i came across a story on a forum that shall remain nameless. but i had epic lulz at it and i thought i would share it with you folks as well!

"now i am sure you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. little kids running around and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. but the worst are the biters, yes those little c*nts that feel that it is ok to bite you whenever they feel like it.

and here is where my story starts....a biter got me today as i was grocery shopping. he got me in the leg and he broke the f*cking skin too! this is where the gears started turning, the moment i saw a tiny sprinkle of blood on the little shit's teeth as he was grinning at me like the little shit he is. an epiphany hit me and i strat screaming SHIT SHIT!!!!!!. Now, my good friend, which we will call tom, instantly picked up on it. he then shoted FUCK MAYBE HE DIDNT GET IT FUCK!!!! by now the kid is scared shitless and starts crying and almost instantly Mizz Mom appears outta fucking nowhere and start bitching and getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid. here's the kicker, i look the mom straight in the eye and say, ma'am get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and i'm......i'm HIV positive!!!!!!

and now there is silence. not a peep in the entire store! the brat knows he just fucked up big time cos his mom isnt defending his ass. she just stares at me wide eyed. tom and i walk away from her, bought my shit from the cashier all the while my calf is bleeding.as we left the store we start to hear the mother sobbing...sobbing like the c*nt she is......

i never felt any more satisfaction in my life than the moment i heard that sob....."

THE POWER OF THREE LITTLE WORDS

Some of the most significant messages people deliver to one another often come in just three words. When spoken or conveyed, those statements have the power to forge new friendships, deepen old ones and restore relationships that have cooled.

The following three word phrases can enrich every relationship:

I'LL BE THERE - Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and to us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. 'Being there' is at the very, very core of civility.

I MISS YOU - Perhaps more marriages could be salvaged and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other, "I miss you." This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved.

I RESPECT YOU - Respect is another way of showing love. Respect conveys the feeling that another person is a true equal. It is a powerful way to affirm the importance of a relationship.

MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT - This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoring frayed emotions. The flip side of "maybe you're right" is the humility of admitting "maybe I'm wrong."


PLEASE FORGIVE ME - Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own up to he has been in the wrong, which is by saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

I THANK YOU - Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.


COUNT ON ME - "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out." "Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship; it is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those who are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there, indicating "you can count on me."

LET ME HELP - The best of friends see a need and try to fill it. When they spot a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they pitch in and help.


I UNDERSTAND YOU - People become closer and enjoy each other more if they feel the other person accepts and understands them. Letting others know in so many little ways that you understand him or her is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship.

GO FOR IT - Some of your friends may be non-conformists, have unique projects and unusual hobbies. Support them in pursuing their interests. Rather than urging your loved ones to conform, encourage their uniqueness - everyone has dreams that no one else has.


I suppose the 3 little words that you were expecting to see have to be reserved for those who are special; that is .........I LOVE YOU.
Some may say there is another "It's your fault"

~Author Unknown~

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.

He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.

Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water! She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it so slowly, and then asked, How much do I owe you?"

You don't owe me anything," she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness."

He said ... "Then I thank you from my heart."


As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Many years later that same young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.

Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes.

Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.

Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once.

He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to her case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won.

Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, and then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words...!

"Paid in full with one glass of milk"

(Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.

On a British Airways flight from Johannesburg, a middle-aged,
well-off white South African lady has found herself sitting next
to a black man. She called the cabin crew attendant over to
complain about her seating.

"What seems to be the problem, Madam?" asked the
attendant.

"Can't you see?" she said, "You've sat me next to a kafir. I
can't possibly sit next to this disgusting human. Find me
another seat!"

"Please calm down, Madam." the stewardess replied. "The
flight is very full today, but I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll
go and check to see if we have any seats available in club or
first class".

The woman cocks a snooty look at the outraged black man
beside her (not to mention many of the surrounding
passengers). A few minutes later the stewardess returns with
the good news, which she delivers to the lady, who cannot help
but look at the people around her with a smug and
self-satisfied grin.

"Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full. I've
spoken to the cabin services director, and club is also full.
However, we do have one seat in first class".

Before the lady has a chance to answer, the stewardess
continues: "It is most extraordinary to make this kind of
upgrade, however, and I have had to get special permission
from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt
that it was outrageous that someone should be forced to sit
next such an obnoxious person."

With that, she turned to the black man and said: "So if you'd
like to get your things, sir, I have your seat ready for you..."

At which point, the surrounding passengers stood and gave a
standing ovation while the man walked to the front of the
plane.

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, 

I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.

His name was Mark.

It looked like he was carrying all of his books.

I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?  He must really be a nerd."

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.

They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.

His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.

He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.

My heart went out to him.  So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.

As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks.  They really should get lives."  


He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!"

There was a big smile on his face.

It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. 

As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.

He said he had gone to private school before now.

I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.

He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.

I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends

He said yes.

We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Mark, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Mark with the huge stack of books again.

I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday! "

He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Mark and I became best friends.

When we were seniors we began to think about college.

Mark decided on  Georgetown  and I was going to Duke. 

I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem.

He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Mark was valedictorian of our class.

I teased him all the time about being a nerd.

He had to prepare a speech for graduation. 

I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.

Graduation day, I saw Mark.

He looked great.

He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.

He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. 

He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.

Boy, sometimes I was jealous!  Today was one of those days.

I could see that he was nervous about his speech.

So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" 

He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.

"Thanks," he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began.

"Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. 

Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends...

I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.

I am going to tell you a story." 

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the 
story of the first day we met.

He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.

He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. 

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.

"Thankfully, I was saved.  My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. 

I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.

Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions.

With one small gesture you can change a person's life. 

 UPS AIRLINES
 

Just in case you need a laugh:

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,'
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.


Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are  some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
Descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."

So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!" she had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away.

Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."

She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"

"I sure did, " said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check."