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- Pelican
- Strange bird the pelican, it's mouth can hold more then it's belly can.
- nustierleonard 05/04/2012
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- Sweet soon...
- I sat my 8 year old son at the dining table and placed a bowl of sweets in front of him. I then left the room for 5 minutes as a test to see if he...
- poityb 04/26/2012
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- Hey!
- Go eat a bowl of poop.
- jiggersnot 03/19/2012
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- Dinner with who??
- Wife: If you could have dinner with anyone, who would it be?? Man: Gandhi... Wife: Why!? Man: More food for me...
- ipaintHER 11/01/2011
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- Two Cannibals
- Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a...
- wap123 09/14/2011
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- 3 Guys On An Island
- 3 guys ended up on an island. Their ship went down and not a sign of help coming. After a few days, they ran out of coconuts to eat. One of them...
- P00KY 06/06/2010
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- Shit House Wall Literature...
- People that write on Shit-House Walls, Roll their Shit into little Balls, Those who read these Words of Wit, Eat those little Balls of...
- wxb200 05/13/2010
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- Drunk Food
- Rick gave his drunk buddy Lance something to taste. He said Rick-"Here can you taste this?" Lance-"What is it?" Rick-"I...
- Armytron 03/18/2010
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- What do I look like?
- A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs...
- GAMBLE7177 02/16/2010
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- 1st grade quiz
- What is greater than God. More evil than the Devil. The poor have it. The rich don't need it. And if you eat it, you'll die?
- knightfisher 12/03/2009
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- Nothing to Eat
- A woman walks into a tattoo parlor. She gets into the chair and tells the tattoo artist, "I want two tattoos, one on each of my inner thighs. I...
- Still880 10/27/2009
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- If i was a girl.
- If i was a girl, i would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so i would deliver a...
- horrorfreak 10/22/2009
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- Not so far past
- How Do You Turn A Dishwasher Into A Snowblower? Hand The Bitch The Shovel!!!!!
- NUTSANDGUTS 07/12/2009
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- Doctor and his antics.!
- An americans at work when he receives a call from the hospital informing him that his wifes been in an accident. He rushes to A&E where hes met...
- liverpool2 06/16/2009
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- You can now eat your own plate
- Taipei, Taiwan (AP) - Diners tempted to lick a plate after a delicious meal can now go a step further - eat the plate. Chen Liang-erh, 50, an...
- minoroin 06/08/2009
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- Going bats
- Two bats are out searching for a midnight feed. After a while they reunite at the belfry. Boris is still starving, not having found a thing to...
- bangoskank99 05/10/2009
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- dinner by candlelight
- The pretty co-ed nervously asked the doctor to perform an unusual operation: the removal of a large chunk of green wax from her navel. Looking up...
- idontwannakno 04/30/2009
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- One Summer Night
- A man and his wife are in their living room one night. He goes to her "Is it dry tonight or what?" she replied "Hey asshole you're licking the rug!"
- gotribe 03/10/2009
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- Perfect Breakfast from a mans perspective
- You’re sitting at the table and your son is on the cover of Wheaties, your mistress is on the cover of Playboy, and your wife is on the back of the...
- mortgagemescott 02/12/2009
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- Safari
- A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone....
- dcervenka05 02/03/2009
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- Eat the Watermelons
- A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a...
- seeley17 01/08/2009
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- Don't Talk With Your Mouth Full
- An Italian family is sitting at dinner and the father says to his oldest son, "Michael! Why you sucha fat fuck?" He says, "Pa pa,...
- miniminkas 12/19/2008
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- Hungry Monkey
- A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs...
- mayhem123 12/19/2008
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- A Turd in the Park
- Two flies land on a turd. The first fly lifts its leg and rips tremendous ass. The second fly says, "What are you doing!? I'm eating!"
- miniminkas 12/08/2008
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- 445
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- Men eat pussy
- Q: Why do men eat pussy? A: Because god made it shaped like a taco.
- cmurphy0923 11/17/2008
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- Your Mother
- Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a...
- LittleRedClone 11/10/2008
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- Eat, Drink and be MERRY!!
- It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks...
- Cbax819 10/29/2008
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- Sexy christmas and Thanksgiving Tattoo
- A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line. She...
- Who_Dey 10/22/2008
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- eating vegetables
- what's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? the wheelchair
- xETx 10/20/2008
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- CAB DRIVER
- A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon reading the entry for the...
- thugknifer 10/08/2008
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- 1,537
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- Read out loud Knock Knock
- Read Out Loud: Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who?
- mikeymike523 10/02/2008
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- 664
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- i eat mop joke
- knock knock who's there? i eat mop i eat mop who? if you dont get the joke, dont look at the words when you say it, it should come to you
- dj34dj34 08/16/2008
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- Eat Your Vegetables
- Q- Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat A- The wheelchair
- iHucker 08/12/2008
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- Sex Poetry
- Roses are red, Pickles are green, I love your legs, and what's in between Kissing is a habit, Fucking is a game, Guys get all the...
- ghoul_69 08/01/2008
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- 1,436
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- Little Johnny and his brother
- Saturday morning, Johnny wakes up early and goes to his parents room to wake them up. He opens the door only to find Mom and Dad having wild sex. He...
- ghoul_69 08/01/2008
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- Jesus skittles
- Why can't Jesus Christ eat skittles? They fall through his hands.
- restlesspaper_1 07/28/2008
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- Whats For Dinner
- Q. What does Ellen Degeneres cook for dinner every night? A. She doesn't, she eats out!
- heyyyfalcooone 07/19/2008
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