At the end of the beloved 1995 Adam Sandler vehicle, Billy Madison, the goof-ball title character passes off on his fathers hotel chain and proclaims "I'm gonna be a teacher!". With a lead in like that I wonder if they ever considered a sequel? The movie was slightly panned when it was first released but has since become a cult comedy with massive sales on VHS and DVD. Who hasn't seen Billy Madison at least once? It's probably being played on TV right now somewhere in the world  and a whole new generation of fans will be quoting Sandler's trademark jabber. Would a sequel be successful at this point? Yes.

Most of Sandler's comedy's are based around the idea of putting his tough guy, slightly retarded every man character's into interesting life situations. Happy Gilmore, a movie based on what would happen if Adam was a pro golf player. You got Big Daddy,a movie about what would happen if a kid just showed up on Sandler's door. How about Mr. Deed's? A movie about what would happen if he inherited a huge fortune (yeah, I know it was a remake but the point is they made it because they knew the plot was a great Adam Sandler movie). Billy Madison gives us the perfect chance to ask "What if Adam Sandler was a teacher?" Sounds like a movie to me, but what would the movie really be about? Let me tell you.

We have Billy graduating from collage and getting a job as an elementary school teacher. This scenario is funny because of how horrible he was to his teachers, now he's going to get it right back. Put Adam in a suit and tie with "Mr. Madison" (my working title BTW) written on the black board behind him and a class full of off stubborn elementary schoolers, the scenes will write themselves. Mr. Madison will fail miserably with the class at first but will eventually win them over with his unorthodox but surprisingly effective teaching style. We could have Billy married to Mrs. Vaughn who could be pregnant, His father would be passed away (Darren McGavin died in 2006) and Eric, the villain from the first movie in jail. Eric getting out of prison and seeking out revenge would add great conflict to the story. A drunken relapse with the return of the penguin, a parent teacher interview with the O'doyle family and then throw in a rival teacher for billy to harass and you've got yourself a  profitable Adam Sandler comedy. Don't worry Norm Mcdonald, there's a part for you too.So who wants the script?

Side Note: Adam Sandler is my favorite actor of all time and Judd Apatow and Co are amazing, I cant even tell you how excited I am to see Funny People tonight. I know this movie is going to inspire me in ways I've never been inspired. yes this is my real face.

Being chubby is a drag. I mean, if your a full blown blimpy fuck already then fine, you get to stuff your face all day long and it just doesn't matter anymore. Being fit and packing on pounds is way worse because everybody you know will remind you of it. Nobody goes up to there already 300 pound friend and says "gosh your getting fat". Every where I went someone in my life would comment on how fat I'd become. Frustrated, I picked up many diet books and health magazines: Mens Health, Abs Diet, South Beach Diet, Eat This - Not That, and countless others to help me along and inspire me to reach my goal. We all know how I lost the weight on my own terms but I still have about a whole years worth of Men's Health stacked beside my toilet. While deuce dropping today I started browsing through them again and realized what bullshit these magazines are. Every issue is basically the same. Recycled relationship advice and dieting for dummies over and over again so I'm gonna sit here and break it down and give you my take and maybe help you save a few bucks or maybe even lose some weight.

Advice column's in mens magazines and probably every other publication like them are never realistic. While reading these Q and A's I often wondered if they were worded as such so your girlfriend would browse through it and say "oh how thoughtful, he's reading an advice column. He really does care and look at all the agreeable advice - I think I'll suck his cock. gargle gargle". I read one today that asked: "Q: My girlfriend wants a dog but I know I'll end up taking care of it, how do I say no? Help!". The response MH gave was to ask her to take classes and attend dog walks so she gets an idea of how much work a dog is. So the answer is to treat your woman like a child? When a woman wants something there is nothing you can do to stop her from wanting it. So why not give the honest, true answer? What this little bitch boy should do is respect the fact that his partner is an adult and can make her own decisions. The dog will chew out the crotch in all her panties and your point will be proven. Maybe you should whip down your pants and take a shit by the bedroom door every morning for a week so she gets the big picture. I read another: "Q: My girlfriend keeps trying to include me in her and her ex's inside jokes, what do I do?". MH went on to say that this behavior wasn't appropriate and that he might as well let the guy have a threesome with them. Even when it gets a little ballsy it seems so juvenile to me. How bout this, try letting go of the fact that your not the only man who's been in your girlfriends vagina and be happy that she wants to joke around and have fun with you. "1000 ways to make her scream!", "101 ways she can get you off" says magazines like MH, Maxim, FHM, Stuff or whatever else Megan Fox is on the cover of. I don't know of more then 3, maybe 4 different ways I can bust a nut in a day and these mag's seem to come up with 100's of new ways each and every month. Whatever happened to a normal blow job? I read a list that suggests a woman should whip out a pocket mirror while polishing knob so that you can see all the angles. What if I see my own reflection in that mirror and it looks like I'm blowing myself?  This guy that wrote in complaining about how he doesn't like giving oral to his chick really put things into perspective for me. "Its the only way she can cum" he bitched. No wonder these magazines suck. how can you have a reputable mens publication when the men reading it don't even like pussy?

The most prominent features these magazines all share is the weight loss tips. Every cover boasts shit like "Flatter abs in 2 weeks" or "look better naked" and recipes like "no guilt pizza" and low calorie beer taste tests. I drink PBR's like a mother fucker, you think I care if the healthy beer tastes bad? I'm just going drink until all of it's gone anyhow. The moral of this article is this - If you are choosing a Big Mac over a Whopper because its healthier for you, you are not in the correct mind set to ever reach your goal of losing weight. If anything you'll end up on a news reel, you know - The faceless fatty walking by while some reporter tells us how fat America is getting and how the next fad diet is going to reshape all our fat asses with little to no effort. If you turn to a men's magazine for advice about your relationship you are obviously too immature to handle a serious relationship anyways. I've had to create a make-shift plunger out of a cottage cheese container to unclog my toilet after my girlfriend took a giant shit (it worked BTW). I've been wrist deep in my finances shit and you really think you can tell me what she really wants and needs? Didn't think so. So all of you fat guys out there, don't read books, use common sense and put the fucking Pringles down. You will never feel a greater feeling then waking up one morning and seeing your own dick again. Guys down on your luck with there significant others, stop writing in to men's magazine's. You will never feel a greater feeling then waking up one morning and seeing your fucking ball's again.

W3

Holy Water/Oil With Cross on Top - $15

Date:2009-07-21, 8:33AM EDT

Holy water bottle Has a cross on the cap. Long 3".515 Dia .620" Also has option to engrave holy water/oil $1 extra to engrave has oring to seal It is also available for personal use, it was pious custom for Catholic homes to obtain this water as a sign of joyous renewal on Easter Sunday. Will make a very nice gift for male or female, also is a good souvenir for babies baptism have the water of their baptism, good for priests when they have emergency service, also has a cross in the front, this is stainless steel don't rust or stain. Will last your life time This item is very special, as you can fill it with holy water and bless yourself or your love ones, before prayer leave the home or sleep Should you purchase more than one item we combine shipping, we do calculator shipping Payments: Paypal This item ships worldwide-Insurance is advised on all items, in case of lost or stolen or damage, a replacement or return can then be given. We do fast shipping Also you can leave on your key holder 

wesley_crusher@ymail.com Wrote:

Hey, I am interested in purchasing your Holy Water Bottle. How can I be assured that the water inside is real Holy Water? Please respond promptly. W3

Poster Replied:

Yes, this is realy holy water from Santa Anna Church in Fall River Mass, we don't like to play with real things.  

wesley_crusher@ymail.com Wrote:

Ok, one more question. Will the water protect me from evil? It's one thing to have water from a church It's another to have actual Holy Water. W3

Poster Replied:

From long experience I have learned that there is nothing like holy water to put devils to flight and prevent them from coming back again, they also fleet from the 'Cross, but return; so holy water must have great virtue.

wesley_crusher@ymail.com Wrote:

I'm going to bring the Holy Water along on my trip to Louisiana, I could use it to deter hellspawn like those fucking blood sucking Vamps. How do I make a proper order? I'll take 4, one for each member of my family. Thank you for your help.

Poster Replied:

The bottles is $15.00 each 4 is $60 plus $5.99 for shipping you only pay for one bottle shipping, the total is $65.99 Thank you

END TRANSMISSION: hey gang, had this kicking around so I figured I'd share. You might notice the titles a bit different, I'll be using it from now on as I feel its a bit more universal. I've been responding to a tun of personals, lost and found and just sales ads along with the usaual items wanted stuff. I got real silly this time on account of my recent addiction: True Blood. Anna Paquin is so fucking hot! All I wanna do is watch this show. Have any of you been watching? W3  

LOST FLASH DRIVE

Date: 2009-07-19, 1:41PM EDT

Lost this card while visiting the USS Intrepid Museum, Grand Central Station and then Central Park Sunday afternoon, July 12th. It may be on the hill to the right of The Pond if you're coming in at the 59th Street or 5th Ave entrance. It contains touristy photos from the Empire State Building and the USS Intrepid. Finder is welcome to keep card as a reward since I just want the images. Will pay for shipping and DVD costs, of course. Thanks!

wesley_crusher@ymail.com wrote:

I found your Flash drive full of "touristy photos". You are clearly planning some sort of attack, noone takes that many photos of a building without bad intentions. What are you thinking as far as my compensation to keep this hush hush? W3

Poster Replied:

Heh-heh...you caught me. I am guilty of being an "uncertain" photographer and a first time Empire State Building visitor. ;) So, what would you like? How about a couple drinks the next time I'm in NYC? It's the least I can do.

wesley_crusher@ymail.com wrote:

I guess a drink will suffice, but you better not be Arab. I know how much you Arabs like plotting terrorism. I DONT do Arabs. W3

Poster Replied:

Nope, not Arab. Good ol' American. Elkabab alhummus...'scuse me, I sneezed. Anyway, a thousand blessings upon you, your Blogspot and ebaumsworld.com postings!

END TRANSMISSION: Craigsshit wanted ads has officially "surfed the shark". No more from W3SL3Y for awhile. It's too fucking hectic here now. It's funny to think I was considered a troll when i first started posting (or maybe I still am), I got nothing on these cockfags. big ups to the real bloggers that inspired me to write again: Platy, bohank and rednote.

In the human anatomy a Foreskin is described as a retractable fold of skin that covers and protects the head of the penis. In my life I describe it as an unsightly "Cockflap" that prevents my dick from ever really touching the inside of a vagina. I am currently looking into finally being circumcised but before I make a decision I must first look back on my life and see how this little piece of skin has truly affected me.

 The first time I realized I was different was probably my first hand job. "Why does your cock feel so sleek?" she coos in my ear, "I've never felt one like this". Big, Huge, In, Awesome = all words you want to hear about your dick. Sleek is not on that list. Sure, I'd seen other dicks in porn before but I never really paid close attention to them. Anyways, I waited until she finished to ask what the big deal was. "You have extra dick skin" she says. How Embarrassing, totally ruined my first HJ. This isnt the only time my foreskin has hindered me sexually. Every time I enter a vagina I feel like I'm not really fucking a chick, I feel like I'm just fucking the inside of my foreskin. Talk about double penetration. I also hate how my dick needs to be unraveled all the time, like rolling back a condom preying that there's no piss or smegma under the hood (or "Riding Dirty" if you attend the meetings).

 I had a real hard time potty training with my foreskin. Sometimes when its stretched over the helmet it can be very hard to aim, so I made an early habit of sitting down while I took leaks. Yes, not only does this thing make me a premature ejaculator (or "Rapid Climaxer" if you attend the meetings) but it also makes me pee like a girl. Come to think about it, the foreskin is actually close cousins with the clitoris. Perhaps this is why I'm so in tap with my feminine side. The rest of the population is walking around hardened and rigid from the world while I remain sensitive and guarded. I must say that this makes a lot of sense to my life. This extra piece of flesh has taught me some very important lessons: To keep clean and tidy, to pace myself before I blow it and most importantly - to sit down and think things through every now and then. Maybe I'll keep Shaggy around after all. Big shout out to all my uncut brethren out there. Next time someone calls you "Cheese Dick", just think: You're the one with docking abilities.

W3

hardwood flooring - $150

Date: 2009-06-23, 9:15PM PDT

Approx. 400-500 sq. feet blonde oak-like hardwood flooring, used only once on film set. Interlocking pieces, great condition.

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wesley_crusher@ymail.com Wrote:

I'm on the prowl for some hardwood. I wont need to be floored. I want it dark and natural and please, NO STAINS. When can I come by for an "appointment" I cant wait to see what you got.

W3

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Paolo Replied:

what city are you in? The showroom is in the City Of Industry, bout 20 min from downtown LA with notraffic. But i handle the SFV and carry most of the samples out of my car. Since not too many valley peeps wanna take the drive to City of Industry. My days are open. You tell me whats a good time for you to meet and either i can have you come to my home, or drive to you half way and show you the sample flooring that wecarry. Just call me to schedule an appnt.Thanks,

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 wesley_crusher@ymail.com Wrote:

I live pretty close. I always have time for some good hard wood so my schedule is yours, I'll wait forever if I have to. I forgot to ask about the Smooth Finish you give the hard wood. Sounds like it feels really good. How large is your wood? I'm not sure if I'll be able to take it all the first time around.

W3

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Paolo Replied:

Thankyou for your interest in my hardwood. So when your ready for me, calll and we'll schedule to meet.Thanks

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 END TRANSMISSION: I have done a ton of innuendo type responses and its amazing how many come back clueless. I did one about "Stool Logs" thats almost too good to be true. It's just loooong.

I NEED EMPTY BEER BOTTLES! (Westside)

Date: 2009-06-23, 10:55AM PDT

Hey there, I need about 30-50 empty beer bottle... I would love them to be Sierra Nevada bottles but any of the shorter style bottles would do. Let me know and I can come pick them up today or tomorrow. thanks

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wesley_crusher@ymail.com Wrote:

I have a tun of bottles like the ones you described. I'm in the process of flipping a house. The squatters that used to live at my project left about a million half empties. The plumbing doesn't work so I'm thinking some have urine in them. I will give them to you for free. Let me know. I also have 500 hypodermic needles still in the packages.

W3

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Simon Replied:

Jesus... sounds like you quite a mess on your hands! I only need about 50-60 at the most, but I'm interested. I'll skip the needles if you don't mind! Where are you located?

SIMON

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wesley_crusher@ymail.com Wrote:

I just cant believe your going to take all these piss bottles off my hands. I have some name ideas for the brew your making :

Yellow Stripe

Urona Extra

Pabst Blue Pisstin

Dos Pissies

M G PEE

Kidney Stone Light

Guinpiss

You got any ideas?

W3

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Simon Replied:

Hey... Sorry but a lady hooked me up with some non-piss bottles. Fantasic names though! But You forgot Budwizzer and Sam bladders. Thanks anyways...

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END TRANSMISSION: I got fucking served! Anybody else got some Piss Beer Brands?

Mobility Scooter - $1400 (Ossignton and Davenport)

Date: 2009-06-16, 2:29PM EDT

I have a mobility scooter for sale. It belonged to my grandmother, who bought it a few years ago but didn't use it. It is still in perfect working condition. It is dark blue, has 3-wheels and the seatback folds down. It has adjustable speed and forward and reverse all accessible from the handles. I don't know the make or model, but I've seen similar models on here for around this price, however, I am willing to negotiate. I don't have a car, so you will need to come and pick it up, I can't deliver it.

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wesley_crusher@ymail.com Wrote:

So, me and my friends were wondering if you would sell this to us eventhough we are not handicapped or old. We are willing to pay double. In all honesty we will probably trash it. Ride it down steep hills, Take it off sweet jumps and maybe even dress up like old men and bust some awesome pranks!! What do I have to do to take this ride off your hands?

W3

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Andrew Replied:

if you want it, all you need is the cash. i really couldn't care less who takes it off my hands. but if you do jump it or anything like that, film it and post it on youtube, that'd be awesome. just let me know when you have the money and i'll tell you where you can pick it up.

free furniture (lancaster or palmdale)

Date: 2009-06-22, 12:36PM PDT

I need furnture for my new place.I will pick up.

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wesley_crusher@ymail.com Wrote:

I work at a local film studio and we have a tun of old furniture from old productions. They are free so long as you can pick it up. I should also let you know that they have all been used quite a bit, mostly for adult movies. If you can look past what took place on these couches you could have yourself a pretty sweet pad.

W3

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Mindy Replied:

other than what they were used for, is there no holes or anything would look good in my home after a shampoo.if so what is the address and phone#to arrange pickupthanks mindy

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wesley_crusher@ymail.com Wrote:

This is a very messy industry. Most of the models refuse to do a scene if they know someone bricked on it a week ago. Thats why we have so many living room sets, we give them away for free so we can make room for more. If your interested I can walk you through the warehouse and tell you what kind of fluids are on what and what went down on them. I was present during most of the stray bullets. I dont see a problem with it. My house is completly furnished by porn. There all conversation pieces.

W3

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Mindy Replied:

Hi can you please give me address and phone# to arrange to come over and check out some love seatsThanks Mindy

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END TRANSMISSION: oh baby, these are "love seats" allright.