer and a little more productive time with a vacuum would do wonders,<br /><br /><br /><br />Have a good night bishes<br /><br /> 81609659 Wed, 22 Jun 2011 14:09:58 -0400 [Blog] Deck the Halls - SpaceChicken Style Added: 2011-06-22 14:09:58


Troll the blogs with gay-ass writing
Troll Troll Troll Troll Troll... Troll Troll Troll Troll
Lose the fights that you are fighting
Troll Troll Troll Troll Troll... Troll Troll Troll Troll

Post hilarious loser pictures on a public domain
Troll Troll Troll... Troll Troll Troll... Troll Troll Troll
Prove to the world that you are insane
Troll Troll Troll Troll Troll... Troll Troll Troll Troll










Everyones got a little captain in em!
]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/blogs/view/81609659/ Deck the Halls - SpaceChicken Style <br /><br />Troll the blogs with gay-ass writing<br />Troll Troll Troll Troll Troll... Troll Troll Troll Troll<br />Lose the fights that you are fighting<br />Troll Troll Troll Troll Troll... Troll Troll Troll Troll<br /><br />Post hilarious loser pictures on a public domain<br />Troll Troll Troll... Troll Troll Troll... Troll Troll Troll<br />Prove to the world that you are insane<br />Troll Troll Troll Troll Troll... Troll Troll Troll Troll<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Everyones got a little <em>captain</em> in em!<br /> 81593579 Thu, 16 Jun 2011 13:31:57 -0400 [Blog] Recognize This "Blogger"? Added: 2011-06-16 13:31:57



Good Day fine people of ebaum's world.  Here is a little quiz for you today.  Can you guess who this is?






Roman-Cal003.JPG?et=gTjW3D9SZtkahfQSgz2c


Yes.  That's an old dude in his sandals and underwear, leaning on a sword.






Roman-Cal004.JPG?et=D6gZO7KpkkhtrKP1vuBr

Is he flexing?  LOFUCKINGL






PICT0074.JPG?et=lC9639crjCPhpVWtpeaa1w&n

Now he's holding a...um...I don't know.  The clutter is extremely distracting.









PICT0072.JPG?et=VTq63ph1eWwfulh9eCUFiw&n

Is that a stripped down umbrella he's holding?  That's some pretty sweet computer equipment he's standing on.






PICT0073.JPG?et=kViMJLwtPAK%2BM7dvZOSUwA

Damn.  Don't you hate when the flash goes off and you're not ready?



There you have it.  So, can anyone tell me who this is?  I'll give you a hint.  He's annoying, insane, and likes to come across as knowing, politically savvy, a lover, a fighter, a poet, and a musician (fucking hilarious).

Well, that's all for now.

Have a great day bishes.





]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/blogs/view/81593579/ Recognize This "Blogger"? <br /><br /><br />Good Day fine people of ebaum's world.  Here is a little quiz for you today.  Can you guess who this is?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://multiply.com/mu/spaceeagle/image/10/photos/67/500x500/1/Roman-Cal003.JPG?et=gTjW3D9SZtkahfQSgz2c1Q&amp;nmid=283518925" alt="Roman-Cal003.JPG?et=gTjW3D9SZtkahfQSgz2c" /><br /><br /><br />Yes.  That's an old dude in his sandals and underwear, leaning on a sword.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://multiply.com/mu/spaceeagle/image/2/photos/67/500x500/2/Roman-Cal004.JPG?et=D6gZO7KpkkhtrKP1vuBrLA&amp;nmid=283518925" alt="Roman-Cal004.JPG?et=D6gZO7KpkkhtrKP1vuBr" /><br /><br />Is he flexing?  LOFUCKINGL<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://multiply.com/mu/spaceeagle/image/5/photos/67/500x500/3/PICT0074.JPG?et=lC9639crjCPhpVWtpeaa1w&amp;nmid=283518925" alt="PICT0074.JPG?et=lC9639crjCPhpVWtpeaa1w&amp;n" /><br /><br />Now he's holding a...um...I don't know.  The clutter is extremely distracting.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://multiply.com/mu/spaceeagle/image/2/photos/67/500x500/4/PICT0072.JPG?et=VTq63ph1eWwfulh9eCUFiw&amp;nmid=283518925" alt="PICT0072.JPG?et=VTq63ph1eWwfulh9eCUFiw&amp;n" /><br /><br />Is that a stripped down umbrella he's holding?  That's some pretty sweet computer equipment he's standing on.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://multiply.com/mu/spaceeagle/image/1/photos/67/500x500/5/PICT0073.JPG?et=kViMJLwtPAK%2BM7dvZOSUwA&amp;nmid=283518925" alt="PICT0073.JPG?et=kViMJLwtPAK%2BM7dvZOSUwA" /><br /><br />Damn.  Don't you hate when the flash goes off and you're not ready?<br /><br /><br /><br />There you have it.  So, can anyone tell me who this is?  I'll give you a hint.  He's annoying, insane, and likes to come across as knowing, politically savvy, a lover, a fighter, a poet, and a musician (fucking hilarious).<br /><br />Well, that's all for now.<br /><br />Have a great day bishes.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> 81560972 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 22:17:40 -0400 [Blog] ENOUGH IS ENOUGH SPACE EAGLE Added: 2011-06-01 22:17:40


Dear Mr. SpaceEagle,

I am writing this blog on behalf of 97% of registered ebw users who have read your blogs.

First off, I'd like to clarify a few issues.  You seem like a good guy.  You're honest, passionate, articulate, and persistent .  Ebaum's World values none of these traits.  This is a humor website.  A fucked up type of humor website.  If you don't believe me, just check out the live chat.  You will rapidly gain understanding.

I'm only trying to save you grief.  No one, and I mean NO ONE here will be swayed by your bullshit agenda.  We get it.  You're convinced that corporations are the devil incarnate.  Government is fucking the people.  Peace, love, Jesus, blah, blah, blah.

Where the fuck did you get the notion that posting 42 socialistic, politically motivated blogs a day on a fucked up humor site would be a good idea?

"The Willie Nelson Research Institute"?  Are you fucking serious?  News flash my friend.  YOU ARE INSANE AND NOBODY HERE GIVES A FUCK.

The more you post (a.k.a. spam), this blog section with your retarded bullshit, the more feelings of hate you will evoke.  The users here may seem retarded, but don't be fooled.  They will fuck your mind while your sleep.  I'm just trying to give you a heads ups.

Sorry that I'm the only one with the balls to break it to you, but you need to lighten up or GTFO.

May the Force be with you,

Miles. ]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/blogs/view/81560972/ ENOUGH IS ENOUGH SPACE EAGLE <br /><br />Dear Mr. SpaceEagle,<br /><br /> I am writing this blog on behalf of 97% of registered ebw users who have read your blogs.<br /><br /> First off, I'd like to clarify a few issues.  You seem like a good guy.  You're honest, passionate, articulate, and persistent .  Ebaum's World values none of these traits.  This is a humor website.  A fucked up type of humor website.  If you don't believe me, just check out the live chat.  You will rapidly gain understanding.<br /><br /> I'm only trying to save you grief.  No one, and I mean NO ONE here will be swayed by your bullshit agenda.  We get it.  You're convinced that corporations are the devil incarnate.  Government is fucking the people.  Peace, love, Jesus, blah, blah, blah.<br /><br /> Where the fuck did you get the notion that posting 42 socialistic, politically motivated blogs a day on a fucked up humor site would be a good idea?<br /><br /> "The Willie Nelson Research Institute"?  Are you fucking serious?  News flash my friend.  YOU ARE INSANE AND NOBODY HERE GIVES A FUCK.<br /><br /> The more you post (a.k.a. spam), this blog section with your retarded bullshit, the more feelings of hate you will evoke.  The users here may seem retarded, but don't be fooled.  They will fuck your mind while your sleep.  I'm just trying to give you a heads ups.<br /><br /> Sorry that I'm the only one with the balls to break it to you, but you need to lighten up or GTFO.<br /><br /> May the Force be with you, <br /><br /> Miles. 81556501 Tue, 31 May 2011 13:10:04 -0400 [Blog] Quitting Added: 2011-05-31 13:10:04


I've never been a quitter.  Once I set my mind on something, I'll go to lengths most people wouldn't even consider to get it.  For one of the few times in my life, I'm quitting on something that I've held near and dear for a long time.  Smoking.

I used to smoke a pack to a pack and a half a day.  I haven't had a cigarette in 30 days.  This has been the hardest fucking thing I've ever done in my life, hands down.  The first week I felt physically ill at times.  I would rip someone a new asshole for looking at me the wrong way.  Everyone close to me stayed away from me, to give me space, and probably because they were a little afraid.

The funny thing is, I'm starting to feel fucking fantastic.  I was always physically active and I thought I was in decent condition.  I was wrong.  My stamina is improving, my energy level is off the charts, and I sleep a lot less.  I can't wait to see where I'm at after six months.

Why did I quit?  It wasn't because people told me to.  When someone would tell me that smoking is bad for me, I'd tell them to go fuck themselves and mind their own business.  The one thing that got to me was seeing my three year old son take the straw out of his drinking box and start hauling on it like a cigarette.  It's one thing to fuck up my own shit, but I didn't want to influence my child to do the same.

Regardless, I just need to say that I have delved in various addictive substances in my time, but none were as hard to shake as smoking cigarettes.  Judging by the withdrawal, I think it's safe to say smoking is the devil.  At this point, I'm going to go ahead and say that I'm not going to have another cigarette again...until I retire (I guess I'm not a total quitter after all).

When my kids are grown and set up, and I retire, I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want.  You're supposed to enjoy your golden years, aren't you?  That time is many years away though.  Until then, I guess I'm going to have to get used to walking around with pink lungs and porn star stamina.

Have a good day bishes.



   
]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/blogs/view/81556501/ Quitting <br /><br />I've never been a quitter.  Once I set my mind on something, I'll go to lengths most people wouldn't even consider to get it.  For one of the few times in my life, I'm quitting on something that I've held near and dear for a long time.  Smoking.<br /><br />I used to smoke a pack to a pack and a half a day.  I haven't had a cigarette in 30 days.  This has been the hardest fucking thing I've ever done in my life, hands down.  The first week I felt physically ill at times.  I would rip someone a new asshole for looking at me the wrong way.  Everyone close to me stayed away from me, to give me space, and probably because they were a little afraid.<br /><br />The funny thing is, I'm starting to feel fucking fantastic.  I was always physically active and I thought I was in decent condition.  I was wrong.  My stamina is improving, my energy level is off the charts, and I sleep a lot less.  I can't wait to see where I'm at after six months.<br /><br />Why did I quit?  It wasn't because people told me to.  When someone would tell me that smoking is bad for me, I'd tell them to go fuck themselves and mind their own business.  The one thing that got to me was seeing my three year old son take the straw out of his drinking box and start hauling on it like a cigarette.  It's one thing to fuck up my own shit, but I didn't want to influence my child to do the same.<br /><br />Regardless, I just need to say that I have delved in various addictive substances in my time, but none were as hard to shake as smoking cigarettes.  Judging by the withdrawal, I think it's safe to say smoking is the devil.  At this point, I'm going to go ahead and say that I'm not going to have another cigarette again...until I retire (I guess I'm not a total quitter after all).<br /><br />When my kids are grown and set up, and I retire, I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want.  You're supposed to enjoy your golden years, aren't you?  That time is many years away though.  Until then, I guess I'm going to have to get used to walking around with pink lungs and porn star stamina.<br /><br />Have a good day bishes.<br /><br /><br /><br />    <br /> 81449907 Tue, 19 Apr 2011 21:07:17 -0400 [Blog] FRINGE, STATION, CHIMNEYS, MUSHROOM Added: 2011-04-19 21:07:17



     Look at them.  They think they're so fucking cool.  I've always considered myself one of those on the fringe, on the outside looking in, but this fucking asshole might as well be Dirk Diggler.  He's certainly going to get laid more than a porn star tonight.  Thirty-two points, eighteen rebounds, eleven assists, and six blocked shots.  Fucking neanderthal.  He wouldn't have played in this fucking game if I didn't help him cheat on his last exam. 

     "I owe you a solid brah,,,"  Really?  Well it's time to pay the proverbial piper fuckmeister,

     "Yo Dillon!  Solid game mo' fo'!" 

     His face was stoic.  He grabbed a gram sized mushroom, chewed on it until he gagged, then had the fucking audacity to greet me with, "I can't believe you didn't blow me, faggot..."

     I smiled, raised my arm, and waited for a "high-five" from somebody...anybody...

     Nylon rope - check.  Duct tape - check.  Plastic sheeting - check.  Saws-All - check.  Dry wood - check.  The last person had left the party. 

     Dillon was positioned in his final station.  I slapped him until he woke from his drunken stupor.  He seemed bewildered at his current situation...wrapped up like a redeeming gift.

     "Hey Dill-DOE.  Get it?  You're fucked!  HaHA!"  His screams were surprisingly muffled behind the duct tape.  His limbs were separated from his body easier than I would have imagined.  The only thing I was not prepared for, was the smell of him coming from his parents' chimneys, as I drove away.







Have a good night bishes.



]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/blogs/view/81449907/ FRINGE, STATION, CHIMNEYS, MUSHROOM <br /><br /><br />     Look at them.  They think they're so fucking cool.  I've always considered myself one of those on the fringe, on the outside looking in, but this fucking asshole might as well be Dirk Diggler.  He's certainly going to get laid more than a porn star tonight.  Thirty-two points, eighteen rebounds, eleven assists, and six blocked shots.  Fucking neanderthal.  He wouldn't have played in this fucking game if I didn't help him cheat on his last exam.  <br /><br />     "I owe you a solid brah,,,"  Really?  Well it's time to pay the proverbial piper fuckmeister,<br /><br />     "Yo Dillon!  Solid game mo' fo'!"  <br /><br />     His face was stoic.  He grabbed a gram sized mushroom, chewed on it until he gagged, then had the fucking audacity to greet me with, "I can't believe you didn't blow me, faggot..."<br /><br />     I smiled, raised my arm, and waited for a "high-five" from somebody...anybody...<br /><br />     Nylon rope - check.  Duct tape - check.  Plastic sheeting - check.  Saws-All - check.  Dry wood - check.  The last person had left the party.  <br /><br />     Dillon was positioned in his final station.  I slapped him until he woke from his drunken stupor.  He seemed bewildered at his current situation...wrapped up like a redeeming gift.<br /><br />     "Hey Dill-DOE.  Get it?  You're fucked!  HaHA!"  His screams were surprisingly muffled behind the duct tape.  His limbs were separated from his body easier than I would have imagined.  The only thing I was not prepared for, was the smell of him coming from his parents' chimneys, as I drove away.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Have a good night bishes.<br /><br /><br /><br /> 81414948 Sun, 03 Apr 2011 17:17:53 -0400 [Blog] Confession Time Blog Added: 2011-04-03 17:17:53
OK, here are my alts. milestyles55 is my main account. I'm also PepperPeanut.

Here's my other alts:

Garadain

tomlet

letemdangle

rednote67

sparks156

nyyank257

fetismo

tyaeda

laptopia

GIJoe

MajorFathead

strghtjcktgrl



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]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/blogs/view/81414948/ Confession Time Blog OK, here are my alts. milestyles55 is my main account. I'm also PepperPeanut.<br /><br />Here's my other alts:<br /><br />Garadain<br /><br />tomlet<br /><br />letemdangle<br /><br />rednote67<br /><br />sparks156<br /><br />nyyank257<br /><br />fetismo<br /><br />tyaeda<br /><br />laptopia<br /><br />GIJoe<br /><br />MajorFathead<br /><br />strghtjcktgrl<br /><br /><br /><embed wmode="opaque" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/JRDHmOU97jc?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0" allowfullscreen="true" height="390" width="480" allowscriptaccess="never" allownetworking="internal" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" /><br />00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 <br /><br /><br /> 81368454 Fri, 11 Mar 2011 12:21:41 -0500 [Blog] What milestyles55 Considers Good Music Added: 2011-03-11 12:21:41
Lick bag all.

Since everyone else is throwing their hat into the ring, I thought I'd join the party.  Here is a sampling of what I listen to while cutting the grass stoned.  I have a habit of being drawn to music that evokes memories of doing unbelievably stupid shit that made sense at the time, good friends, and making puppies at work.



I sing this to my boys at bedtime:






This song reminds me of feeling up chicks at the school dance.






This was my wedding song:





The real Man in Black:





And finally, the main focus of my pubescent fap sessions:




WINNING.

]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/blogs/view/81368454/ What milestyles55 Considers Good Music Lick bag all.<br /><br />Since everyone else is throwing their hat into the ring, I thought I'd join the party.  Here is a sampling of what I listen to while cutting the grass stoned.  I have a habit of being drawn to music that evokes memories of doing unbelievably stupid shit that made sense at the time, good friends, and making puppies at work.<br /><br /><br /><br />I sing this to my boys at bedtime:<br /><br /><embed wmode="opaque" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4ITLNzPoEqs?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0" allowfullscreen="true" height="390" width="480" allowscriptaccess="never" allownetworking="internal" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />This song reminds me of feeling up chicks at the school dance.<br /><br /><embed wmode="opaque" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/v2GtrGnAIRk?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0" allowfullscreen="true" height="390" width="480" allowscriptaccess="never" allownetworking="internal" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />This was my wedding song:<br /><br /><embed wmode="opaque" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9VIVSHOQboo?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0" allowfullscreen="true" height="390" width="480" allowscriptaccess="never" allownetworking="internal" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" /><br /><br /><br /><br />The real Man in Black:<br /><br /><embed wmode="opaque" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Aq344ks1ieg?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0" allowfullscreen="true" height="390" width="480" allowscriptaccess="never" allownetworking="internal" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" /><br /><br /><br /><br />And finally, the main focus of my pubescent fap sessions:<br /><br /><embed wmode="opaque" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/hdhonK8NMm8?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0" allowfullscreen="true" height="390" width="480" allowscriptaccess="never" allownetworking="internal" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" /><br /><br /><br />WINNING.<br /><br /> 81363678 Wed, 09 Mar 2011 11:44:26 -0500 [Blog] I Have a Confession to Make Huge Secret Revealed Added: 2011-03-09 11:44:26


Lick bag all.

     If you have ever laughed at, or been offended by, one of my comments, consider yourself honored.  You are in the presence of greatness.  Total bitchin' rockstar from Mars greatness.  I've had my share of hookers, blow, pornstars, and money. 

     Some people say I've lost my mind.  I say, if you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you'd be like, "Dude!  Can't handle it!  Unplug this bastard!"  It fires in a way that's maybe not from this terrestrial realm.

     People can't figure me out, they can't process me, I don't expect them to.  You can't process me with the normal brain.

     Don't resent me.  Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives on the tip of my saber.

     I am battle tested bayonets.

     I think it's time to let you know,




                                                            I AM CHARLIE SHEEN




 








WINNING

]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/blogs/view/81363678/ I Have a Confession to Make Huge Secret Revealed <br /><br />Lick bag all.<br /><br />     If you have ever laughed at, or been offended by, one of my comments, consider yourself honored.  You are in the presence of greatness.  Total bitchin' rockstar from Mars greatness.  I've had my share of hookers, blow, pornstars, and money.  <br /><br />     Some people say I've lost my mind.  I say, if you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you'd be like, "Dude!  Can't handle it!  Unplug this bastard!"  It fires in a way that's maybe not from this terrestrial realm.<br /><br />     People can't figure me out, they can't process me, I don't expect them to.  You can't process me with the normal brain.<br /><br />     Don't resent me.  Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives on the tip of my saber.<br /><br />     I am battle tested bayonets.<br /><br />     I think it's time to let you know, <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br /><br /><br /><br />                                                            I AM CHARLIE SHEEN</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />  <br /><embed src="http://www.ebaumsworld.com/player.swf" flashvars="pageurl=http://www.ebaumsworld.com/audio/play/81363639/&amp;file=http://media.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/audio/383945/81363639.mp3&amp;mediaid=81363639&amp;title=Charlie Sheen Winning Mash Up&amp;tags=&amp;description=Winning&amp;displayheight=325&amp;backcolor=0x0d0d0d&amp;lightoclor=0x336699&amp;frontcolor=0xcccccc&amp;image=http://images.ebaumsworld.com/img/audio.gif&amp;username=milestyles55" wmode="opaque" height="345" width="425" allowscriptaccess="never" allownetworking="internal" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />WINNING<br /><br /> 81336575 Tue, 22 Feb 2011 21:02:10 -0500 [Blog] ROASTED TYAEDA Added: 2011-02-22 21:02:10
Lick bag all.






I'd like to wish "Hello" to my friend Tyaeda,


You talk shit like you're from the Island of Grenada,


You comment like you're a sergeant in Al-Qaeda,


But your blog ideas are just as old as BETA.


I love to read about your hippy philosophy,


But it's as helpful as a colonoscopy,


Your appearance in the "User Video"


Got a lot of views from the eBaums kid-eo's


They love to fap to anything real,


So don't be flattered by their prepubescent zeal.



You stepped up to me one time,


To test the powers of my rhyme,


Big mistake to try to trade,


I left you crying like when you were made.


You had to call upon a mod,


To get me to delete my blog,


Because I made the revelation,


Of your personal information.


This was too much for you to handle,


So you made it out like a major scandal.


I like your feisty personality,


But you had to see reality.


This shit is the Internets,


The less they know the better it gets.


The most important lesson according to your skirts


Is not to take it seriously and get butt hurts..........





Good times bishes.






]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/blogs/view/81336575/ ROASTED TYAEDA Lick bag all.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I'd like to wish "Hello" to my friend Tyaeda,<br /><br /><br /> You talk shit like you're from the Island of Grenada,<br /><br /><br /> You comment like you're a sergeant in Al-Qaeda,<br /><br /><br />But your blog ideas are just as old as BETA.<br /><br /><br />I love to read about your hippy philosophy,<br /><br /><br />But it's as helpful as a colonoscopy,<br /><br /><br />Your appearance in the "User Video"<br /><br /><br />Got a lot of views from the eBaums kid-eo's<br /><br /><br />They love to fap to anything real,<br /><br /><br />So don't be flattered by their prepubescent zeal.<br /><br /><br /><br />You stepped up to me one time,<br /><br /><br />To test the powers of my rhyme, <br /><br /><br />Big mistake to try to trade,<br /><br /><br />I left you crying like when you were made.<br /><br /><br />You had to call upon a mod,<br /><br /><br />To get me to delete my blog, <br /><br /><br />Because I made the revelation,<br /><br /><br />Of your personal information.<br /><br /><br />This was too much for you to handle,<br /><br /><br />So you made it out like a major scandal.<br /><br /><br />I like your feisty personality,<br /><br /><br />But you had to see reality.<br /><br /><br />This shit is the Internets,<br /><br /><br />The less they know the better it gets.<br /><br /><br />The most important lesson according to your skirts<br /><br /><br />Is not to take it seriously and get butt hurts..........<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Good times bishes.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> 81191228 Wed, 17 Nov 2010 22:25:25 -0500 [Blog] deevo25 facinayshun Added: 2010-11-17 22:25:25
Thank you Mr. deevo25/No_U/Fairy_Boi sucky fucky ten dolla'

Holy shit.  See what happens when you engage these retards?  Talk about playing down to the level of your opponent....

Regardless, I have deevo25 figured out.  When confronted with valid responses, he runs and hides and creates delusional blogs, shaming himself and his family so bad that I will name his family lineage for generations  to come.

The only problem is, that this horse tooth bastard is a homo.  Unless science catches up with him, he won't be having any offspring any time soon.

Regardless, I'm pleased to present to you a video based on deefag's existence.  (He's the annoying cunt, as usual).








The English are silly,  


Lick Bag Bishes
]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/blogs/view/81191228/ deevo25 facinayshun Thank you Mr. deevo25/No_U/Fairy_Boi sucky fucky ten dolla'<br /><br />Holy shit.  See what happens when you engage these retards?  Talk about playing down to the level of your opponent....<br /><br />Regardless, I have deevo25 figured out.  When confronted with valid responses, he runs and hides and creates delusional blogs, shaming himself and his family so bad that I will name his family lineage for generations  to come.<br /><br />The only problem is, that this horse tooth bastard is a homo.  Unless science catches up with him, he won't be having any offspring any time soon.<br /><br />Regardless, I'm pleased to present to you a video based on deefag's existence.  (He's the annoying cunt, as usual).<br /><br /><br /><embed src="http://www.ebaumsworld.com/player.swf" flashvars="pageurl=http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/81142155/&amp;file=http://media.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/video/383945/81142155.mp4&amp;mediaid=81142155&amp;title=Justice for Annoying Buttmunches with Loud Ringtones&amp;tags=ringtone,annoying,buttmunch,assmasters,loud,public,train,bus,funny,clint,milestyles55,goaheadmakemyday&amp;description=A great way to get them to turn that shit down in public...&amp;displayheight=325&amp;backcolor=0x0d0d0d&amp;lightoclor=0x336699&amp;frontcolor=0xcccccc&amp;image=http://images.ebaumsworld.com/thumbs/video/383945/81142155.jpg&amp;username=milestyles55" wmode="opaque" height="345" width="425" allowscriptaccess="never" allownetworking="internal" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />The English are silly,   <br /><br /><br />Lick Bag Bishes<br /> 81173130 Thu, 04 Nov 2010 21:18:18 -0400 [Blog] Ode to My Balls Added: 2010-11-04 21:18:18
The following poem is to be read to the tempo of your favorite rock, metal, opera, classical, hip hop, reggae, or techno tune:



Too tight, tight, its inflation,

Damn jeans have cut off the circulation,

Grab, yank, and they're there, Super Ball Ball

Super Ball Ball, Super Ball Ball

Too tight, tight, gonna pass out

Gonna cut the crap and let my balls of brass out

Grab, zip, and they're out, Super Ball Ball

Super Ball Ball, Super Ball Ball





Live creative balls poetry by some random dude:





Hennessy and lick bag bishes....

]]> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/blogs/view/81173130/ Ode to My Balls The following poem is to be read to the tempo of your favorite rock, metal, opera, classical, hip hop, reggae, or techno tune:<br /><br /><br /><br />Too tight, tight, its inflation,<br /><br />Damn jeans have cut off the circulation,<br /><br />Grab, yank, and they're there, Super Ball Ball<br /><br />Super Ball Ball, Super Ball Ball<br /><br />Too tight, tight, gonna pass out<br /><br />Gonna cut the crap and let my balls of brass out<br /><br />Grab, zip, and they're out, Super Ball Ball<br /><br />Super Ball Ball, Super Ball Ball<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Live creative balls poetry by some random dude:<br /><br /><embed wmode="opaque" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5QPGfIdXSo0?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" height="385" width="480" allowscriptaccess="never" allownetworking="internal" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" /><br /><br /><br /><br />Hennessy and lick bag bishes....<br /><br />