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- List of Mantips
- If you want to save money on buying shampoo, shave your head. Don't eat a spoonful of mashed potatoes then take a shot or gravy, instead, pour the...
- nustierleonard 05/16/2012
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- 2 sturdy Irishmen
- 2 Irishmen named Pete and Pat were discussing death and their ultimate demise one day and Pete says "When I die, can you sprinkle a bottle of...
- nustierleonard 05/12/2012
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- 299
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- Friend Zone Translator
- Girl Quotes Translated Quote Number 1:” I love you like a brother.” Translation: Having sex with you is as appealing to me as incest. Quote...
- klabeaune 04/04/2012
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- TASTES JUST LIKE CHICKEN
- I have a friend who's a vegan. That's good for him, but he's always trying to push his vegan propaganda on me. He'd be like, 'Shane, you should try...
- jedzhonor 01/06/2012
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- Funny Joke
- Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his...
- trollfacejpeg 12/15/2011
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- The Perfect Girl
- A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married. Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman ... I...
- pappas21 06/29/2011
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- dog is truly a man's best friend
- A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Lock your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for...
- samiall 05/11/2010
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- Shit Eaters
- Two drunk friends went out the bar and were hungry. One of them finds a pile of mooshy stuff and tells the other... Hey dude what's this? The other...
- Armytron 04/17/2010
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- Midget In A Coffin
- Guy went to a funeral house to visit his friend who worked there. "Come in, Rick! I'll just finish here and we can go for a beer." his...
- P00KY 03/20/2010
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- Drunk Food
- Rick gave his drunk buddy Lance something to taste. He said Rick-"Here can you taste this?" Lance-"What is it?" Rick-"I...
- Armytron 03/18/2010
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- best friend joke
- A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. As the bartender pours the drink, he remarks, That's quite a heavy drink. What's the...
- itsbriand_bitch 03/11/2010
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- A Fishermans Tale
- Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his...
- caroldaniel67 11/02/2009
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- 1,561
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- Harrassment
- My friend told me that guys at her new school were harrassing her. This is what they were saying: "What do you eat for breakfast?...
- onyx88 06/12/2009
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- 1,591
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- Iraqi soldier buys a camel
- An Iraqi soldier buys a camel, ties it up outside his local bar, and walks inside. “Nice camel,” says one of his buddies. “Is it male or...
- abbottwar 05/04/2009
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- 813
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- Row Your Boat Song
- Roll, roll, roll your joint twist it at the end, take a puff, that's enough and pass it to a friend.
- idontwannakno 05/02/2009
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- 1,076
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- A Couple Of Shots
- There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's the matter?"...
- xckxgoaleprcaun 03/21/2009
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- 1,056
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- Deer For Dinner hilarious
- A rural family was given some deer steaks from a friend. The wife carefully prepared them and served it to her husband and their children. The...
- xckxgoaleprcaun 03/20/2009
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- 1,272
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- His First Time
- The groom is speaking with his best man and telling him that he is still a virgin and is very nervous about consumating the marriage. His best man...
- w_sohl 03/09/2009
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- 578
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- Seduced by a best friend's wife.
- Charlie was visiting an old friend and his wife for dinner. When the time came to leave, his car wouldn't start, and it was too late to call the...
- yuri_vaultin 02/26/2009
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- A friend will...
- A friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move bodies.
- DarthTolkien 12/18/2008
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- 269
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- A friend will...
- A friend will stop you from overreacting. A best friend will walk beside you giggling and saying "Someone is going to get it!"
- DarthTolkien 12/18/2008
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- 259
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- Man's Best Friend
- Q: How can you prove that a dog is truly a man's best friend? A: Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour. When you open...
- WyteRyno 12/09/2008
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- 1,772
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- Hello Operator?
- The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The...
- man1of1steel 12/08/2008
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- 402
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- An F in sex
- A Mom is driving her little girl to a friend’s house for a play date. “Mommy,” the little girl asks, “how old are you?” “Honey, you...
- Firuze 11/25/2008
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- 5,773
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- An Elderly man and his Younger Wife
- There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to...
- mayhem123 10/25/2008
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- 1,187
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- Good Friend
- Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the...
- Ty_Kane 09/29/2008
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- 700
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- Now What?
- A 911 operator received a phone call from a hysterical man who shouted "My friend is dead! He was hit by a car and his body flipped in the air...
- Shadeofdespair 09/10/2008
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- 770
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- Friendship amongst gender
- Proof that men have better friends than women. Friendship amongst women: A woman didnt come home one night. The next morning she told her husband...
- mcgee 08/04/2008
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- 478
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- Husband's Friend
- A husband leaves the house to go pick up dinner for he and his wife. Shortly after leaving, the doorbell rings. It is her husbands best friend and...
- NiggerPants 08/01/2008
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- 942
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- Scoreboard
- One night, a man, his wife and a friend decided to have dinner together. After eating they opened a couple of bottles of wine. Upon finishing the...
- fiveonefiveoh 07/08/2008
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- 440
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- Trying to console a friend
- A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just found his wife in bed with another man. "Get over it, buddy," he said. "It's not the...
- EbaumsKing 07/07/2008
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- 610
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- RIP Rappers
- I was sittin' at home when my friend called me. "Hey, did you hear about the 3 rappers that died?" she asked me. "No" I said...
- ilmbc1519 06/11/2008
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- 1,286
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- A stay in the hospital
- A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery. The day after the procedure, a friend stopped by to see how the guy was...
- mortgagemescott 06/05/2008
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- 963
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- Operator Joke
- Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his...
- L_o_L 05/20/2008
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- 700
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- Dick lover
- What has two thumbs and loves blowjobs? My best friend
- Vampire_Lover95 05/11/2008
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- 1,308
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- My friend is coming for supper
- "Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a...
- ghoul_69 05/02/2008
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- 1,722
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- Wife and best friend
- A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. As the bartender pours the drink, he remarks, "That's quite a heavy drink. What's the...
- ghoul_69 04/16/2008
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- 3,046
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- Man's Best Friend
- A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't beleive that then try this experiment. Lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car for...
- wonderwoman77 03/07/2008
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- 1,282
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- Explosively funny
- Joe and Dave are hunting when Dave keels over. Frantic, Joe dials 911 on his cell phone and blurts, "My friend just dropped dead! What should I...
- bombsdavid 02/20/2008
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- 941
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