"The European Commission has been calling it "novel flu", replacing the word "swine" to avoid prompting a fall in demand for pork and bacon."  - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8027043.stm

"The European Commission said Wednesday it would call the deadly swine flu the "novel flu virus" to minimise damage to the farm industry."  -  http://www.eubusiness.com/news-eu/1241008328.34

Is it just me or have I just witnessed how stupid the governernment can be first hand (I am not saying that they're always stupid). Everybody already knows it as "swine flu", whatever damage may have been done by calling it swine flu is already been done. Do they really think just because they decide to call it something different we don't already know where it came from (even though pork is safe if you're not a dumbass that decides to eat it raw), I bet after this they'll say "We certainley did our bit to help the farming industry, well done boys clap on the back".

Yay zombie piggies taking over the world!

After withdrawing my last £2 from the bank in order to afford my fix of the brown demon (tobacco not heroin) and plying my custom at the shop that sold the merchandise I was seeking, I walked gleefully out of the doors of the shop and carried on staring down at my hands as they perfectly rolled that little death tube I was longing for.

No sooner had I sparked said tube of death and began exhaling the first puffs of ecstasy when I passed by a person selling the big issue (if you don't know it's what they give to homeless people to sell in England). This man selling the big issue inquired to me "BIG ISSUE SIR", now myself being content with my rollie carried on walking as I quenched the thirst of my addiction, now this is when from behind I hear the holler of "YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE THE INTELLIGENCE TO RESPOND". I carried on walking.

Now I have been thinking about this all day and have come to a couple of conclusions about this encounter that I would like to share and I hope you'll give your own opinions about it.

Firstly I have a right to not ackowledge any person who randomly addresses me in the street, I have the right to my own personal space and do not deserve to be insulted by someone in the street who I don't even know. They shouldn't think that just because they're homeless they have a right to guilt trip me as I walk by them like I would a lot of other people on the street who are trying to sell me shit, it's not like I actually owe him anything.

From his point of view though there must be a lot of people who pass him by and ignore him just like I did, maybe he had had enough of it just like everyone else does and decided to snap for once, I know I most probably would after a while.

How might things have worked out differently if I had behaved in a different way, would me saying no thank you to him have made his day better?(I couldn't have bought the magazine he was hawking me even if I wanted to because I didn't have any money left. Which from previous experiences isn't that great), did a person who was contemplating buying his magazine not bother either because he thought that what he said was rude? Could this person have been able to buy some food? In reality there are too many different things to consider.

The strangest thing about being insulted by a homeless guy is that I don't know whether I should feel bad that I ignored him or angry because he insulted me.

Ok to make for a bit of fun I thought we could all make a little story.

Here's how it will work:

I'll start by writing the first sentence/paragraph.

Then the next person will write the second sentence/paragraph.

It has to make sense (with what's been posted before, e.g. the main character can't go from being a boy to girl just like that, any changes have to be explained), but it can be a little random.

If two or more people post a reply to the previous sentence then the person posting next reply must state whose post they are going to use by putting the user's name in brackets at the begining of their post.

Please try to make it clear where you are going with your post so that it doesn't get too confusing for the people posting afterwards or reading the story.

Spelling is not to important as longa s the post is legible.

Here we go and cheers for playing..............................

I was sat on a cold and lonely rock in the middle of a godforsaken dessert that I had been trapped in for far too long.

I was feeling hungry and thirsty so I opened my last pack of crisps and can of beer, they tasted amazing, this was most probably due to the fact that I hadn't eaten in days. Then a feeling of dread overcame me, I knew that after this I would be well and truly fucked.

Nothing else to do now but stare up at the beautiful, crimson evening sky and try to remember how I ended up in this predicament.

It all began when.....................................................

Yes the most holy and amazing of all the vegetation on this planet (in my opinion that is), the tasty little scorcher that is made out of awesomeness and capsaicin. This is my blog playing homage to that lovely little fruit.

I consider the first bite of almost any food that is heavily laden chilli, and let's be honest it goes with almost anything, on better than hit of pure ecstasy. It's the slightly odd tingling feeling that you get when it hits your tongue, I imagine that this is how a girl might feel when they put something long in somewhere else that can get tingly, that does it for me.

If I could I would eat those little pieces of rectal pain at every meal, but alas my dreams are spoiled by the rest of my family's disgust for said joyous fruit. As such I am limited to only using one chilli when I cook. DAMN.

I think the main reason why I and others of the same ilk like chilli's so much is that they release endorphins (which are also released when you orgasm, I think?) into the brain in a similar manner to chocolate. What I can be pleasurable to eat fruit? I'm there.

So pass me the bowl of chillis, a carton of milf (ha i'm going to leave this spelling mistake) for afterwards, and a tray of ice cubes............................

P.S. join my chilli lovers group if you like chillis and can be bothered.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/groups/view/78848

Over and out captain.

Is it just me or is children's TV retarded these days?

Just to clarify I'm talking about shows aimed at very young children.

Have any of the ebaums users out there watched any children's TV recently? I'm guessing that you might agree with me if you have.

I remember when I watched TV as a child there was some old bitch who flew around in an old plane with the Dulux dog (a mascot for an English paint company, not the dog in the show, it was just the same breed) and talked about shops, carnivals, oranges and other things to expand our young brains. Now that is just one show in particular, however the majority of them were also fairly educational as well.

And what do children get these days? Well I will tell you, they get bouncing hermaphroditic blobs who talk as much shit as two prostitutes out on their first week long crack binge. I'm certainly not saying that there isn't any educational shows out there, just that seems to be a severe lack of them. Which rather disturbs me, do we want children bombarded with crap from an early age, or with learning?

Maybe I was just watching the wrong show, which admittedly wasn't for that long either (I couldn't handle any more of that shit, AGGGGGHHHHHH!!). Then again maybe children's TV is just really, really retarded.

I remember when I was young and could chew through books like a little bookworm. I would read probably at least four books a month, none of this great literary masterpiece crap though. Some of which is completely overrated, anyone ever read a Thomas Hardy novel? I had to read that shit for my English Literature class and it was the sole reason why I dropped it, a Streetcar Named Desire on the other hand was a brilliant read (and it was a play!).

Anyway that is not the point I want to make in this blog, what I would like to talk about is the decreasing amount of younger children that read; let's say that their age is around 10-15. When was the last time you saw a person of the younger generation sat on the train reading a book or sat under a tree in the park reading a book, hell I think it has become so rare you can include hearing them talk about reading a book (Where's Wally does not count). I don't know what your answer may be, but I do know that mine is the last time i saw a yong'in reading was during a blue moon.

There are probably many reasons for this including TV and movies, computers (which you can use to access these fancy new e-books, but are more likely to be used to look for porn and visit ebaumsworld), playing video games ,Playing sports and hanging out with friends etc.

Why has one of the things that differentiated humanity from monkeys swinging clubs around seemingly become so obsolete? Or maybe i am just wrong, well at least this time I hope that is the case.

My five favourite books:

The Straw Men, Michael Marshal: Read it when I was younger, the poor books now falling apart.

The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes, (Sir) Arthur Conan Doyle: The pace of the stories in the book are so much faster than any TV or film adaptation I have seen. It is also one of those books that pull you in and don't let you go until the last sentence 

From a Buick 8: Used to read this one whilst listening to The Mars Volta during my weird space cadet phase.

Underground Man, Mick Jackson: Its about an English Duke who goes crazy from Syphillis, need I say more?

The Disc World Novels, Terry Pratchett: Nice colourful stories that anybody can read.

Windows ME has crashed, dumping system memory files...........................................

Well howdy there to all the Ebaums users ("I dont od drugs")

Just a sample of what i have been listening to lately and why:

Jonny Cash- I watched the film recently, it was pretty awsome. Have to pay your dues to the man in black.

Red Hot Chilli Peppers: Heard my mate play some of their songs on his gutair, he is actually suprisingly good, good enough to make me want to listen to the album.

Techno: because im a bedroom DJ, suprisingly my parents dont hate me......yet.

What have the users of Ebaums been listening to lately? This is the one blog i have seen lately that actually warrents ICP to be brought up (someone in particular take note)

Well im off to go make a sound like a two year old banging pots together, toodle pip old fellows.